Winter Weather

 

With crazy winter weather this year, we at Hope House must be very aware of all the things that can go wrong which can have a huge impact on our clients living in shelter and those coming to us for services. We implement emergency contingencies and go into hyper-planning mode to ensure that we are prepared if the worst case scenario happens. 

First and foremost, our responsibility is to those who are living with us and depend on us for their shelter and daily living needs. With school closings, we need to be prepared with enough food, as we’ll have the children here all day and will be feeding more than we normally would on a weekday.  

We need to have back up plans for electrical outages and emergency staffing plans for those who are working in shelter and those who cannot get in to relieve them. We do intakes and proceed as any other day, just like any other 24-hour facility. 

Our shelter and facilities staff outdid themselves this past storm. I am so appreciative of all of them and the way they handled the situation. They approached it with enthusiasm and determination. Shelter staff prepared themselves to stay for the long haul, and stay they did, doing 24+ hour shifts. They were real troopers. 

Facilities staff came in with shovels and the wonderful snow blowers that we received from our donors. They went to work first on the cars of the shelter staff so that they could go home as relief had arrived, then they went to work on the parking lots and sidewalks so people could get around.  

I am grateful to every one of them for their efforts and their dedication. They truly are heroes in my book.  We can’t stop doing what we do because of the weather and I am grateful for the staff who keep it all going.

Valentine's Day

Next week many people will hear from their significant other how much they are loved and how much they are appreciated. This will be shown with flowers, candy and perhaps a romantic dinner out. Of course, I am talking about celebrating Valentine's Day.

This is a wonderful holiday to celebrate with your loved one and to show them how much you care. However, this can be an extremely difficult holiday for those who have been experiencing domestic violence. The presence of flowers can have a different meaning if the only time you ever receive flowers is after a beating. What if the person who professes to love you also beats you? Calls you horrible names? Forces you to do things you don’t want to do?

 For those who are in our shelter and outreach services, we work to make this day special by celebrating our uniqueness and our special value as individuals. We work with clients to accept who they are and to work through where they have been. We help them dig down deep inside and find that person who is special and worthy of love - especially their own self-love.

When you have been a victim of abuse you can lose your love for yourself. You learn to believe the things that were said about you - that you are unlovable and unworthy of anyone’s love, not even your own. For if you were worth something and lovable, then your partner would not have had to beat you, right? (Of course not! The responsibility of the abuse lies with the abuser, not the victim.)

I ask that as you celebrate Valentine's Day next week, you pause and remember the women and children who are in shelter and services at Hope House. They are working hard to recover from their experiences of abuse, hoping to find themselves and to love themselves again.

Knowing that someone reclaimed themselves and found their voice to profess their self worth and their worthiness of love is the best Valentine's Day present I can receive.

(Note: If you'd like to be a part of a Valentine's Day present we're working on for the women in our shelter, please visit our website www.hopehouse.net.)

 

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

 

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. Many people don’t realize that domestic violence impacts not only adults, but young people as well.

One in three teens will experience violence in their dating relationships. The abuse experienced by teens is similar to the abuse experienced by adults, including physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, and intimidation. Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence, at a rate almost triple the national average.

Teens are not always able to talk about the abuse to trusted adults in their lives. This can be due to a variety of factors including not acknowledging the signs of abuse, fear, embarrassment and fearing they wouldn’t be believed.

A teen’s confusion about the law and the desire for confidentiality are two of the most significant barriers to young victims of violence seeking help.

We must work together to bring attention to the issue of teen dating violence. To do that, we need to provide resources and education to the young people who are experiencing violence. We need to understand the dynamics of domestic violence, recognize it when it happens, and offer interventions. These steps are essential if we are to ever break the cycle.

For more resources regarding teen dating violence there are many websites available. Statistics for this blog came from http://www.teendvmonth.org/. You can also visit http://www.breakthecycle.org/ and the Hope House website http://www.hopehouse.net/ for more information.

Civil Legal Assistance Program

January, 2011 marks the 10 year anniversary of the Hope House Civil Legal Assistance Program. 

In January, 2001, Hope House hired a full-time paralegal and began contracting with a full-time attorney, Mary Weir, to represent victims of domestic violence in civil legal matters.  Over the last ten years the legal program has represented thousands of women in obtaining orders of protection, custody of their children, child support, divorces, name changes, and in other civil legal matters. 

Throughout this ten year period, the program has been primarily funded from a grant through the Office on Violence Against Women (OVW).  However, there were actually two years when the OVW funding didn’t come through and Hope House, recognizing the immense need for direct legal services, managed to continue the program on its own. 

While Ms. Weir has continued on as the contract attorney over the ten year period, there were also times when the funding permitted Hope House to expand the program to two full-time attorneys and extra support staff.  Hope House is happy to announce that we are in the process of once again adding a second attorney and our paralegal of eight years, Shannon Pollard, continues in her full-time position. 

In addition to the direct legal representation the legal program provides, the contract attorney also successfully argued to the Missouri Supreme Court in 2004 for the protection of the identity and records of all persons served by domestic violence agencies in Missouri.

Frequently, the legal program receives comments or letters from women expressing their gratitude for helping them obtain safety, security and empowerment in the face of a daunting legal system.  We know that this program has not only changed women and children's lives, it has saved them.     

Stalking Awareness Month

January 2011 marks the 8^th annual Stalking Awareness Month. During the month of January programs will bring awareness to the issue of stalking and what people can do to stop it.

3.4 million people are stalked in this country each year. Often the perception is that it is celebrities that are stalked by crazed fans. While this does happen, it is not the majority of stalking cases. Three out of four victims know their stalker. Nearly one third of victims are stalked by a current or former spouse or girl/boy friend.

The impact of stalking takes many forms but the emotional and physical toll on the victims is tremendous. The constant threat of someone following you, watching your moves and threatening you places a heavy toll on stalking victims. People who are stalked are always afraid and constantly looking over their shoulders. It is difficult to find peace and rest when fear is always present.

• 46% of stalking victims fear not knowing what will happen next.
• 29% of stalking victims fear the stalking will never stop.
• The prevalence of anxiety, insomnia, social dysfunction, and severe depression is much higher among stalking victims than the general population, especially if the stalking involves being followed or having one’s property destroyed.
• 2/3 of stalkers pursue their victims at least once per week, many daily.
• 78% of stalkers use more than one means of approach.

If you know someone who is being stalked or you are a victim, there are resources available. A great resource is the Stalking Resource Center at www.ncvc.org and also at www.stalkingawarenessmonth.org. As always, Hope House can help answer questions and assist with safety planning. Our 24-hour hotline 816-461-HOPE (4673) is always available.

 

Source: The Stalking Resource Center. (June 2009) Stalking Fact Sheet 2Tjaden, P., & Thoennes, N. (1998). Stalking in America: Findings from the National Violence Against Women survey. National Institute of Justice and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Research in Brief. Washington, DC: U.S. Department

Go Green

 

How can you have a direct and positive impact on the lives of thousands of women and children you may never meet? By going green, you can give green (funds) to support the daily operations of Hope House.

We have partnered with Global Re-Source Funding (GRF) and we’re delighted to offer the opportunity for businesses, schools, churches and other organizations to collect recyclables to support our services and programs for victims of domestic violence.

By collecting inkjet and laser/toner cartridges, cell phones, laptops, GPS devices, digital cameras and iPods, you will be raising money to help Hope House create a safe environment and supportive services for the thousands of  victims of domestic violence who take advantage of these services each year.

The best part of this program is that you can support Hope House simply by asking for a donation of items (not cash!) that most people discard anyway. Your impact can be substantial. Here’s a partial list of the donation Hope House can receive for your recyclables:

Inkjet cartridge: $4

Toner/laser cartridge: $12

Laptop: $35

Cell phones/iPods: $100

GRF provides free recycle bins and marketing materials. They will deliver the bin(s) to you, and will pick them up when they’re full. It couldn’t be easier for you to help us!

Simply contact Lee at Hope House at 816-257-9363 or lmarlin@hopehouse.net, or go to GRF’s website (http://www.globalre-sourcefunding.com/) to sign up directly.

From all of us at Hope House and Global Re-Source Funding, thank you for going green and giving green (cash, through GRF’s donation back to Hope House!) to support our mission to break the cycle of domestic violence.  

Workplace Violence

I receive regular email updates from the Family Violence Prevention Fund (www.endabuse.org) which is a great resource for people who are interested in ending the cycle of domestic violence.

One of the recent updates I received talked about the new initiative launched by President Obama and Vice President Biden called Workplaces Respond to Domestic and Sexual Violence: A National Resource Center.

This center is a new resource that will assist employers in their quest to ensure the safety of their employees. The center was formed by a partnership of seven national organizations led by the Family Violence Prevention Fund (FVPF), and funded by the Justice Department’s Office on Violence Against Women (OVW).

The center has a website for employers to get current information, resources and tools to assist in creating policies that will protect their employees. Often employers seek assistance after an employee has been murdered, as they are trying to determine what went wrong and what they might have been able to do to prevent the murder. This new resource is a valuable tool to employers, and hopefully will help to prevent future domestic violence attacks/murders.

If you are an employer, I encourage you to visit the website of the Center (www.workplacesrespond.org) where you can take a quiz to find out how much you know about violence and its effects on the workplace. Then read more about domestic violence and find out about the resources that are available that will help you maintain a safe environment for everyone.

I believe this new tool is one more step in the direction of ending the cycle of domestic violence and giving everyone the opportunity to live a life free of violence. It takes many concerned individuals to truly make an impact and this new resource provides valuable tools for people to get involved and to make a difference.

I appreciate the hard work the Family Violence Prevention Fund and the other organizations put into this initiative and know we will have positive outcomes because of it.