It's No Laughing Matter: Part II

Last week, Hope House introduced Part I of our new #ItsNoLaughingMatter campaign as part of the 2014 #GivingTuesday (click here if you missed it).

Here is another “joke” mocking victims of domestic violence.

Posts and comments like this are starting to become all too common today. In order to help society understand that domestic violence is no laughing matter, Hope House is sharing advocate stories leading up to #GivingTuesday on December 2.

This week, we wanted to share a story from Brittny:

“During a group session at Hope House, one of the clients shared her story. She got into an argument with her ex-boyfriend after he broke into her home. She ran away for help, and in the process he shot her twice. After that, he pulled her into his car and drove off. Not knowing what he was going to do next, she risked it, opened the truck door and jumped out at 70 miles per hour. She didn’t have any other options.  It’s real.”

Notice this story was between an ex-boyfriend and the victim. Violence is 75 percent more prevalent after the victim leaves. On #GivingTuesday, December 2nd, please stand with Hope House to show domestic violence is no laughing matter. You can stand with us today by forwarding this to others. Help spread the word about domestic violence.

Can't wait to give until #GivingTuesday? Give now HERE!

Too Apparel -- Panties with Purpose

too: adv.
    1. In addition; also: When you buy a pair for yourself, the company donates a pair too.

Last week, we had the great pleasure of meeting Kevin Goryl, co-founder of Too Apparel. Kevin and his wife, Sara, founded this underwear company purely to give back and in honor of a friend they had that died all too early of alcoholism. You can read more about this backstory at weartoo.com/our-story.

Too is predicated on the practice of sell one, give one, and will donate a pair of underwear to a woman’s shelter for every pair sold.

Kevin came to Kansas City to promote Too when Fox 4 News invited him to appear on their morning show. Kevin was impressed with how proactive Kansas City was—Hope House was the very first shelter to sign up with Too and Fox 4 News was the first media to contact them—so he invited us to join him on air! You can view the segment here: fox4kc.com/2014/05/22/underwear-company-benefits-kc-womens-shelter.

The Goryls have strongly held tenets which you can find throughout their website at weartoo.com: “We believe in responsibility, respect, compassion and comfort. We believe in protecting woman and children. We believe in empowerment and making sure everyone has choices. We believe tomorrow WILL be better. We believe in a nonviolent world and we believe you do too.”

It’s a wonderful concept we hope you’ll support. Too has generously offered a discount 20% discount when you use the code FOX4KC as well as free shipping!

From the too website:  too. will donate a pair of underwear to a women's domestic violence shelter for every pair you purchase. Shelters receive a lot of used clothing donations but underwear is too personal of an item to donate used. too.'s mission is to fill this void by providing women in need with new, comfortable and clean underwear. You have visited this website because you care, because you want to make a difference and we do too. Sharing our page on Facebook, tweeting about us to your friends, choosing to wear our underwear or sharing our story with your neighbor makes you part of this movement, part of the too. family. We promise to always be honest and make the right business decisions. That is why we've started this blog. We want you to grow with our company and we want to be completely transparent in our donation process. Starting a business isn't easy so we'll be asking for your advice and help often. Please join us on this journey, together we can make a difference, together we are too.

Nick's Head Shave For Hope

I’m so very excited that, once again, Nick Swearngin is hosting his Head Shave for Hope House event! Nick is a very caring and compassionate individual who created this event and continues to grow it every year.

Initially, Nick started by growing his beard and mustache for several months and then having a gathering where the highest bidder was able to shave it all off and he went bald to raise awareness for Hope House. What an event this has become! These days Nick has taken to dying his hair before the event and wears a t-shirt saying “I did this for Hope House”. He raises over $10,000 at this event and each year he gets more and more people involved to share the story of Hope House and the services that we provide. Last year he had 15 people step up to have their head shaved! It is amazing the number of people each year who step forward and are willing to share of themselves in this way. 

We are incredibly grateful to Nick and to all of those willing participants who are brave enough to go bald for the cause. This year’s event will be on March 16^th from 10am-4pm. It will be at IAFF Local 2195 Lee’s Summit Fire Fighters Association at 322 SE Douglas in Lee’s Summit. There will be a Hope House entry in the St. Patrick’s Day parade which will take place that day as well. This year, Nick has out done himself with gathering great auction items including The Red Ultimate Experience VIP Taylor Swift tickets for the August 3^rd show at Sprint Center. How wonderful!!

This event is great fun and will be full of wonderful people willing to help Hope House and the people we serve. We are extremely grateful and cannot wait to be there and experience the excitement. There are several folks already fundraising on their own personal fundraising pages for the event. If you can’t be there perhaps you want to donate to one of their pages at firstgiving.com/hopehouse.

Thank you to Nick and everyone who will be shaving their heads and those who are fundraising not to have their head shaved! We are extremely grateful to all of you. You can learn more about The Head Shave for Hope House on the facebook event page: headshaveforhope or through our website at hopehouse.net/hair-razing. We look forward to seeing you on March 16^th!

A Day In the Life: Women's Advocate

Our guest blogger today is Lori, a Hope House Women's Advocate.

As a Women’s Advocate here at Hope House, I have many different roles.  No day—or hour for that matter—is ever the same. 

Today when I came into work, I spent the first few hours providing general support to the women and children who reside in shelter: 

• helped a client her medications
• helped a client take her child’s temperature
• put new sheets on the beds for an incoming family
• assisted a group of clients in working out a laundry schedule

Advocate answers the hotline.
Photo by nota @ sxc.hu

In the midst of all of that, I answered the 24-hour hotline, which is where most women first access Hope House services.  The woman on the hotline told me that her husband is verbally and physically abusive towards her. Her husband has been drinking tonight and she knows that she and her children are not safe staying at home. We make arrangements to bring them in to shelter.

When this woman and her children arrived in shelter, I made sure they had something to eat, and that they had no immediate medical needs. Then, I completed an intake process with her where I gathered general information about her situation and needs.

Tomorrow, I will meet with her again to provide her with information about power and control, red flags, the cycle of domestic violence, and safety planning.

I spend the next couple of hours of my shift meeting individually with the women who are assigned to my caseload.  During these individual meetings, I assist the women in recognizing their personal strengths and in setting goals. I provide a variety of resources and information to empower the women to make progress towards their personal goals.

No two days are ever the same in shelter, so I have learned to be very flexible. Although working as a Women’s Advocate can at times be a busy job, being able to provide support and assistance to the women in shelter is my passion. It’s most definitely a rewarding job!

Back to School

Photo by gugacurado @ sxc.hu

It seems like just yesterday I was writing about how kids spend their summer days in shelter and now it’s back to school time. As we say goodbye to summer, we welcome the fall and the new schedules that it brings to shelter.

When a family comes to shelter, one of the first tasks is to enroll the children in school. When deciding on where her children will go to school, Mom has to weigh the risks of the children attending their home school versus the challenges that come with starting in a new school.

It is so important to get the children into a routine and get their schedules in order. This structure can help the children feel “normal” and feel like they have some control. Living in a home where there is domestic violence can create chaos and a feeling of being out of control. It’s amazing how normalcy, routine and structure can really help a child to feel calm and more relaxed in their environment. 

Photo by hvaldez1 @ sxc.hu

When kids are dealing with trauma and violence at home, they often struggle in school, finding it hard to focus and stay on top of things. Once in shelter, there is a focus on helping to make school a priority and addressing any educational issues that children are facing.

We always have a need for volunteer tutors to help the children get caught up and to work with those who are struggling and facing challenges. If you can spare some time to help a child with their schoolwork, please contact Gretchen at 816-257-9342 or gschmitz@hopehouse.net.

United Way

Greater Kansas City United Way (GKCUW) will be kicking off their 2011 campaign on September 8^th. Hope House is proud to be a United Way partner agency. We recognize the good work done through United Way, and we will be involved in the campaign as well.

2011 United Way Campaign Focus

For this year’s campaign, GKCUW will focus on education, income and health.

• Education strategies will focus on helping children and youth attain their full potential.
•  Income strategies are helping people achieve financial independence and stability.
• Health strategies are focused on helping people and their neighborhoods to be safe, healthy and thriving.
• All strategies are focused on ensuring that people in Greater Kansas City have all the building blocks for a good life.

How United Way Helps Hope House

We do our part to work with United Way to ensure they have a successful campaign. If their campaign is successful, then the agencies they fund will be more successful as well.

Approximately 6% of our budget comes from United Way, funding our shelter and our therapeutic services. We agree with United Way that when people are safe they have a better chance of being healthy and thriving.

How Hope House Helps United Way

Our partnership includes participating in the United Way Day of Caring and assisting with the campaign. We have our own internal campaign with our staff members and we will go out to the community to talk with other businesses. If your company doesn’t do an internal campaign I encourage you to start one this year.

If your business does a United Way campaign, you can request a speaker from Hope House. We would be honored to come to your place of work to talk about what we do and how your dollars help us meet our goals. If you’re interested, please contact Gretchen at gschmitz@hopehouse.net or 816-257-9342.

It Can’t Happen To Me

Photo by Ben Earwicker, Garrison Photography
www.garrisonphoto.org/sxc

Many people tell me they have never known anyone who was a victim of domestic violence.  Yet, the statistics tell us that nearly three out of four (74%) Americans personally know someone who is or has been abused by their partner.  

The sheer volume of people who have had domestic violence in their lives makes it difficult for us to not know someone who been affected by domestic violence.

The Statistics

The statistics show that one out of every four women will at some point in her life be impacted by domestic violence. That’s 25% of the population! It’s staggering to think of the number of people who "know” domestic violence; who have lived it and experience it on a daily basis. With numbers like that, it’s amazing to me that so many people think it could never happen to them.

All Demographic Groups Are At Risk

When you look at the statistics about domestic violence you’ll see that it affects everyone.  Some groups are more at risk, but no one is immune.

·         Women ages 20-24 are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.

·         Women of all races are about equally vulnerable to violence by an intimate partner.

·         Intimate partner violence affects people regardless of income. However, people with lower annual income (below $25K) are at a 3-times higher risk of intimate partner violence than people with higher annual income (over $50K).

·         On average between 1993 and 2004, residents of urban areas experienced highest level of nonfatal intimate partner violence.

·         Approximately one in five female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner.

We all need to be aware of what domestic violence is, how it occurs, and what to do if you find yourself in a violent situation, because unfortunately, it can happen to anyone.

If you or someone you know needs help, please call our 24/7 hotline at 816-461-HOPE (4673) or visit the Hope House website.

Statistics from the Domestic Violence Resource Center website.

The Safety Net

If you look on our website or in our brochures, you’ll see:

“Hope House services form a safety net of prevention, education and support for more than 10,000 victims of domestic violence every year.”

So what does the term “safety net” mean?

What’s a Safety Net?

Photo by Stephanie Bennett Vogt
@ spaceclear.com.

When a woman enters shelter, her life has just taken a drastic turn. A million thoughts are swirling through her head:

•          How will the kids get to school?
•          Where will they get clothing to wear to school?
•          Where am I going to live now?
•          I was a stay-at-home mom. How will I survive without an income?

Hope House provides a web of services - a “safety net” - to keep her afloat so her life doesn’t continue to spiral downward.

Services Included in the Safety Net

The safety net includes services to handle immediate needs like:

•          A safe place to sleep
•          Help figuring out how she’ll get to work/the kids will get to school
•          Clothing and personal items
•          Three meals a day

But it also covers long-term needs such as:

•          Help finding a place to live
•          Help with legal issues like divorce or custody
•          Therapy

This list doesn’t begin to list all the services available. Our advocates also help our clients navigate the maze of services available from other agencies like applying for government assistance, or getting mental health counseling.

Photo by Lisa Truscott @
aerialartiste.com

Think Trapeze Artist at the Circus

Just like the trapeze artist at the circus whose life depends on the safety net that will catch them if they fall, Hope House services are here to keep a woman from hitting rock bottom while she transitions from being a victim to being a survivor.

Kids and Philanthropy

Chandler

One of the best parts of my job is getting to meet our donors and connecting with those who care about our work as much as I do. I really love to meet the young people who are learning about philanthropy in a very real way.

Kids learn about us through their schools, many which are now requiring a certain number of community service hours for graduation.  For some, it’s a family tradition. Others just want to give back and choose us as their recipient. We work to accommodate the interests of each of these kids. Most often, they come up with something really special on their own.

One such young person is Chandler, whose grandmother gives him $10 for every “A” he receives in the school year. Last year he saved all the “A” money he received, $300 to be exact, and he went out and bought items from our Urgent Needs List to donate to us. We were thrilled when he brought in mountains of toilet paper, diapers and paper towels, among other items.

We have had several kids who asked their birthday party guests for a donation to Hope House in lieu of gifts. How special to be able to put others’ needs before your own, especially on your birthday. I know that is so difficult to do at any age.

Playground built by Justin

We’ve had boys working on their Eagle Scout projects that choose wonderful projects at Hope House. Most recently we had Justin, 15, who completely renovated our playground on the Independence campus. He turned a blank space into a wonderful play space for the kids in shelter.

Young people are able to connect with others in need in ways that are so uplifting and truly inspirational to me. I’ve realized that you’re never too young to want to help others, and it’s our job to help these kids attain their goals to help those in need.

Help Us Win Pepsi Refresh Project

People are buzzing and there is great excitement at Hope House as we have made it into the voting round for the Pepsi Refresh Project. We have tried for months to get our project in with no success, until this month!

What is Pepsi Refresh? Pepsi is funding ideas that “refresh your world”. They say if we can dream it, submit it and get enough votes, they will help make it happen.

We hope to win $50,000 to help provide free legal services to domestic violence victims. We ask that everyone vote for us and share this information with your friends.

You can vote three ways every day:

1) Through this link: http://pep.si/kJS4mL You can log in through your Facebook account, or sign up for a Pepsi account. Or do both and get more votes!

2) Scan this QR code with your smartphone to easily vote by text (download the reader for free from your app store). Or text 107076 to 73774. (Standard text messaging rates apply.)

3) Get Power Votes on specially-marked Pepsi products. Click on “Power Vote for this idea” on the Hope House Pepsi Refresh page. Enter your power code and get up to 100 extra votes.

We need to be one of the top 10 vote-getters in our category to win $50,000. Please support us and vote every day throughout June to help us give our clients the support

Donations and Urgent Needs

Can you imagine the amount of supplies it takes to meet the needs of 104 women and children every day? Well, I can tell you it takes a lot!

We do not charge our clients for our services or for the supplies they receive. It is important that they use their resources for things like school, rent, and gas to get work, etc. They do not need to be worrying about buying things like deodorant, toothpaste and shampoo.

Thankfully, neither do we. We do not have to budget for toilet paper, paper towels, diapers and other household needs. If we did, we know we would have to cut some of our services to accommodate the increase in the expenses.

Our supply of household items comes to us in a variety of ways. Individuals and groups will hold drives to bring in needed items; others have hosted parties with admission being a package of toilet paper or bottle of shampoo. Others learn of our needs through our Urgent Needs List, an email list of people who have asked to be alerted when we have an urgent need. We send out the need and instantly people respond. If you'd like to be added to our Urgent Needs List, please email us at blog@hopehouse.net.

We have several easy ways for you to help us get the supplies we need:

1) Go to our wishlist on http://www.amazon.com/ and have the items shipped to us. Seach for Hope House under Wish List, then look for our familiar logo. 

2) Go to our website http://www.hopehouse.net/ and click on the Donate Now button. We will purchase the items ourselves with your donation.

3) Send/bring us gift cards for WalMart, Target or any place that sells the items we need.

Here are some items that are currently urgent needs. This list is also found on our website and is updated as needs change.

Paper Towels
Toilet paper
Adult cold medicine (all kinds)
Pillows
Towels

Wash cloths

Combs/brushes

Size 4 diapers

Ethnic hair care products

We are extremely grateful to the members of our communities who give so generously to help us meet these needs. Without all of you, we would have to turn our resources to these daily needs, rather than focusing on the services which help people deal with the pressing issues in their lives.

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

 

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. Many people don’t realize that domestic violence impacts not only adults, but young people as well.

One in three teens will experience violence in their dating relationships. The abuse experienced by teens is similar to the abuse experienced by adults, including physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, and intimidation. Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence, at a rate almost triple the national average.

Teens are not always able to talk about the abuse to trusted adults in their lives. This can be due to a variety of factors including not acknowledging the signs of abuse, fear, embarrassment and fearing they wouldn’t be believed.

A teen’s confusion about the law and the desire for confidentiality are two of the most significant barriers to young victims of violence seeking help.

We must work together to bring attention to the issue of teen dating violence. To do that, we need to provide resources and education to the young people who are experiencing violence. We need to understand the dynamics of domestic violence, recognize it when it happens, and offer interventions. These steps are essential if we are to ever break the cycle.

For more resources regarding teen dating violence there are many websites available. Statistics for this blog came from http://www.teendvmonth.org/. You can also visit http://www.breakthecycle.org/ and the Hope House website http://www.hopehouse.net/ for more information.

The Holiday Store

Struggling through leaving a relationship and working through the painful issue of domestic violence is never easy, but it can be especially difficult at the holiday times.

We provide a Holiday Store at each of our locations so that both shelter and outreach clients are able to “shop” for gifts for their children and children get to “shop” for their mom. This is a great way for the moms to make the holiday special for their children, even if it is different from their past celebrations.

We help both the moms and the kids work through the difficulties and begin the healing process, and encourage them to take a moment to have fun and not worry about all of the stressors in their lives. If we can help make the holiday special, and make them feel like life is back to “normal”, then we have accomplished a lot.

Creating new traditions and new beginnings is a wonderful way to celebrate the season. So if you are looking for ways to get involved this holiday season, think of Hope House and the clients we serve. We would love to have you help us in giving our clients the special holiday season they so deserve.  

For ideas on how to help, visit our website www.hopehouse.net (click on Ways to Give, then Donate Items) or call 816-461-4188, ext. 0 and ask for our holiday wish list.