A Day In the Life: Women's Advocate

Our guest blogger today is Lori, a Hope House Women's Advocate.

As a Women’s Advocate here at Hope House, I have many different roles.  No day—or hour for that matter—is ever the same. 

Today when I came into work, I spent the first few hours providing general support to the women and children who reside in shelter: 

• helped a client her medications
• helped a client take her child’s temperature
• put new sheets on the beds for an incoming family
• assisted a group of clients in working out a laundry schedule

Advocate answers the hotline.
Photo by nota @ sxc.hu

In the midst of all of that, I answered the 24-hour hotline, which is where most women first access Hope House services.  The woman on the hotline told me that her husband is verbally and physically abusive towards her. Her husband has been drinking tonight and she knows that she and her children are not safe staying at home. We make arrangements to bring them in to shelter.

When this woman and her children arrived in shelter, I made sure they had something to eat, and that they had no immediate medical needs. Then, I completed an intake process with her where I gathered general information about her situation and needs.

Tomorrow, I will meet with her again to provide her with information about power and control, red flags, the cycle of domestic violence, and safety planning.

I spend the next couple of hours of my shift meeting individually with the women who are assigned to my caseload.  During these individual meetings, I assist the women in recognizing their personal strengths and in setting goals. I provide a variety of resources and information to empower the women to make progress towards their personal goals.

No two days are ever the same in shelter, so I have learned to be very flexible. Although working as a Women’s Advocate can at times be a busy job, being able to provide support and assistance to the women in shelter is my passion. It’s most definitely a rewarding job!

Back to School

Photo by gugacurado @ sxc.hu

It seems like just yesterday I was writing about how kids spend their summer days in shelter and now it’s back to school time. As we say goodbye to summer, we welcome the fall and the new schedules that it brings to shelter.

When a family comes to shelter, one of the first tasks is to enroll the children in school. When deciding on where her children will go to school, Mom has to weigh the risks of the children attending their home school versus the challenges that come with starting in a new school.

It is so important to get the children into a routine and get their schedules in order. This structure can help the children feel “normal” and feel like they have some control. Living in a home where there is domestic violence can create chaos and a feeling of being out of control. It’s amazing how normalcy, routine and structure can really help a child to feel calm and more relaxed in their environment. 

Photo by hvaldez1 @ sxc.hu

When kids are dealing with trauma and violence at home, they often struggle in school, finding it hard to focus and stay on top of things. Once in shelter, there is a focus on helping to make school a priority and addressing any educational issues that children are facing.

We always have a need for volunteer tutors to help the children get caught up and to work with those who are struggling and facing challenges. If you can spare some time to help a child with their schoolwork, please contact Gretchen at 816-257-9342 or gschmitz@hopehouse.net.

United Way

Greater Kansas City United Way (GKCUW) will be kicking off their 2011 campaign on September 8^th. Hope House is proud to be a United Way partner agency. We recognize the good work done through United Way, and we will be involved in the campaign as well.

2011 United Way Campaign Focus

For this year’s campaign, GKCUW will focus on education, income and health.

• Education strategies will focus on helping children and youth attain their full potential.
•  Income strategies are helping people achieve financial independence and stability.
• Health strategies are focused on helping people and their neighborhoods to be safe, healthy and thriving.
• All strategies are focused on ensuring that people in Greater Kansas City have all the building blocks for a good life.

How United Way Helps Hope House

We do our part to work with United Way to ensure they have a successful campaign. If their campaign is successful, then the agencies they fund will be more successful as well.

Approximately 6% of our budget comes from United Way, funding our shelter and our therapeutic services. We agree with United Way that when people are safe they have a better chance of being healthy and thriving.

How Hope House Helps United Way

Our partnership includes participating in the United Way Day of Caring and assisting with the campaign. We have our own internal campaign with our staff members and we will go out to the community to talk with other businesses. If your company doesn’t do an internal campaign I encourage you to start one this year.

If your business does a United Way campaign, you can request a speaker from Hope House. We would be honored to come to your place of work to talk about what we do and how your dollars help us meet our goals. If you’re interested, please contact Gretchen at gschmitz@hopehouse.net or 816-257-9342.

It Can’t Happen To Me

Photo by Ben Earwicker, Garrison Photography
www.garrisonphoto.org/sxc

Many people tell me they have never known anyone who was a victim of domestic violence.  Yet, the statistics tell us that nearly three out of four (74%) Americans personally know someone who is or has been abused by their partner.  

The sheer volume of people who have had domestic violence in their lives makes it difficult for us to not know someone who been affected by domestic violence.

The Statistics

The statistics show that one out of every four women will at some point in her life be impacted by domestic violence. That’s 25% of the population! It’s staggering to think of the number of people who "know” domestic violence; who have lived it and experience it on a daily basis. With numbers like that, it’s amazing to me that so many people think it could never happen to them.

All Demographic Groups Are At Risk

When you look at the statistics about domestic violence you’ll see that it affects everyone.  Some groups are more at risk, but no one is immune.

·         Women ages 20-24 are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.

·         Women of all races are about equally vulnerable to violence by an intimate partner.

·         Intimate partner violence affects people regardless of income. However, people with lower annual income (below $25K) are at a 3-times higher risk of intimate partner violence than people with higher annual income (over $50K).

·         On average between 1993 and 2004, residents of urban areas experienced highest level of nonfatal intimate partner violence.

·         Approximately one in five female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner.

We all need to be aware of what domestic violence is, how it occurs, and what to do if you find yourself in a violent situation, because unfortunately, it can happen to anyone.

If you or someone you know needs help, please call our 24/7 hotline at 816-461-HOPE (4673) or visit the Hope House website.

Statistics from the Domestic Violence Resource Center website.

The Safety Net

If you look on our website or in our brochures, you’ll see:

“Hope House services form a safety net of prevention, education and support for more than 10,000 victims of domestic violence every year.”

So what does the term “safety net” mean?

What’s a Safety Net?

Photo by Stephanie Bennett Vogt
@ spaceclear.com.

When a woman enters shelter, her life has just taken a drastic turn. A million thoughts are swirling through her head:

•          How will the kids get to school?
•          Where will they get clothing to wear to school?
•          Where am I going to live now?
•          I was a stay-at-home mom. How will I survive without an income?

Hope House provides a web of services - a “safety net” - to keep her afloat so her life doesn’t continue to spiral downward.

Services Included in the Safety Net

The safety net includes services to handle immediate needs like:

•          A safe place to sleep
•          Help figuring out how she’ll get to work/the kids will get to school
•          Clothing and personal items
•          Three meals a day

But it also covers long-term needs such as:

•          Help finding a place to live
•          Help with legal issues like divorce or custody
•          Therapy

This list doesn’t begin to list all the services available. Our advocates also help our clients navigate the maze of services available from other agencies like applying for government assistance, or getting mental health counseling.

Photo by Lisa Truscott @
aerialartiste.com

Think Trapeze Artist at the Circus

Just like the trapeze artist at the circus whose life depends on the safety net that will catch them if they fall, Hope House services are here to keep a woman from hitting rock bottom while she transitions from being a victim to being a survivor.

The Inner City Myth

Valerie Avore/The Epoch Times

A common myth of domestic violence is that it only happens in the inner city; it doesn’t happen in the suburbs. This myth is very similar to the misconception that it only happens to poor people.

For some, it can be very difficult to believe or acknowledge that something so horrible could be happening in your neighborhood, by people you know and care about. It’s easier to think it only happens in segments of society; to “other” people.

So it’s common to assign it to a group that you are not a part of, whether that be poor, rich, suburban, inner city, white, black, Christian, Muslim, or non-believer—whatever “label” you want to assign so it’s not a part of you and your world.

Unfortunately, domestic violence transcends all worlds so it will intersect with you at some point. It happens everywhere, to every group of society.  We can’t ignore it, and we can’t assign it to someone else so we can avoid addressing it.

If we are ever going to end the cycle of violence, we must first acknowledge it and then address the underlying problems.

Hope House has two locations in the suburbs of Kansas City.  We are full every day with people from suburbs across the metro area. It IS happening here.

The Lee’s Summit location was started after three women were murdered by their husbands. How many homicides does Lee’s Summit have in one year? Not many— most years, none. To have three in one year was eye opening for many.  It moved a group of people to start the fundraising so we could have a shelter in the city to address the need.

We must see it as it is, acknowledge it, and work toward solutions. It takes a village to raise a child and it takes the entire community to stop the violence. Together, we can break the cycle and work toward a future where there is no domestic violence.

Hope & All That Jazz

Our largest fundraiser of the year is fast approaching. Hope and All That Jazz will be held at the Muehlebach Hotel on August 20. Festivities start at 5:30.

The event activities include fabulous food and drinks, the opportunity to bid on some of the best auction items you'll ever see, dancing to the sounds of the Kerry Strayer band, and an opportunity to spend time with friends and learn more about Hope House.

It isn't too late to join us! For ticket and sponsorship information, go to the Jazz page on our website, or you can contact Libby at 816-257-9334 or lconnor@hopehouse.net.

For the first time, we're starting the Jazz festivities a couple of weeks early! We've set up an online auction which features unique items like you’ll find at our Jazz event such as:

• A Danger Zone Flying Experience where you’ll be flying the plane in dog fight. Hello, Maverick?

• An autographed Eagles Greatest Hits album, signed by all the original band members.

• Sporting gear like a Nike golf shirt and a wind jacket that has sleeves that detach at two different lengths.

The online auction continues through 5PM CDT on August 16. Get registered now and join in the fun! 

The proceeds from the online auction and the Jazz event support our daily operations. The dollars raised are crucial for us to maintain the level of programming we currently offer. By participating in this event, you could have a great time, and help to save lives. What could be better than that? We look forward to seeing you there.

Lethality Assessment Program

In May we were able to work with the Safe Family Coalition to deliver cookies to all of the police officers that have been a part of the Lethality Assessment Project (LAP) as a way to say thank you for their commitment to those who are impacted by domestic violence.

The LAP was started as a pilot project with the cities of Lee’s Summit, Grandview, Raytown and Kansas City police departments. The police partner with the local domestic violence agency in carrying out the program, which is based on research on lethality for battered women.

The program is simple: when police respond to a domestic violence scene, they ask the victim a series of research-based questions. The way the victim answers these questions can determine the level of lethality for that victim. Based on the answers, the police officers will talk to the victims about safety and the concern that they have for the victim.

The officers then call our hotline and speak to an advocate with the goal of getting the victim to speak to the advocate. They will safety plan, discuss resources - such as shelter - and to make a follow up appointment to further discuss the situation.

The program has worked extremely well. The pilot project ended in October of 2009, but all participating departments have continued with the program. We have also added the Blue Springs police department to the list of participating departments.

We know that only 3% of domestic violence homicide victims had ever availed themselves to services prior to their deaths. We, as DV programs, have worked to reach this group of victims but have not had much success. Through this program, we are able to reach this very high risk group of people.

We are grateful for the participation of all of the police departments, the administration and the officers that complete the surveys. With the support of the officers on the street, we are working to save lives.