Response to Governor LePage's Letter Regarding Ray Rice

I would like to applaud Maine’s Governor, Paul LePage for his stance on domestic violence. Governor LePage sent a letter to NFL Commission Roger Goodell telling him the punishment given to the Baltimore Ravens running back sends the message that it's OK "for professional athletes to beat women, just for the sake of ratings."

He goes on to say that "Taking thugs and wife-beaters off the field may be bad for business, but you are playing games with people's lives," said LePage, who was beaten by his father when he was young and has made domestic abuse prevention and awareness a priority of his administration.

I was extremely disappointed when I heard of the punishment given to Ray Rice for knocking his then fiancé unconscious in an elevator.  I only know what I have read in the papers but what I read is text book domestic violence and I know that the only way we will ever stop domestic violence is to hold the perpetrators accountable. Domestic violence is about power and control and in this situation it feels very much like Ray Rice continues to have power and be in control and his work place is enabling it to continue. The justice system response in my opinion was light and more of a slap on the wrist, not what you would expect for someone who beat someone so brutally. It was so difficult to watch the video—I wasn’t able to watch it all the way through.

 I have to wonder what would have happened if it would have been a stranger or perhaps another team member he knocked unconscious. Would the punishment have been the same? I think not. From my experience it would have been severe but when we are talking about a spouse or intimate partner, for some reason, in our society the guidelines change and it isn’t as much of a problem or, worse yet, it is her fault. I have said this numerous times when it comes to domestic violence, we as a society are so quick to blame the victim rather than hold the perpetrator accountable. I find this appalling.

I would hope that we could come to a place where we say no matter who you are, no matter what your position, no matter how much money you make it, doesn’t matter. If you are a perpetrator of domestic violence you should be held accountable for your crime. Remember, domestic violence is a crime, it isn’t a family issue, and it isn’t the victim’s fault. Responsibility lies with the one committing the crime.

I ask that we all work together to end this vicious crime and keep people safe. Hold perpetrators accountable through the justice system and in our policies in the work place.

Domestic violence is not ok, period.

Read more here.

January is Stalking Awareness

Anyone who has been the victim of stalking can tell you, it’s a terrifying experience and a reprehensible way of controlling a person—instilling a sense of fear and powerlessness.

Just think of it… someone watching you at any given moment, following you or lying in wait, threatening you… it can keep you off balance, anxious and full of mistrust. In fact, 46% of stalking victims say that fear of not knowing what’s next impacts them deeply. And it is further terrorizing not know if it will ever stop.

Stalking impacts victims in every area of life—1 in 8 lose time from work and 1 in 7 move as a result—affecting them financially and professionally. Emotionally, it takes a tremendous toll—anxiety, insomnia and severe depression are all prevalent among those being stalked.

Although victims are frequently targeted by someone they know—66% of female and 41% of male victims are stalked by current of former partners—sometimes a person has no idea who the perpetrator is.

Stalking affects 1 in 6 women and 1 in 19 men in the United States. It’s becoming prevalent. A month of awareness allows us the opportunity to get information out about this menacing crime, learn more about it and give access to some useful resources.

Some important facts:

·         Women are nearly 3 times more likely to be stalked than men.

·         The majority of stalkers are male.

·         11% of stalking victims have been stalked for 5 years or more.

·         78% of stalkers use more than one means of approach.

·         Almost 1/3 of stalkers have stalked before.

·         1 in 5 cases of stalking includes the use of a weapon.

Facts around stalking and intimate partner femicide (deaths of women):

·         76% of intimate partner femicide victims have been stalked by their intimate partner.

·         67% had been physically abused by their intimate partner.

·         89% of femicide victims who had been physically assaulted had also been stalked in the 12 months before their murder.

·         54% of femicide victims reported stalking to police before they were killed by their stalkers.

So what can you do?

In Missouri, stalking is a crime. Keep detailed records of stalking incidents. Record keeping can make all the difference in prosecuting stalking cases and can legally help to differentiate between stalking and harassment. Stalking is not just a one-time event—it’s an accumulation of events. Other things to consider:

·         Try to make sure you have witnesses and keep track of who they are.

·         Make a safety plan to help reduce your risk of harm.

·         Consider your online visibility and decide if you need to make changes to be more private.

·         Give pictures of the stalker to security and friends at work/school/etc.

·         Tell your supervisors—they have a responsibility to keep you safe at work.

·         File police reports as incidents happen.

Stalking is a serious offense and can escalate into violence. If you think you’re in immediate danger call 911 or the National Stalking Resource Center hotline: 1-800-FYI-CALL.

For more information and tools, please visit victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center.

Statistics:  victimsofcrime.org

Marti Hill

I had the extreme pleasure of meeting a very courageous, warm and inviting woman. Joyce Layman Blackburn introduced me to Marti Hill so I could hear her story and offer resources for their joint project the Living Proof website.

Marti is an amazing woman. She has survived so much and has become a pioneer and advocate for those who are experiencing trauma, pain and loss. Marti’s story is not one of domestic violence, but she has so much to say that can impact those who are experiencing domestic violence. Her desire is to help everyone and she realized that she couldn’t do it alone, so she set about gathering people around her who could help. She had a dream to use her trauma and victimization and turn it into something positive that would help inspire others and promote healing.

Marti was viciously attacked on September 8, 2010 by Brian Pennington. Brian had done home repair work for Marti and Marti’s mother. Early one morning, Brian drove to Marti’s house on the pretense of showing her some more work that he found still needed to be done on her house. Instead, he viciously attacked her and left her for dead in the basement of her home.

It is a miracle that Marti is alive. Her injuries were so severe that, if it hadn’t been for her caring co-workers who became concerned when she didn’t show for work and called for a wellness check, Marti most likely would not be alive today. Marti has embraced this miracle and is committed to creating something positive out of a horrific situation. I applaud Marti for her courage, her commitment to helping others and her willingness to turn tragedy into hope.

Marti’s story was highlighted on CBS 48 Hours on February 2, 2013. She has much to offer to those who are in need or who want to be inspired by her story of survival. To learn more about Marti’s story and who she is, visit her website martihill.com. I know you will be as impressed with Marti as I am.

Awareness Week for Crime Victims and Volunteers

This week we recognize and appreciate two very important groups of people: crime victims and volunteers. During this week we have an opportunity to pause and reflect on those in our country who have been victimized by crime and to honor those who offer service to them.

It seems fitting to me that we should honor these groups during the same week as they seem to go hand in hand, especially at Hope House. We provide vital services to victims of crime, and we could not begin to do what we do without the assistance of volunteers in every aspect of our agency.

The theme for this year's Crime Victims Awareness Week also seems appropriate for us at Hope House: “Reshaping the Future and Honoring the Past”. We are settling into our new Therapy Building, and enjoying the newly renovated Shelter, and Court and Legal Services Building. We are also celebrating the new Community Partnership Building. There we are creating new relationships with our community volunteers and offering them a place to give of their talents and services.

As we strive to do every day, we will continue to honor and serve the individuals who have been victimized as they work to put their lives back together. We will continue to be thankful for the wonderful and committed volunteers who help us provide life saving services every day. We couldn’t, nor would we want to, do it without them.

Both groups of individuals enlighten us and enrich us through their experiences and their strengths. We honor them and continue our commitment to break the cycle of domestic violence.

National Crime Victims' Rights Week

April 18th-24th is National Crime Victim’s Rights Week. Started in 1981, National Crime Victims’ Rights Week (NCVRW) has brought much needed attention to the victims of crime, their families and the professionals who serve them.

Domestic violence is a crime, as we all know. This week of recognition and support to crime victims is very important to Hope House as a way to honor and recognize the journey of all of those who have been impacted by crime.

This year’s theme—“Crime Victims’ Rights: Fairness. Dignity. Respect”, are themes that we at Hope House work toward every day. We work to ensure that every victim that comes into our services feels they have been treated with fairness, dignity and respect, from us as a service provider.

These are fundamental rights that everyone should have but especially those who have been traumatized and victimized. This week is an opportunity for the nation to reflect on those who have been victimized and work to address disparities in the system to ensure that the victimization doesn’t continue as they begin the process of recovery.

In Eastern Jackson County we are fortunate to work with dedicated and caring professionals such as:

1) Law enforcement, who work to apprehend and charge the perpetrator.
2) The prosecutor, who works to ensure justice through the court process.
3) The health care professional who is working to heal physical injuries.

Each of them have the goal of providing quality, competent services to victims and to work to start the healing process and the road to recovery. It is our priority to put the crime victim’s needs first, to address their needs holistically and to ensure recovery from the victimization.

On our campuses we have visual and daily reminders of the thoughtfulness of others during NCVRW. We have a beautiful water garden where clients can sit, reflect and work toward recovery. That garden started out as a bird bath, but through the work of dedicated individuals and the generosity of many, it now brings beauty to the campus and honors those who have been victims of crime. Every time I see it, I am reminded of the work we do and the commitment and caring of others who made the garden a possibility and made the healing journey one of beauty and peace.

I invite you to take time during this week to reflect on the journey that crime victim’s must make and look for ways to get involved and to help make that journey a bit easier. You can visit our website http://www.hopehouse.net/ or for resource guides specific to crime victim’s week visit http://ovc.ncjrs.gov/ncvrw or http://www.ncvc.org/.