She's Leaving Shelter... Now What?

I am often asked how we help people once they leave shelter. That answer will depend on what level of involvement a client wants to have with us, and what needs she has. We will continue to work with clients as long as we can and they want to receive our support and services.

Any client leaving our shelter can access our group and individual outreach therapy services, for both herself and her children. We are able to offer our Transitional Housing program to some of our clients, which is extremely helpful for those who are facing obstacles related to employment and housing.

If a client is struggling and needs temporary assistance with food, clothing or other necessities, we can help with that, as well. Unfortunately, people sometimes encounter difficult times and just need a helping hand; we are fortunate to be able to assist our clients in those situations and hopefully prevent a crisis from occurring.

We can assist clients leaving shelter with items that will help them set up their homes. We are fortunate to have a caring community that blesses us with donations of furniture and household items. Those items can be passed on to our clients transitioning out of shelter, and those who are in our outreach program.

We will work with clients on an individual basis and try to assist them with whatever their needs are. If we are not able to help them, we will work to find someone that can. We are known for being creative and figuring out solutions to the problems presented.

Emotional Abuse

In an earlier blog I wrote about the different types of physical abuse. Today I would like to focus on emotional abuse.

In my experience, this type of abuse can be extremely devastating to the victim. Contrary to the children’s rhyme, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”, words do and can hurt… and hurt very deeply.

Emotional abuse is a part of the pattern of controlling behavior. This is a particularly vicious way of hurting someone by cutting to the very core of their being.

Many of those who have been victims of domestic violence will tell you that it was the accusations, the name calling, and the demeaning words that really damaged their self esteem. The physical wounds healed, but the emotional scars take much longer.

Emotional abuse causes the victim to question their self worth, their ability to make decisions, their ability to parent their children, and their ability to really trust their perception of the situation.

They start to believe what is being said to them: that they are stupid, they will lose their children, they can’t survive without the abuser, they are ugly. The list goes on and on. They begin to question everything about themselves and their worth and value as a person.

The therapists at Hope House work with the clients on addressing the issue of their low self esteem and help the clients to begin to understand what has happened to them. They work with them to trust themselves and their decisions.

Healing from the wounds of emotional abuse can be a difficult road of recovery but it is wonderful to see someone blossom and become their own person again.

That is our work: to help guide people on their journey of self discovery. Sometimes for the very first time; other times, it is a reclaiming of their lost self. Either way it is an honor for us to accompany them on their journey.

Hope Takes Flight Celebrity Golf Classic

We are looking forward to our upcoming Hope Takes Flight Celebrity Golf Tournament. The tournament is on Monday, May 23rd and we are still seeking sponsors and signing up teams.

The tournament is one of our annual fundraisers with the proceeds supporting our daily operations. Proceeds from our special events support a large portion of our annual budget.

This tournament is an opportunity for people to help Hope House but have fun at the same time. In my opinion, that is the best of all worlds: to help while having fun.

We start the day with brunch and then golfing on a wonderful course. Each team has a local celebrity join them in the festivities.

When they are finished on the course, they head in to the club house for more food and an opportunity to bid on items in our silent auction. Of course, it wouldn’t be a tournament without prizes for the top three winning teams!

If you haven’t joined us at this event, now is the time. It was a sell out last year, so don’t wait too long or you might miss out.

Teams and sponsorships can be purchased on our website. If you have questions, feel free to contact Libby at 816-257-9334 or lconnor@hopehouse.net.

Grand Opening Celebration

Our grand opening celebration is almost here. On Friday we will celebrate the transformation of our Independence campus, and the hard work and accomplishments of so many.

Our campaign included constructing a new Therapy building and renovating the four existing buildings on our campus. What an incredible change. The campus is absolutely beautiful and we are so excited about all of the services we will be able to provide our clients.

The therapy building includes three group rooms that are large enough to accommodate the growing number of clients seeking our therapy services. It includes three observation rooms to monitor students and interns in their work with our clients.

The building also includes a workout room and large space for kids to play when they are not able to be outdoors. We are so excited to be able to focus on the physical health of our clients and allow for opportunities that we have not been able to provide previously.

Our shelter was completely remodeled. It’s an absolutely beautiful space for the clients to live in as they recover from the trauma that they have experienced.

The old therapy building has a completely new function - it now houses our Community Partnership Building, which includes a medical/dental room, as well as a salon. We can now provide a well-equipped space for our community partners to offer their services to our clients, helping them to address their many needs.

We are thrilled to be at this juncture of our journey and are so grateful to everyone who has helped us to get here.

What Is Abuse?

I am very aware of how differently that question can be answered depending on who is answering and their frame of reference. I want to spend time today talking about physical abuse. This seems to be what most people think about when they think about domestic violence although it is only one form of abuse that domestic violence victims suffer.

The definition of physical abuse in Wikipedia is: abuse involving contact intended to cause feelings of intimidation, pain, injury, or other physical suffering or bodily harm.

Most often when we think of physical abuse we think of some very obvious ways such as hitting, punching, slapping, pushing, and choking. However there are other less thought of forms of physical abuse such as biting, denying needed medical care, depriving a person of sleep, or forcing someone to use drugs or alcohol against their will as well as attempts to drown, exposure to heat and cold, and poison. Unfortunately, the ways that abusers physically abuse their partners makes a long list. The clients that we serve have experienced all of these types of abuse, and more.

What we know from our experience in this work is that the abuse often doesn’t start as physical; it often starts as emotional abuse and then over time progresses into the physical realm. Research also shows that as the relationship continues, the abuse will most likely become progressively worse and intensify in severity. What may start out as a push or slap will most likely progress to shoving, punching and worse.

Much of our work with clients focuses on education and safety planning. We want to put them in the best position to make the necessary decisions about their lives and their future. Understanding the abuse is the first step in moving toward a life free of abuse.

Awareness Week for Crime Victims and Volunteers

This week we recognize and appreciate two very important groups of people: crime victims and volunteers. During this week we have an opportunity to pause and reflect on those in our country who have been victimized by crime and to honor those who offer service to them.

It seems fitting to me that we should honor these groups during the same week as they seem to go hand in hand, especially at Hope House. We provide vital services to victims of crime, and we could not begin to do what we do without the assistance of volunteers in every aspect of our agency.

The theme for this year's Crime Victims Awareness Week also seems appropriate for us at Hope House: “Reshaping the Future and Honoring the Past”. We are settling into our new Therapy Building, and enjoying the newly renovated Shelter, and Court and Legal Services Building. We are also celebrating the new Community Partnership Building. There we are creating new relationships with our community volunteers and offering them a place to give of their talents and services.

As we strive to do every day, we will continue to honor and serve the individuals who have been victimized as they work to put their lives back together. We will continue to be thankful for the wonderful and committed volunteers who help us provide life saving services every day. We couldn’t, nor would we want to, do it without them.

Both groups of individuals enlighten us and enrich us through their experiences and their strengths. We honor them and continue our commitment to break the cycle of domestic violence.

Spring Fling - April 16, 2011

Are you ready to head to Mexico? I know I am and you can join me on Saturday, April 16th as we present Spring Fling, Destination: Mexico.

This is our annual spring casino night which kicks off our event season. We moved the event into April hoping to avoid any chances of snow storms like we encountered last year. I am sure everyone remembers the spring snow storm we had last March? Yes, that was the day of our event and we were so blessed that over 160 people braved the weather and joined us in our festivities!

We will be at it again this year, playing roulette, craps, black jack, bingo and Texas hold ‘em. This year we’re very excited to be adding a giant plinko board and salsa dancing! So, there is something for everyone.

The doors will open at 6:30pm and gaming starts at 7pm. All festivities, including a live auction and prizes, will conclude by 10pm. Once again, the event will be held at the Hilton Garden Inn in Independence, which is exit #17, less than a mile off I-70.

We have wonderful event chairs, Tiffany Goddard and Courtney Goddard-Hawkinson, who are working hard to ensure the event is a huge success.

Sponsorships start at $500 and individual tickets are only $50 each and include a themed-cuisine buffet, gaming cash, two drink tickets and assigned seating. So plan on attending and having a fun filled evening, while helping Hope House provide desperately needed services to those whose lives have been impacted by domestic violence.

Sponsorships, tickets and more information are available on our website. Or you can contact Libby at 816-257-9334 or lconnor@hopehouse.net. We’re looking forward to seeing you on the 16th!