Your Vote Makes All the Difference

Last month, I told you about the Cultivate Wines competition in which Hope House is competing to win $50,000.

Realistically, we're on the path to be a $10,000 winner (placing 2nd through 6th in the voting), which can still have an amazing impact on our operations! With $10,000 we could provide 333 safe nights of shelter, which will protect 4 families of three for 26 days, which is the average length of stay in our shelter.

We've moved up four places in the last week, so your vote makes all the difference.

You can vote every day through June 30 using your Facebook login.  Use this link  http://www.cultivatewines.com/cause/3981/ to get to the voting site.

Please spread the word by forwarding this post or posting to your Facebook page. We have one week left and we can make it, with your help. It takes just a moment a day to make a difference in someone's life! 

Must be 21 to vote in this competition.

Katie Piper Update

2008 and 2011 photos of Katie (from dailymail.co.uk)

One of my very early blogs was about Katie Piper, the young woman who in March 2008 was held captive for 8 hours, and suffered a brutal attack and rape by her boyfriend. As if that wasn’t enough, he then arranged for an accomplice to attack Katie by throwing acid on her face.

I wondered how this amazing woman was doing more than three years later. I wasn’t surprised to learn that she has done amazingly well. For someone who at one point begged her parents to kill her, she has come a long way.

She has been an inspiration to other burn survivors by setting up her own foundation, The Katie Piper Foundation: www.katiepiperfoundation.org.uk  dedicated to helping and supporting other burn survivors. She has recently released an autobiography called Beautiful.

She has her own TV special called My Beautiful Friends where she interviews other burn survivors about their experiences. Katie has won several awards:

• She was named winner of the 'Courage Award' at the Pride of Andover Awards in October 2010; then, on October 6 she was announced as winner of the publicly voted 'Most Inspirational' prize at the Inspiration Awards for Women.
• Katie won the "Women to Watch: Inspiration" award at Red magazine's "Red's Hot Women Awards" in 2010.
• In February 2011, Katie: My Beautiful Face won the "Best Documentary Programme" award at the Broadcast Awards; Piper attended to collect the prize alongside the film-makers.
• Piper was awarded the Sainsbury's Women of the Year "You Can" Award at the Women of the Year Awards 2011, held in October 2011.

What an amazing woman, to have survived and triumphed. She is courageous and has turned her life into a crusade to help others, while still healing from the abuse she endured through the rape, beating, and the acid attack.

She is truly an inspiration to others and shows that you can move from victim to survivor. I wish her the absolute best and hope she continues to heal and thrive. 

Are Clients Abusing the System?

This week’s blog is about another common myth I hear when I talk to people about the services at Hope House.  I often get asked if the people in shelter are really in need, or are they taking advantage of the system? This conversation is often in reference to those who are receiving state assistance and food stamps.

I find myself taken aback when asked this, even though I’ve heard it many times. My first response is always to invite that person to shelter so they can see firsthand what we do, and to see that shelter life is not easy, glamorous, or desirable. The women who come to shelter have no other resources available to them.  They are truly at the end of their road, and not sure what the next day is going to bring.

I’m amazed at how resourceful and adaptable people can be when faced with dire circumstances. I often wonder how I would respond if I were in a similar situation.  I am not sure I would have the strength to survive the challenges these women do every day.

I’m so proud and honored to be able to work with survivors of domestic violence. I love witnessing the transformation that can take place when someone is given the opportunity to rest, and collect their thoughts.

I admire the resourcefulness and the ingenuity I have seen as clients work through their issues and solve their problems. With time, support, encouragement and a helping hand, it’s amazing what transformations can take place. Once on their feet again, they are able to thrive on their own.

I’m glad we’re here to help them through their darkest hours and their most vulnerable times. Then we have the opportunity to witness their growth and the beginning of their new life.

Help Hope House Win $50,000

We are excited to have been chosen to participate in an online competition to win $50,000 through the "Cultivate Wines: The Give" competition.  You can help Hope House win the top prize by voting every day. The top six programs all win money, so your vote is so important.

The competition runs from May 1 to June 30. With the $50,000 prize money, we will provide 1,666 safe nights of shelter, which will protect 21 families of three for 26 days, which is the average length of stay in our shelter.

Here's a quick video about how The Give works.

You can vote using your Facebook login - no need to register! Please help us protect victims of domestic violence by voting every day.

Please use this link to vote now.

Please spread the word by forwarding this email or posting to your Facebook page. You and your friends can make a difference in someone's life!

Must be 21 to vote in this competition.

Hope House Named Business of the Year

In March I wrote about our nomination for the Res in Motus (Business of the Year) award through the Lee’s Summit Chamber of Commerce. The award is a celebration of business and non-profit contributions to the community.

There are several categories based on business size. All nominees were asked to complete an application for consideration. The application process was intense, but thought provoking.

At the Chamber luncheon in March, it was announced that Hope House was one of the top three nominees for the award. The next step in the multi-step process was an interview with members of the committee.

We were thrilled to meet with three distinguished Lee’s Summit Chamber Business members and to have the opportunity to visit with them about Hope House. We were able to share with them our passion for the work we do and the impact we have on the community, and show them our work first hand.

Then we waited. 

The interview took place in mid-April and the final winners were not announced until the May 18^th Chamber luncheon.  We attended the luncheon and learned that Hope House was the winner in the Sanctimonia (non-profit) category!

 We are so happy to be a part of this community and excited to be the winners of this award.  Our thanks to the Lee’s Summit Chamber of Commerce for this honor, and to Tina Stidham, New Age Graphics, for nominating us.

The Most Common Myth

Don't ask "Why does she stay?" Ask "Why does he do that?"

I have spent some time blogging about common myths about domestic violence.  Here’s the one that is the most frustrating for me to explain and dispel:

"Victims like the abuse, otherwise they would leave."

To me, it’s obvious that women do not like to be abused. They do not enjoy being beaten, called horrible names, and having no control over their lives. 

They do leave.  They do try to end the relationship. Women leave abusive relationships every day. But when they leave, they face many obstacles and challenges, like continued abuse and stalking by their partner.

Last year I shared with you the story of Katie Piper. She broke things off with her boyfriend. He stalked her for days, and then hired someone to attack her with acid. 

It happens a lot: women leave, and then they are stalked and killed.  We have already had more than one domestic violence homicide this year in KC where women were in the process of leaving their abusers. It’s scary to realize that we’re still in the first half of the year.

Rather than asking “Why does she stay?” let’s start focusing on the abuser and his motivations for staying in the relationship. Ask yourself why a man would want to stay in a relationship when he thinks:

• She never does anything right. I'll have to teach her a lesson. 
• She’s always cheating on me. I saw the way she looked at the cashier at the grocery store.
• I just can’t trust her, so I’ll have to put a GPS on her car so I know where she is.

Changing which side of the relationship you’re looking at changes everything, doesn’t it?

Victims of domestic violence do not ask for the abuse. They do not deserve the abuse, and they certainly do not enjoy it. It is a vicious cycle and one that must be stopped. Two of the first steps to ending it are education and availability of services. We are working on addressing both of those issues.

National Violence Survey Results

The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) recently released the results from their first National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS).  The CDC website describes the survey as:

“The survey collects data on past-year experiences of violence as well as lifetime experiences of violence. The 2010 survey is the first year of the survey and provides baseline data that will be used to track trends in sexual violence, stalking and intimate partner violence (IPV). CDC developed NISVS to better describe and monitor the magnitude of these forms of violence in the United States.”

The results of the survey were not surprising, but at the same time frustrating, as it show how desperately our work is still needed. The findings from the 2010 survey show that intimate partner violence, stalking and sexual assault are widespread in our country. The findings highlight the severity of the violence and lifelong health consequences.

• 1.3 million women were raped during the year preceding the survey
• Nearly 1 in 5 women have been raped in their lifetime
• 1 in 6 women have been stalked during their lifetime
• 1 in 4 women have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner
• 1 in 71 men have been raped in their lifetime
• 1 in 19 men have experienced stalking in their lifetime
• 1 in 7 men experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner

The CDC report summarizes what is going on in our country: 

“Overall, lifetime and one year estimates for sexual violence, stalking and intimate partner violence were alarmingly high for adult Americans; with intimate partner violence (IPV) alone affecting more than 12 million people each year. 

Women are disproportionately impacted. They experienced high rates of severe IPV, rape and stalking, and long-term chronic disease and other health impacts such as PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) symptoms. 

NISVS also shows that most rape and IPV is first experienced before age 24, highlighting the importance of preventing this violence before it occurs to ensure that all people can live life to their fullest potential”.

We have a lot of work still to do. Thank you for helping us serve the thousands of people in our metro area that are impacted by these crimes every day. 

To see the full report you can go to www.cdc.gov.