Katie Piper Update

2008 and 2011 photos of Katie (from dailymail.co.uk)

One of my very early blogs was about Katie Piper, the young woman who in March 2008 was held captive for 8 hours, and suffered a brutal attack and rape by her boyfriend. As if that wasn’t enough, he then arranged for an accomplice to attack Katie by throwing acid on her face.

I wondered how this amazing woman was doing more than three years later. I wasn’t surprised to learn that she has done amazingly well. For someone who at one point begged her parents to kill her, she has come a long way.

She has been an inspiration to other burn survivors by setting up her own foundation, The Katie Piper Foundation: www.katiepiperfoundation.org.uk  dedicated to helping and supporting other burn survivors. She has recently released an autobiography called Beautiful.

She has her own TV special called My Beautiful Friends where she interviews other burn survivors about their experiences. Katie has won several awards:

• She was named winner of the 'Courage Award' at the Pride of Andover Awards in October 2010; then, on October 6 she was announced as winner of the publicly voted 'Most Inspirational' prize at the Inspiration Awards for Women.
• Katie won the "Women to Watch: Inspiration" award at Red magazine's "Red's Hot Women Awards" in 2010.
• In February 2011, Katie: My Beautiful Face won the "Best Documentary Programme" award at the Broadcast Awards; Piper attended to collect the prize alongside the film-makers.
• Piper was awarded the Sainsbury's Women of the Year "You Can" Award at the Women of the Year Awards 2011, held in October 2011.

What an amazing woman, to have survived and triumphed. She is courageous and has turned her life into a crusade to help others, while still healing from the abuse she endured through the rape, beating, and the acid attack.

She is truly an inspiration to others and shows that you can move from victim to survivor. I wish her the absolute best and hope she continues to heal and thrive. 

The Most Common Myth

Don't ask "Why does she stay?" Ask "Why does he do that?"

I have spent some time blogging about common myths about domestic violence.  Here’s the one that is the most frustrating for me to explain and dispel:

"Victims like the abuse, otherwise they would leave."

To me, it’s obvious that women do not like to be abused. They do not enjoy being beaten, called horrible names, and having no control over their lives. 

They do leave.  They do try to end the relationship. Women leave abusive relationships every day. But when they leave, they face many obstacles and challenges, like continued abuse and stalking by their partner.

Last year I shared with you the story of Katie Piper. She broke things off with her boyfriend. He stalked her for days, and then hired someone to attack her with acid. 

It happens a lot: women leave, and then they are stalked and killed.  We have already had more than one domestic violence homicide this year in KC where women were in the process of leaving their abusers. It’s scary to realize that we’re still in the first half of the year.

Rather than asking “Why does she stay?” let’s start focusing on the abuser and his motivations for staying in the relationship. Ask yourself why a man would want to stay in a relationship when he thinks:

• She never does anything right. I'll have to teach her a lesson. 
• She’s always cheating on me. I saw the way she looked at the cashier at the grocery store.
• I just can’t trust her, so I’ll have to put a GPS on her car so I know where she is.

Changing which side of the relationship you’re looking at changes everything, doesn’t it?

Victims of domestic violence do not ask for the abuse. They do not deserve the abuse, and they certainly do not enjoy it. It is a vicious cycle and one that must be stopped. Two of the first steps to ending it are education and availability of services. We are working on addressing both of those issues.

Katie Piper's Story

I found myself once again watching 20/20 on a Friday evening, this time without my daughter. The story was too graphic and painful for her, so she chose to sit this one out.

The story was of Katie Piper, a young woman in her 20s living in London. She was a model and a budding TV presenter. She was enjoying her life, her job, and the successes she was having. She met a young man, Danny, and they began dating. It was then her world fell apart.

In retrospect she saw the red flags were there immediately. He was possessive, jealous, controlling, easily angered, and wanted to move very quickly in the relationship. One evening he took her to a hotel room and brutally raped and abused her for over eight hours. She was only able to leave after she convinced him that they could still be a couple. She was so frightened by what had happened she didn’t leave her “flat” for two days and didn’t talk to anyone.

Danny bombarded her with emails and phone calls. She finally agreed to leave the flat to go to an internet café to get an email he had sent her. What she didn’t know at the time was that Danny was on the phone with Stefan Sylvestre, giving him a description of Katie. Stefan met Katie on the street and threw a cup of sulfuric acid in her face.

Katie survived the attack, which happened March 31, 2008. She has endured countless surgeries and pain so severe that at one point she begged her mother to kill her. She endured the trial of Danny and was grateful when he was given two life prison sentences; one for arranging the attack, the other for the rape.

She had peace of mind for now that he couldn’t hurt her again, as he will serve at least 16 years. Her sentence, however, is for life. She will never be “over” the attack. She will always have scars and physical injuries that will need treatment. The fear doesn’t ever really go away.

Katie was so courageous in telling her story. Her story is horrific and the damage done to this young woman was beyond imagination. But she did survive! As did her will and her determination. She has made amazing progress in her physical recovery as well as her emotional recovery. She is an amazing young woman who has been through more than anyone should ever have to endure.

I am thankful for her telling her story, as hard as it was to watch and comprehend. She is a survivor and an inspiration for all who have been victimized by someone who was supposed to care about them. She has given me continued hope and strengthened my determination to continue the quest of ending the violence.

To read the story or watch the video:
http://abcnews.go.com/2020/KatiePiper/katie-piper-shares-hopes-resolutions-2010/story?id=9511551