Do You Know a DV Victim?

Are your sister and niece
victims?

Can you tell by looking at someone that they are or have been a victim of domestic violence? Absolutely not. Just as you can’t look at someone and know where they are from, or what they do for a living.

Survivors of domestic violence often survive alone and in the privacy of their own homes. It can be so difficult to share their pain and the difficult reality of their family life with others.

Those who have been victimized often feel a sense of shame and embarrassment. To me, the last person who should feel embarrassed is the victim. The one perpetrating the abuse is the one who should be riddled with guilt and shame, but too often that is not the case.

Is your co-worker being
abused?

So, how do we know who is being victimized? It’s not that we want to know out of some perverse sense of wanting all the gory details, but from the place of how can I help? What can I do to make their situation better? How do I intervene? What can I say to them? 

These are all questions I hope that everyone is asking themselves about their loved ones and friends. I encourage you to:

1. Visit our website and learn more about the services Hope House offers so you can share this information. 
2. Visit loveisnotabuse.com, sponsored by the Liz Claiborne Company. It has all kinds of educational information including warning signs to look for.
3. Call our hotline at 816-461-HOPE (4673) any time day or night. Our advocates can give you advice on how to talk to and help someone you suspect is being abused.
4. Better yet, encourage the victim/survivor to call us. We won’t try to make them do anything they don’t want to do. We won’t call the police or insist that they come in to shelter. We’re here to help, even if that’s only lending a compassionate ear.

Are Battered Women Crazy?



Photo by coloniera2 via sxc.hu

 Many people think they are because they don’t leave right away, they return to the abuser after they have left, or they think that the abuser is going to change. But the short answer to the question is an emphatic “NO”. Battered women do not like the abuse, they do not ask for the abuse, they are not stupid and they are not “crazy”.

Battered women are an extremely resourceful and very strong group of women. They endure so much and figure out a way to survive and cope with what is happening within their families. They carry feelings of shame and hurt, mistrust, lack of hope, low self esteem, and abandonment.

Battered women know better than anyone else how to make a very bad situation one that will work for the time being. When someone doesn’t leave immediately it doesn’t mean she asked for it or that she likes it. What it means is the timing isn’t right for some reason.

Battered women make decisions based on the resources available to them at the time. Hope House works hard to make sure women know about our services and the ways that we can help. We never want “lack of resources” to be a reason that someone stays in the relationship longer.

No, battered women are not “crazy”. They are normal people in incredibly difficult circumstances doing the best they can.