You
just have to turn on your TV set to know that domestic violence is everywhere.
Unfortunately, teens are no exception. February is Teen Dating Violence
Awareness Month—offering the opportunity to learn more on the subject and get
advice about how to speak to teens about it. Educating kids about what teen
dating violence is, how to spot it and what to do about it, can help to keep them
safe and happy, as well as lay the groundwork for well-balanced, healthy
relationships in the future. And, as teen dating violence is a growing problem,
it’s important.
It
may seem shocking to contemplate discussing a subject as dark as domestic
violence with such a young audience, but unhealthy relationships often start
early in life. And, sadly, they can last a lifetime. The numbers are painfully
telling:
- One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a partner they are dating—a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence.
- One quarter of high school girls have been victims of physical or sexual abuse.
- Approximately 70% of college students say they have been sexually coerced.
What is Teen Dating
Violence?
Dating
violence is a pattern of abusive behaviors used to have control and power over
a dating partner. It can be physical (hitting, pinching, shoving, etc.),
emotional (threatening, shaming or bullying behavior or isolation of a partner—keeping
them away from friends and/or family), sexual (forcing sex), or stalking.
Dating
violence doesn’t always happen in person. Increasingly it is electronic
harassment like constant texting or embarrassing posts online. If you find that
violent behaviors are growing in your relationship, it can be very dangerous.
Especially for young people who deal with more peer pressure and are less
experienced in relationships than the average adult.
Once
you know what to look for, patterns of control are easy to spot. Sometimes it
starts as simple teasing or name calling. Some of that might seem quite normal,
but it can quickly become more serious, leading to more controlling or even
violent behavior.
Warning Signs
As
relationships vary so greatly, it’s sometimes difficult to know when a behavior
crosses the line from healthy to unhealthy or when it becomes abusive. Be on
the lookout for these warning signs:
- Checking your cell phone or email without permission
- Constantly putting you down
- Extremely jealous or insecure
- Explosive temper
- Isolating you from family or friends
- Mood swings
- Physically hurting you in any way
- Possessiveness
- Telling you what to do
- Repeatedly pressuring you to have sex
- Pressuring you to send sexually suggestive texts or emails
Why Concentrate on
Young People?
- According to the Bureau of Justice, young women ages 16-24 are most vulnerable.
- Violent behavior typically begins between the ages of 12 and 18.
- The severity of domestic violence is often greater in cases where the pattern of abuse was established in adolescence.
- Violent relationships in adolescence can put victims at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior and further domestic violence.
- Being physically or sexually abused makes teen girls six times more likely to become pregnant and twice as likely to get a STD.
Not happening around you? Not true.
With
one in three teens experiencing violence in their dating relationships, the
need for awareness is strong. And with only 33% of teens in a violent
relationship even telling anyone about the abuse, clearly we need to start the
conversation. If your child isn’t experiencing it personally, chances are they
know someone who is and can be of help given the right information.
Teaching
teens what is healthy and what is not can go a long way in giving them the
tools they need to create healthy relationships that can last them their
lifetimes.
This article appears in the February 2014 issue of Lee's Summit Lifestyle Magazine.
