The Guardian Program

In domestic violence situations, visitation and exchange of children is a very dangerous time. Knowing that the custodial parent is obligated to honor the court order allowing visitation, the abuser often uses the opportunity to continue to stalk, abuse and to terrorize the victim/custodial parent.

Knowing this, Hope House started the Guardian Program in November of 2002. Our program is designed so that visits and exchanges are safe for everyone. The custodial and the non-custodial parents arrive separately, park in separate parking lots, and leave at different times so that there can be no opportunity for abuse or stalking to occur.

The program consists of a Program Coordinator, therapists, and an off-duty police officer who is there to ensure everyone’s safety.

The program has three components:

1) The exchange of children when there is no court order for supervised visits. This most often occurs Wednesday evenings, and/or Friday evenings for weekend visits with the kids returning on Sunday. In exchanges the children are taken from the custodial parent to the non-custodial parent by the staff person; the parents never interact.

2) When the court has ordered the visits to be supervised, the program is able to offer two levels of supervised visits.

     a. The first is less intensive and can be offered in a group setting with other families.

     b. In more severe situations, a judge may order that the non-custodial parent can’t be around any other children. In those situations, the visit would be limited to just the one family.

The Guardian Program has offered safety, support and hope to hundreds of children as they visit with their non-custodial parent. It gives them the opportunity to begin the healing process, and if they desire, to rebuild a relationship with the offending parent; the choice is theirs.

Kids' Birthdays in Shelter

Photograph from pxleyes.wordpress.com

Do you remember what it was like to celebrate your birthday as a child? For some of us there was anticipation of presents; perhaps a party with balloons, streamers and party hats. Of course there was a cake with candles and ice cream, and friends and family taking pictures and singing Happy Birthday.

I believe birthdays are a precious thing and need to be celebrated to the fullest. It is your special day and for 24 hours you get to be reminded of just how wonderful you are.

At Hope House we work very hard to ensure that everyone realizes just how special they are every day, but especially on their birthdays. With the help and generosity of our donors, we have new toys and gifts available so Moms can pick out the perfect presents and wrap them for their birthday child. Kids are able to do the same thing for their moms who are celebrating their special day.

We had a donor that loved birthdays and always made them very special for her children. When she passed, her children set up a fund in her name that is to be used to purchase birthday cakes for kids who are in shelter. This allows these kids the opportunity to blow out the candles on a decorated cake, and have a group of people sing a rousing “Happy Birthday to You”. They get to have a very special moment that is theirs alone.

Metropolitan Family Violence Coalition

One of the great things about being a domestic violence service provider in the Kansas City metro area is being a part of the Metropolitan Family Violence Coalition (MFVC). MFVC is composed of the six domestic violence agencies in the metro area, both in Missouri and Kansas.

All six of the agencies provide domestic violence services, emergency shelter, advocacy, and court advocacy, and all participate in the operation of the shared metro hotline (816-HOTLINE). The hotline is a critical tool for those who are in need to reach a safe and understanding person to talk to about their situation whether they are in immediate crisis or just need someone to listen.

The hotline is shared in order to provide one phone number for people in need to call, so victims do not have to remember six phone numbers in the time of crisis.

In addition to the hotline, the MFVC also offers the BridgeSPAN program which is a comprehensive hospital-based advocacy program. There are over 36 hospitals in the metro area partnering with the DV agencies to offer advocacy and crisis intervention to those patients identified in the hospital as needing services.

The agencies that comprise the MFVC are committed to meeting the needs of those impacted by domestic violence and working in collaboration to best meet those needs. Our goal is to work together, not in competition with each other. Our challenges are often the same so we can share what has worked and what hasn’t, support each other in our struggles and celebrate with each other in our successes.

We strive to not duplicate services but to offer a comprehensive range of services so that no matter where a person is in the metro, one of the agencies will be able to help meet the need.

I feel so fortunate that there are six very committed and dedicated agencies providing a seamless safety net of services to victims in this area. I have been to other areas and it doesn’t appear there is such a comprehensive collaboration working for victims.

It is our hope that someday we can celebrate the end of violence in our community. Until then, we will continue our commitment to provide quality and comprehensive services to those impacted by domestic violence and we will do it together as a group.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)

This photo is a representation only.  It is not an actual client.

Today’s guest blogger is Janet Howard, a therapist at Hope House.

I have been a therapist at Hope House for eight years. About three years ago I discovered the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). In EFT, we use our fingertips and tap on specific meridian points to realign the body’s natural energy centers. This allows the memory to be healed, and the body’s energy to be realigned.

I know it sounds fantastic and something right out of a sci-fi movie, but believe me, if done correctly, healing from painful memories occurs in a matter of minutes.

Free from the emotional pain of the memory, the client can then reorganize their thought processes and move on with their life. Such was the case with Patty*. The first time I met Patty, she appeared to be afraid of taking up too much space. She sat in an almost fetal position.

She avoided eye contact and spoke so softly that I could barely hear her. She fidgeted with her fingers. Her fingernails were so short from biting them that they had scabs. Her eyes were lifeless. Her complexion was pasty, probably due to her latest overdose of medications.

She had been in psychological services since pre-adolescence, and had experienced domestic violence her whole life. Her hospitalizations for suicidal attempts were a normal part of her life. She practiced every type of self destructive behaviors I had ever known. Although she had spent years in therapy, she had never found lasting relief from her painful memories, or self destructive behaviors. She wanted to try EFT.

Over the following months we journeyed through her past and present, putting away old misery, pain, and fear-based ideas. Patty learned new healthy coping skills, and practiced EFT daily. She worked very hard to change, and save, her life.

Several months ago, as Patty sat in my office, we discussed how much she had changed her life. She had confidence and self love. She sat up straight, and had direct eye contact. Her eyes were clear and bright - full of promise and hope. She spoke with assurance and calm certainty. She could face life head on without fear.

She had outgrown her need for therapy in her life. She was enrolled in college, lived in her own apartment, and had a supportive group of friends. She had a future. She had a life.

*names have been changed

Completion of Our Capital Campaign

In December 2009 the Kresge Foundation granted Hope House a $600,000 challenge grant for our Building Hope capital campaign for the construction and renovations to the Independence campus. To qualify for the gift, we had to complete the remaining fundraising for the campaign within one year.

We’re excited to announce that we have successfully satisfied the conditions of the Kresge challenge. This means that we have successfully raised $5,000,000 for our capital campaign and have completed the fundraising portion of the campaign!

The construction on the campus is well underway with the shelter and daycare renovations already completed. Work is underway in the Court and Legal Services Building as well as the Community Partnership Building. The new Therapy building (shown above) has the walls and roof in place so work will not be interrupted with any inclement weather.

Work is progressing along very well and we should be completed with all aspects of the campaign by spring of 2011. We will have a ribbon cutting and grand opening once the work is completed and weather is suitable for an outside gathering.

We are so appreciative of all of the support that we have received from the community that has allowed us to make these improvements so we can continue to provide quality services to our clients.

The Demand is Rising

On September 15^th Hope House once again took part in the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) Census. This is an annual count of adults and children who seek services from U.S. domestic violence shelter programs during a single 24-hour survey period.

In that same 24-hour period last year, the results showed us that Missouri programs:

• served 2,033 victims.
• provided 1,238 victims emergency shelters or transitional housing.
• provided 795 adults and children non-residential assistance and services such as counselling and legal advocacy.
• answered 515 hotline calls.
• educated 1,410 people in prevention trainings.
• turned away 416 requests for service. 

While the number served is truly amazing, in the entirety of 2009 Missouri programs had to turn away more people than they served due to lack of funding/lack of staff.

I suspect that when the numbers for the 2010 census are released in a few months the picture will be worse.  I am anticipating that we will see more turned away, more numbers served, and a greater demand for services.

Hopefully soon we will see a trend in the opposite direction that will find providers with enough funding to increase their capacity to meet the growing need.

If you want to learn more about the census and what is happening across the country, visit the NNEDV website at www.nnedv.org and click on projects. 

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

This month is an opportunity for programs that work with the issue of domestic violence to celebrate those who have survived, mourn those who have died, and increase the awareness of the issue.

It continues to amaze and sadden me that there are people in Eastern Jackson County who have not heard about Hope House and are not aware that the largest provider of domestic violence services in the state of Missouri is located within their community.

We still have a lot of work to do to make sure that everyone who is in need knows we’re here for them. This month is an opportunity for us to spread the word about what we’re doing and engage people in helping to stop the violence.

We’ll spend time at community events and health fairs, and with service organizations and businesses who give us the opportunity to talk about domestic violence and what we are doing to break the cycle.

If you have an opportunity to wear purple during the month of October to show your support of those who have been impacted by domestic violence, please do so. If you would like someone to speak to your group about domestic violence, let us know and we’ll be happy to be there.

As we raise awareness this month, we look forward to the day that we no longer lose a life due to domestic violence.