Stalking Awareness Month

January is Stalking Awareness Month. It is a month dedicated to education and bringing awareness to the issue of stalking.

• 3.4 million people are stalked each year in the United State.
• Intimate partner stalking is the most common type of stalking and the most dangerous.

At the suggestion of the Stalking Awareness website http://www.stalkingawarenessmonth.org/ I googled “track girlfriend” to see what would come up. I was not at all surprised to find websites and articles that give details on how to “track” someone “you love”.   It is very scary to me how easy it is to track someone’s movements. Most often the person doesn't even know they’re being stalked.

Cell phones are an easy and often used way to stalk someone. It is so easy to install a tracking device on a phone without the person even being aware. There are apps available for download and no way for the owner to know it has been installed.

I have read that some shelters across the country are taking clients’ cell phones as they enter shelter. The staff takes the phone apart so any tracking mechanism is disabled.  Abusers have shown up at their location due to the cell phone tracking devices! 

Thank goodness, at Hope House, we have not experienced this issue but we absolutely talk to our clients about technology, the advances that have been made in the past few years, and the various ways that someone can be “tracked”.

Stalking is a very dangerous crime and one that needs to be taken seriously. Most stalking victims know their stalkers. 60% of stalkers have stalked before. This has become a major issue in our society.

I encourage you to visit the website http://www.stalkingawarenessmonth.org/ to learn facts about stalking and ideas on how you can participate in bringing more awareness to the issue.

Go Green

 

How can you have a direct and positive impact on the lives of thousands of women and children you may never meet? By going green, you can give green (funds) to support the daily operations of Hope House.

We have partnered with Global Re-Source Funding (GRF) and we’re delighted to offer the opportunity for businesses, schools, churches and other organizations to collect recyclables to support our services and programs for victims of domestic violence.

By collecting inkjet and laser/toner cartridges, cell phones, laptops, GPS devices, digital cameras and iPods, you will be raising money to help Hope House create a safe environment and supportive services for the thousands of  victims of domestic violence who take advantage of these services each year.

The best part of this program is that you can support Hope House simply by asking for a donation of items (not cash!) that most people discard anyway. Your impact can be substantial. Here’s a partial list of the donation Hope House can receive for your recyclables:

Inkjet cartridge: $4

Toner/laser cartridge: $12

Laptop: $35

Cell phones/iPods: $100

GRF provides free recycle bins and marketing materials. They will deliver the bin(s) to you, and will pick them up when they’re full. It couldn’t be easier for you to help us!

Simply contact Lee at Hope House at 816-257-9363 or lmarlin@hopehouse.net, or go to GRF’s website (http://www.globalre-sourcefunding.com/) to sign up directly.

From all of us at Hope House and Global Re-Source Funding, thank you for going green and giving green (cash, through GRF’s donation back to Hope House!) to support our mission to break the cycle of domestic violence.  

Hope House's 24/7 Hotline

I am often asked how people come into our services and how they learn about all that we offer. The simple answer is they call our confidential 24-hour hotline number. Calling the hotline is often the first step a person takes to reach out to another person. It is frequently the first time that the caller has talked to anyone about what is going on in their home with their partner.

The hotline operators have many resources available to them to discuss with victims, family members or concerned individuals. You do not have to be a victim of domestic violence to call the hotline. If you know or suspect someone is being abused, you can call the hotline for resource and referral information.

When someone calls the hotline, we do not force them to make any decisions. We do not tell them what they should do. We offer resources and information so that the caller can make the best decision for herself. In domestic violence situations the ability to make decisions has been taken away. Our goal is to empower all of our callers to decide for themselves what is right for them, and what they want and need.

Whatever the caller decides, we will support. If she decides not to come into shelter, we make sure she has the information she needs and a safety plan in place. If the time comes that she decides shelter is for her, she will know what to do and will have the tools in place to make it happen.

The Hope House hotline number is 816-461-HOPE. In our last fiscal year we received 5,228 hotline calls. That is an average of 14 calls per day. There is someone from Hope House waiting to help you 24/7.

Talking to Your Teen

With February being Teen Dating Violence Awareness month, I thought it appropriate to discuss the issue of teen dating violence more in depth. In my opinion, it is never too early to talk about relationships and appropriate behaviors in relationships with our children. So, how can adults address these issues with the teens in their lives?

TEENS TURN TO THEIR FRIENDS FOR ADVICE

How can we talk to our teens about dating violence? First we must acknowledge that teens are not going to just come to the adults in their lives to talk.

• One study reported that when female high school students were asked whom they would talk to if someone they date is attempting to control them, insults them, or physically harms them, 86% percent said they would confide in a friend, while only 7% said they would talk to police.1

• 83% of 10th graders surveyed at the 4th Annual Teen Dating Abuse Summit reported that they would sooner turn to a friend for help with dating abuse than to a teacher, counselor, parent or other caring adult.2

• Only 33% of teens who were in an abusive relationship ever told anyone about the abuse.3

ADULTS NEED TO LEAD THE WAY

This says to me that as adults, we need to be prepared to lead the way into these conversations—be prepared to not have all the answers, but be ready to find them if needed. Start the process by gathering information about dating violence. Be aware of the red flags and the signs to look for that indicate your teen could be in trouble. Know the resources available—the teen dating violence hotline number, the Hope House hotline number, and websites specifically geared toward teens. Then start the conversations.

HOW TO TALK TO YOUR TEEN

Ask your teen about their friends and what type of experiences they have had. Some examples of questions you can ask:

• How does your partner talk to you?

• Have they asked you to do anything that made you uncomfortable?

• What are your partner’s expectations in regards to sex?

• Does your partner try to control who you can spend time with when you’re away from them?

As the parent, you’re trying to determine if the relationship is a healthy one or if there are red flags. Even if you know the parents of the partner’s family, don’t assume everything is ok. We still need to ask questions. Depending on the relationship between the adult and the teen, some of these questions will be harder than others, but often the hardest part is starting the conversation.

Hopefully we can open those channels of communication with our teens. By talking to them about their relationships, we are preventing teen violence before it happens.

RESOURCES

National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline 1-866-331-9474
Hope House Hotline: 816-461- HOPE (4673)
Hope House website: http://www.hopehouse.net/
Teen websites: www.loveisrespect.org and www.loveisnotabuse.com

1Tiffany J. Zwicker, Education Policy Brief, “The Imperative of Developing Teen Dating Violence Prevention and Intervention Programs in Secondary Schools.” 12 Southern California Review of Law and Women’s Studies, 131, (2002).
2 The Northern Westchester Shelter, with Pace Women’s Justice Center, (April 2003).
3 Liz Claiborne Inc., Conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, (February 2005).

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

Domestic violence occurs across all spectrums of socio-economics, ethnicity, and age. We must address the issue of teens being victims of violence if we are going to break the cycle.  February has been designate as Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, bringing much needed attention and resources to the issue of dating violence.

Statistics show:

• Approximately one in three adolescent girls in the United States is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner—a figure that far exceeds victimization rates for other types of violence affecting youth.1

• One in five tweens—age 11 to 14—say their friends are victims of dating violence and nearly half who are in relationships know friends who are verbally abused. Two in five of the youngest tweens, ages 11 and 12, report that their friends are victims of verbal abuse in relationships.1

• Teen victims of physical dating violence are more likely than their non-abused peers to smoke, use drugs, engage in unhealthy diet behaviors (taking diet pills or laxatives, and vomiting to lose weight), engage in risky sexual behaviors, and attempt or consider suicide.1

Digital abuse is a growing form of abuse, particularly among teens. Teens have cell phones, are sending text messages, instant messages and blogging. These new technologies bring with them risk of digital abuse, which can include unwanted, repeated calls or text messages; breaking into email or social networking accounts; or being pressured to send private or embarrassing pictures or videos. Though this issue has gone largely undetected by most adults, it is prevalent in teen life.1

One in three teens say they have been text messaged 10, 20 or 30 times an hour by a partner wanting to know where they are, what they’re doing, or who they’re with. 2 One in four teens in a relationship have been called names, harassed or put down by their partner through cell phones and texting. More than half of teen girls (51 percent) say pressure from a guy is a reason girls send sexy messages or images, and 18 percent of teen boys say pressure from a girl is a reason.3

Our children are our greatest asset and we must protect them. We, as parents, must stay aware of the dangers and address the issues head on with our children. Talk to your children about dating violence and what they or their friends are experiencing. Educate yourself to the dangers and the new ways that abuse is happening. There are many resources available for teens that have experienced dating violence and educational materials for parents and teens to learn more about this very important issue.

Resources:
http://www.endabuse.org/
http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/

1From the Family Violence Prevention fund website (http://www.endabuse.org/)
2 Technology and Teen Dating Abuse Survey, 2007 (conducted by Liz Claiborne and Teen Research Unlimited
3Sex and Tech Survey, National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 2008

Stalking Awareness Month

January 2010 marks the 7th annual National Stalking Awareness Month.

This month offers the opportunity to highlight the services that are available and to draw awareness to the issue and the impact it has on our society.

Stalking is a crime of great magnitude. More that 3 million people older than 18 are stalked annually in the United States. It is a criminal offense under the laws of all 50 states, the District of Columbia, the U.S. Territories and the federal government.

1 in 12 women and 1 in 45 men will be stalked in their lifetimes, and the majority of victims are stalked by someone they know.

What is Stalking?

Stalking is defined by Missouri law as purposely, repeatedly and intentionally harassing or following someone. How does this translate to behaviors? Victims are followed in their daily activities - to work, to the grocery store, to their friend’s house. They receive repeated phone calls and hang ups - some threatening, others where nothing is said. They can receive calls at work disrupting their work day and threatening their jobs.

Victims can also be confronted with their car tires being slashed, windows and doors broken in their cars and homes. What may not seem so threatening - but to a stalking victim it can be terrifying - is to have flowers or gifts delivered to their work or their home.

With the advancement of technology we are seeing stalking taking on different forms - GPS devices attached to cars, computer technology allowing the stalker to see activity and emails, tracking information from cell phones. Every aspect of life is invaded and threatened.

The Effects of Stalking

Being a victim of stalking is extremely frightening. Victims can experience, anxiety, insomnia, social dysfunction, lost work hours and productivity, and severe depression at a much higher rate than the general population. Stalking victims are forced to take drastic measures to protect themselves, such as relocating, changing their phone numbers, changing their identities, changing jobs and obtaining protection orders.

76% of women who were murdered by their intimate partner had been previously stalked by their killer, and more than half of these victims reported the stalking to the police before being murdered. 81% of women stalked by a current or former intimate partner are also physically assaulted by that partner.

Help is Available

If you are a victim of stalking or you know someone who is, there are resources available. Hope House has a 24 hour crisis hotline 816-461- HOPE (4673). Another resource is the Stalking Resource Center at www.ncvc.org that has a wealth of information for victims and those who want to get involved to help. Awareness is the first step in our efforts to stop this horrible crime.


Source: 1The Stalking Resource Center. (June 2009) Stalking Fact Sheet 2Tjaden, P., & Thoennes, N. (1998). Stalking in America: Findings from the National Violence Against Women survey. National Institute of Justice and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Research in Brief. Washington, DC: U.S. Department