Hope & All That Jazz

We are gearing up for our annual Hope and All That Jazz this Saturday, August 18, at the Muehlebach Hotel in downtown Kansas City.

We look forward to this annual event as we gather with 500 of our supporters and friends to raise money for the daily operations at Hope House. It is a fun evening to dress up and mingle with friends and those you haven’t seen for some time. 

Everyone is in a good mood and ready to bid on the wonderful auction items that are displayed so beautifully. Every year bidding wars happen. It’s so fun to watch people hovering close to the bid sheet, ready to write down the next bid as soon as the previous bidder walks away. 

We have wonderful donors that donate beautiful and unique auction items that appeal to everyone. We have sports items, beautiful artwork, home accents, a wonderful collection of wine, and so much more. There truly is something for everyone.

The live auction includes trips, sports packages, and a much sought after puppy, to name a few.

We will have a story from a survivor that I am so looking forward to hearing. She is truly an inspiration and I know people will be moved by her story of survival and her sense of gratitude and optimism.

If you have never been to Jazz before I encourage you to consider it this year. It’s a great time and all of the proceeds help us continue our mission of breaking the cycle of domestic violence.

It isn’t too late to sponsor a table or to buy individual tickets. Contact Libby at 816-257-9334 for more information. I hope to see you on the 18^th.

Submissive, Aggressive or Empowered

Cyndie O'Bleness of Elements Martial Arts

Today's guest blogger is Lee Marlin, Director of Marketing for Hope House.

Submissive or aggressive. Very often, our clients and their children arrive at Hope House with one of these two responses to interactions with others. They’ve learned through living with their abuser whether “freeze, fight, or flight” is their best option for getting out of a situation unharmed.

Cyndie O’Bleness, owner of Elements Martial Arts in North Kansas City, believes there is a better response, which starts with self empowerment. 

Cyndie volunteers three times a week teaching classes in personal safety and empowerment at Hope House fo­­r the women, school-aged children, and pre-school children who are living in our shelter.

Cyndie’s philosophy when teaching at Hope House is, “We don’t want to get to the ‘fighting back’ stage. We want it (a confrontation) to be a non-event.” 

To that end, she teaches our clients how to use their voice and body language; how to set boundaries; how to get over the fear of saying “no” when someone is doing something that makes them feel uncomfortable. 

“Something as simple as eye contact is important, but extremely difficult for someone who’s been traumatized,” Cyndie explains.

Martial arts fighting isn’t taught in her classes at Hope House. “We don’t want to teach these women to fight and make them think they can walk back into the relationship and be safe.” However, if a women or child is interested in training in martial arts, Cyndie offers scholarships and sliding scale fees.

Hope House women’s therapist Janet Howard said of the trainings, “Because girls are taught in our society to ‘be nice’ it is often translated into being ‘submissive’ or ‘not making a scene’. Cyndie is teaching them that they have a voice and mind and can make their own decisions after they assess the situation.”

Jill Weiterman, Hope House children’s therapist says, “One of the best things about this program is the self-esteem I have seen it foster in the kids; especially some of the boys who are struggling with anger problems.  Cyndie has given the kids something to look forward to every week.” 

We are so grateful to Cyndie for all she does for our clients. She is teaching them skills that will change the way they relate to everyone in their life. To learn more about Cyndie’s classes, seminars, and outreach programs, please visit her website http://www.elements4women.org/.

Everyone Needs a Support System

Everyone needs a support system,
whether it's family or friends.

I recently had surgery to have my gall bladder removed. This was my first experience having any type of surgery and being in a hospital other than when I had my daughter years ago. It was very different being on the patient side, receiving all of the concern and support from family and friends. 

While I was in the hospital, I was never alone. I had my husband and daughter right there checking on me, making sure I didn’t lift anything or do too much. My parents arrived soon after I got home from the hospital and they never left my side. 

All of them were always available to help with whatever needed to be done. I didn’t have to worry about anything other than myself, and resting. 

This experience really made me realize how fortunate I am that I have such a loving and available support system. I am very aware that not everyone has such a support system, and they have to go through many challenges alone, without anyone to share their feelings, triumphs and trials.

I have thought about our clients and how so many of them handle experiences so much more severe than mine without that loving support system. How do they do it? How do they cope with such challenges without anyone helping them through the process?

I have always thought that our clients are the strongest people I have ever met, and my recent experience has affirmed that for me. 

For some people, Hope House may be the only support system that they have.  They look to us for the support and encouragement that others receive from family members and friends. I am so glad that we are there for those who do not have anyone else. 

I cannot imagine going through life without the love and support of my family.  Thankfully, I have that, and knowing that gives me the drive to continue this work so that Hope House is there when needed. No one should have to face life’s challenges alone.

Volunteer Dentists are Saving Smiles

Two years ago, we were starting a huge construction project at our campus in Independence. Part of the upgrade included a Medical/Dental room. We wanted our clients to have access to these basic services without having to leave the safety of our campus.

The dental portion of that room is now open, thanks to the assistance of Dr. Morrison and Dr. Ryder, our volunteer dentists.

What an educational process this has been! None of us on the Hope House side is a dentist, and that was evident as Dr. Morrison and Dr. Ryder discussed with us all of the needs of a dental room. I had no idea what was involved!

Dr. Ryder has been volunteering his services in the room and has seen 55 clients to date. It has been amazing the work that he has completed, and the transformations in client’s health that have taken place.

He’s performed cleanings, extractions, fillings, and taken x-rays. His services so far are valued at over $16,000; money our clients do not have. Without his volunteer efforts, they most likely would have continued to go without treatment.

In domestic violence situations, it’s very common for victims to push their own health needs to the back burner, and dental needs are even further behind. Untreated dental conditions can cause serious health concerns, so having this resource available to our clients has been invaluable.

Having the dental room on site allows the clients easier access to services and eliminates the need for childcare, which could be a real obstacle if clients had to access services off site. Unfortunately, there are times that going off site is necessary, due to emergency needs and the complexity of services.

We are grateful to Dr. Morrison who has been offering emergency dental services to our clients for over 20 years. He has opened his office doors to anyone in crisis with no other resources available to them. He has made a huge difference in so many lives.

If you are a dentist or hygienist and are interested in volunteering your time and talents to our clients, please contact our Volunteer Coordinator, Gretchen Schmitz, at gschmitz@hopehouse.net or 816-257-9342. 

National Advocacy Day

I had the privilege of traveling to Washington DC in June to attend National Advocacy Day, sponsored by the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV). Advocacy Day brings together domestic violence advocates from across the country to discuss the latest news, trends and legislation that impacts the services we provide.

Advocates from across the state of Missouri were there. We had a very productive day meeting with all of the Congressmen/women and Senators from Missouri. The topic of conversation throughout the day was the controversy that has arisen surrounding the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA).

This is the first time the reauthorization has become controversial. The House and Senate each passed very different versions of the bill. We spent the day discussing the “hot button” issues, and strategies for the two sides to come together. 

As always, the Missouri delegation welcomed us and listened to our concerns. Everyone continues to be supportive of VAWA overall, but no one was really sure how to bridge the differences. Discussion continues and everyone voiced hope that a resolution could be reached.

If you would like more information about the reauthorization of VAWA, the NNEDV website has accurate and up to date information regarding the process and the “hot button” issues. 

Celebrating Independence

Our country celebrated Independence Day yesterday. Normally when we think of Independence Day we think of fireworks, cook outs and celebrating our freedom and independence as a country.

But I also think about the thousands of people we work with who are creating new lives and celebrating their own newly found independence living a life free of violence.

I love thinking of those who have not only survived DV, but are now thriving and have reclaimed their freedom. They wake up every day knowing they are free to make their own decisions about their lives, and free to enjoy their children and their families without the fear of someone being harmed.

I am thankful for the freedoms we have in this country; thankful for those who continue to fight for our freedoms, and those who have made the ultimate sacrifice by giving their life for their country.

I am also thankful for all who support Hope House and who assist us in helping those who don’t have their independence; those who are not yet free of the violence. For those people, we will continue to be here providing services and we will help how ever we are able.

We look forward to the day that everyone is celebrating their freedom from a life of violence. Until then, we will continue to work to break the cycle of violence once and for all.

Birdies Fore Hope Women's Golf Tournament

We are so excited for our upcoming Birdies for Hope golf tournament. This is the second annual all women’s golf tournament, and it was the brain child of one of our board members, Lisa Block. 

Lisa is an amazing person. Her compassion and passion for those who have been impacted by domestic violence is refreshing and heartwarming.

Lisa and her co-chairs, Lisa Hendricks, Chris Ferguson and Barb Bloch have worked tirelessly to put together a tournament that is fun and will bring in much needed dollars to support the operations of Hope House.

We know it will be a great day and are looking forward to seeing many golfers on Monday, July 2nd at the Oakwood Country Club located at 9800 Grandview Road in Kansas City, Missouri.

We are grateful for the amazing support we receive from the community. We would not be able to provide all of the services we provide if it were not for the community rallying around us and supporting us with their volunteer efforts and their wiliness to participate in events and other activities.

There is still time to join us on the 2nd if you are in the mood for golf or want to help out in some way. For more information, or to get entered, please visit our website.