More Thoughts on Chris Brown

Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic/Getty Images

Thank you to everyone who responded to my blog about Chris Brown. I appreciate the comments, even when I do not agree with them. 

I do not agree with “Anonymous” that this issue is just between Rihanna and Chris. DV is a problem that involves our entire society - it is NOT a family problem.

DV is a crime and must be addressed by society as a whole, not just by the victim. Are there any other crimes where we say it's just between victim and perpetrator?

What if Chris Brown had beaten another performer that wasn’t his girlfriend? Would the response have been different? Would he have been accepted back into the fold so wholeheartedly?

What if he'd beaten a male performer? Would we be so quick to say that it was just between the two of them? My guess is "no". 

Society looks at DV differently than other crimes, holds victims accountable for behavior that isn’t theirs, blames victims for the assaults, and then doesn’t hold the perpetrator accountable.

Why is that? Why are DV victims different from other victims? Until we stop blaming victims of abuse, instead of the abuser, and we hold the abuser accountable, DV will continue to be a problem.

We must see that this crime is unacceptable and we as a society must work to stop it.

Yes, Anonymous, I do think we should boycott Chris Brown’s music. We should say we are not going to support his criminal behavior and his violent outbursts. We should say to him and all other abusers, "You must be accountable for your behavior and I will not support you in your career until you take responsibility and make different decisions."

I personally have boycotted movies and TV shows when I have learned of the abusive nature of the actors. Does it make a difference? By myself, probably not.  But if more people joined me and said "ENOUGH!" maybe we could make a difference and change the world.

As Ryunosuke Satoro said, "Individually we are one drop. Together we are an ocean."   

Chris Brown and the Grammy Awards

Chris Brown photo: Getty Images

Like many others, I was questioning the decision to have Chris Brown be such a prominent figure at this year’s Grammy awards.

Three years ago, he beat his then-girlfriend, Rihanna, so badly she was almost unrecognizable. He pleaded guilty and received five years probation and community service which, in my opinion, is really not a punishment for the severity of the crime he committed.

If you ask me, he should have gone to prison for the assault… but of course, no one asked me.

Instead of doing prison time and paying restitution for his crime, he is honored at the same place that was the start of the crime three years ago. I am disappointed not only in the organizers of the awards ceremony, but the people in the audience as well. A standing ovation? Really? I do not understand our ability as a society to just forget and not hold people accountable.

I realize that not everyone will agree with me. I realize that some feel that he has “paid his dues” and deserves a second chance. I am all for second chances, but that needs to be earned. How has he taken responsibility?

I have heard him complain that people were being too hard on him and he didn’t deserve all of the negativity. Sorry, but when you commit felony assault I believe some negativity and accountability should come your way!

If he truly has changed and learned from his criminal behavior, then he should take his ability to reach millions of people at a time and let them know:

• how he has changed for the better
• how he has made his restitution
• how is he a better person today 
• how he has changed his beliefs about women, relationships and physical assault on those you love

I do try to find the best in people and do believe people are capable of change. I hope that he has changed for the sake of his new girlfriend and anyone else that he has relationships with.