Marti Hill

I had the extreme pleasure of meeting a very courageous, warm and inviting woman. Joyce Layman Blackburn introduced me to Marti Hill so I could hear her story and offer resources for their joint project the Living Proof website.

Marti is an amazing woman. She has survived so much and has become a pioneer and advocate for those who are experiencing trauma, pain and loss. Marti’s story is not one of domestic violence, but she has so much to say that can impact those who are experiencing domestic violence. Her desire is to help everyone and she realized that she couldn’t do it alone, so she set about gathering people around her who could help. She had a dream to use her trauma and victimization and turn it into something positive that would help inspire others and promote healing.

Marti was viciously attacked on September 8, 2010 by Brian Pennington. Brian had done home repair work for Marti and Marti’s mother. Early one morning, Brian drove to Marti’s house on the pretense of showing her some more work that he found still needed to be done on her house. Instead, he viciously attacked her and left her for dead in the basement of her home.

It is a miracle that Marti is alive. Her injuries were so severe that, if it hadn’t been for her caring co-workers who became concerned when she didn’t show for work and called for a wellness check, Marti most likely would not be alive today. Marti has embraced this miracle and is committed to creating something positive out of a horrific situation. I applaud Marti for her courage, her commitment to helping others and her willingness to turn tragedy into hope.

Marti’s story was highlighted on CBS 48 Hours on February 2, 2013. She has much to offer to those who are in need or who want to be inspired by her story of survival. To learn more about Marti’s story and who she is, visit her website martihill.com. I know you will be as impressed with Marti as I am.

Year In Review

We’re putting the final touches on our annual report for Fiscal Year 2012. It can be so rewarding to look back at the year and all of the great things we were able to accomplish in a twelve month period.

In terms of numbers, we continue to see the need for services grow. We experienced greater lengths of stay in shelter and provided more bednights than the previous year. Resources in the community continue to be stretched which, in turn, makes referrals more difficult. Case managers are finding the need to be more creative in how they help their clients reach their goals. We saw continued growth in our outreach services, both in the numbers served and those waiting for available services.

As an agency, we spent the year reviewing our delivery of services, identifying needs and gaps, and adjusting our programming to better fit the needs of those we served. We were very excited to continue our work with our Cultural Competency initiative and added a new component to our work.

We were very fortunate to receive a grant, along with two other agencies, from the Jackson County Mental Health Levy Fund to implement a Trauma Informed Care training curriculum for all staff of the agency—not just the direct service staff. We are very committed to providing trauma informed services and recognize that trauma is an integral part of the history of all our clients.

To have all staff trained in how trauma impacts us as individuals, and how to work with people who have been impacted by trauma in an informed and caring way, is crucial to our work. We have begun the process of training all staff in how to provide trauma informed services and have a plan to train all new staff as they join our work.

We also created a training plan that includes requirements for on-going annual training in the areas of cultural competency, trauma and domestic violence. This will allow us to continue to grow as service providers and keep the needs of our clients at the fore front, allowing us to be informed and intentional in our work.

I am excited about what we’ve accomplished and what we’re working on for this and upcoming years. Growth and continued learning are so important. We have a commitment to our clients and will work to improve our service delivery so their needs continue to be met.

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

It's already February! Hard to believe how fast time has gone. February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. It is so crucial to bring continued awareness to the issue of teen dating violence. If we don't address it when people are young, we will never fully break the continued cycle.

Shockingly, 1 in 3 teens will experience violence in their dating relationship. Estimates are that nearly 1.5 million high schools students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner! What's even more shocking is that 2/3 of them will not reveal the abuse to a trusted adult. That means there are many young adults carrying around with them a very tragic and very dangerous secret.

Teen dating violence can have long lasting effects and very serious ramifications. It can put a teen at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior and further domestic violence. Half of youth who have been victims of both dating violence and rape attempt suicide. That's compared to 12.5% of non abused girls and 5.4% of non-abused boys. Those numbers are frightening.

What can be done? Parents can get involved. Talk to your teens about who they are dating and what is going on in the relationship. Be aware of the signs of an abusive relationship and have open communication with your teens so that it is safe for them to talk about what is going on. Also, download the iPhone app “Love is not Abuse”. There is a wealth of information to learn about  the signs, how to talk to teens, what to do, support groups etc. It's important to be informed and to take action.

If you're not a parent of a teen, it's still important to take notice. Most likely you know of a teen somewhere or will encounter one at some point in the future. It's important that we all take notice and work to stop the violence.

For more information visit the Hope House website: hopehouse.net or visit loveisrespect.org. If you're in a teen violent relationship there is help. Call the Teen Dating Violence hotline 1-866-331-9474 or the Hope House hotline 816-461-HOPE. You don't have to experience this alone.

Hope House Staff

An advocate takes a call on the hotline.
 

I would like to take this opportunity to acknowledge all of the staff who works at Hope House. When I first meet people and they learn I work at Hope House I often hear, “Oh, isn’t that hard work?” and “How do you do it?"

My response to this question is the staff I work with are the ones who are doing the hard work. Hope House would not be what it is today without the dedication of the individuals who work here.

This work is not easy, that is very true. Direct service staff work long and crazy hours and are confronted with trauma every day. They hear stories from survivors every day that most people would probably never hear in their lifetime.

When you work at Hope House you never know what the day is going to bring or what crisis is around the corner, but the staff take it all in stride. They are gracious and caring and work to ensure that client needs are met. Even those who do not do direct service make a tremendous impact on the lives of the clients. They may not know it, but they do.

I am grateful to all of the staff who is committed to helping our clients and who make Hope House a great place to work. We are able to laugh and have fun, as well as focus on the seriousness of our client’s needs. I consider myself fortunate to have such a wonderful team to work with.

Hope House Celebrates 30 Years of Service

It’s 2013, which means Hope House is celebrating its 30th anniversary!

It’s amazing how far we have come in the last 30 years. We have grown over the years to being the largest provider of domestic violence services in the state of Missouri. We have 122 beds between both of our locations and serve over 10,000 people every year through all of our programming.

We started out in a small house on Truman Road and now have two campuses in Eastern Jackson County. We are humbled as we look at where we’ve been, and excited to think about where we’re going.

We will continue to provide the best quality programming possible for the people we work with everyday. They are the reason we are here and why we work so hard. Our purpose is to help give them the opportunity to have a better life and a safe environment in which to live.

Please help us celebrate our anniversary this year. We will have activities throughout the year to commemorate the milestone we have achieved.  We have come a long way but still have a lot of work to do. Will you join us?

Happy New Year

The New Year is almost here. This is a great time to celebrate the possibilities and reflect on what was and what is yet to be.

We are excited about the coming year and all that it has to offer all of us. We continue to work hard to create new programming that will meet the needs of our clients and offer the best possible services.

We are grateful to everyone who has been a part of our family and look forward to our continued work together this next year. We have so many wonderful volunteers and supporters who are so giving of their time and resources. It truly does make a difference.

I continue to be in awe of the strength of those we serve. They have strength beyond words. They are not only surviving but they are thriving. I am grateful to them for their courage and look forward to what the New Year has in store for us. I know it will be positive and full of blessings.

I wish you all a Happy New Year!

 

Is Domestic Violence Ever Justified?

Is there ever a time when domestic violence is justified? If someone was using drugs, is it ok for them to be beaten?  Is it ok because the victim has a “big mouth”? When is someone an “acceptable victim”?

 

I read a headline recently:  ”Michael Wayne Jones Allegedly Beats His Girlfriend with Her Dog”. Apparently, Michael Wayne Jones argued with his girlfriend when she was trying to smoke crack with her daughter.  He punched his hand through the windshield, grabbed her dog, and proceeded to swing the dog and hit her with it as if the dog were a club. His excuse was “She was doing drugs.”

Does that make her deserving of being beaten?  Many of the people who posted comments beneath the article thought so.

I hear these statements a lot:

• “She must have done something to deserve to be beaten.”
• “She must like it if she doesn’t leave.”

I must say I am still affected by these statements even after 20 years. I don’t know of anyone that likes it or asks for it. Yes, some people do drugs. Yes, some people yell and are loud and argue. Yes, some people swear and can be crude, but does that mean they deserve to be beaten? My answer is “No”.  

No one deserves to be beaten.

 

I have this to say to the abusive person:

“If you don’t like your partner’s behavior then you have choices to make.  You can try to work it out peacefully, you can go to counseling, or you can leave. You have choices. Please don’t choose to continue the cycle of violence. Please stop making excuses and blaming the victim.  Stand up and accept responsibility. Stop the violence.”