Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Red Flags of Abuse

Most relationships do not start out abusive but there can be signs or what we call “red flags”. Sometimes the red flags are immediately obvious and other times it may take a while to see them.

Red flags can include a partner who:

• Insists on moving too quickly into a relationship.

• Does not honor your boundaries.

• Is excessively jealous or possessive.

• Criticizes your appearance or makes frequent put-downs.

• Does not take responsibility for their behavior and blames others for their failures or difficulties.

• Has a history of battering in other relationships.

• Blames the entire failure of an earlier relationship on their partner.

• Has a very stereotypical view of sex roles.

• Insists that you stop participating in leisure interests or spending time with your family or friends.

• Tells you how you "should feel" or tries to talk you out of your feelings.

• Seems that they may be "too good to be true".

• Makes frequent and harsh derogatory remarks about others.

• Is very impulsive and shows signs of raging out of control.

As we work with victims to create safety plans, we have to find out what tactics have been used against them and what threats exist so we can make a safety plan tailored to their situation. This helps start the healing process.

Remember, Hope House’s 24 hour hotline is 816-461-HOPE (4673). We are always available if you feel you are in an abusive relationship and you need someone to talk to or are in need of safe shelter.

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