A few weeks ago my husband and I
attended a benefit for Hope House of Kansas City (hopehouse.net). Aside from the
fact that my husband convinced me to dress for the 80’s theme instead of in
cocktail attire, it was a lovely event. Hope House provides shelter to victims
of domestic violence but it also provides so much more, such as therapy, court
and legal programs, hospital based advocacy and training for law enforcement,
social workers, hospital personnel and even corporations. Hope House provides
services to over 10,000 victims a year.
If you are reading this on my Kansas
City blog you might not know that I also have a blog that primarily addresses
the issue of Violence against Women. You can find it here: ingridkeizerwilson.blogspot.com.
In most cases this is not a subject that people enjoy discussing. It is
unpleasant and sometimes it strikes unbelievably close to home. However, it is
an issue that occurs in epidemic proportions and if we don’t confront it, it
won’t go away.
A study performed by WHO (World Health
Organization) indicates that one third of women worldwide are victims of
domestic violence. WHO acknowledges that one third might significantly
under-estimate this number because shame prevents women from sharing their
experiences. I understand the element of shame in sharing. In what seems to
have been another life and perhaps even another world, I was a victim too. I’m
told that when we can speak or write about trauma we have learned to “deal with
it”. I suppose that I haven’t learned to deal with it. Like the other blemishes
that map my life, I tend to keep that part of my history concealed.
There are elements of domestic violence
that are evident to most people. It is dangerous to families and to
communities, but there are other issues which are not so obvious and have far
more long lasting effects. WHO has reported that domestic violence results in
higher levels depression, drug abuse and alcohol abuse in victims. Women who
are victims of domestic abuse are more likely to give birth to low birth-weight
babies and children raised with domestic violence are more likely to be
violent. None of these issues fade or heal with bruises and broken bones. All
of these issues draw on community resources and demands for government funding.
Perhaps the most disturbing fact is that the majority of women murdered each
year, die at the hands of a partner who claimed to have “loved them”.
Like many women who are victims of
domestic violence, I returned to my partner over and over and over again. It
was easy for my friends and family to shake their heads in disbelief. They did
not understand the emotional or financial vulnerabilities that go along with
leaving. They could not hear the voice within me that said that on some level I
must have deserved it.
There are a lot of things we can do to
help prevent domestic violence in the future. We can break down barriers to
gender equality. We can be persistent in advocating for affordable education
for all people. We can help young women to understand the importance of
establishing financial self-dependence. We can invest in affordable, quality
early childhood education programs. And we can raise our daughters, nieces and
sisters with the knowledge that they are valuable, that their opinions matter
and with the confidence to understand that they are capable.
In the meantime we need to stop turning
away from information that makes us uncomfortable. Domestic Violence exists in
our communities. It exists in our neighbor’s homes, it exists in our colleagues
lives and it might even exist within our own families. Pretending that we don’t
see it doesn’t make it go away. Without the help of organizations like Hope
House there is no refuge, there is no easily accessible, affordable legal
advocacy, there is no assistance with mental health care and there is no
training for community awareness. There are just 10,000 victims a year in the
Kansas City area alone with nowhere to turn.
There are things that you can do to help. Please
visit http://www.hopehouse.net/ to learn more.
