I was horrified at the video released by Hillary Adams that showed her father, Judge William Adams, beating her with a belt and cursing at her extensively. WARNING: this video is extremely graphic and very difficult to watch.Her mother, Hallie, is also seen hitting Hillary with a belt and yelling at her. Many of the videos’ commenters ask what would possess a mother to allow this to happen, and worse, participate in the cruelty?
Hallie reports that she was also a victim of domestic violence, was brainwashed and had to do everything her husband said. Is it possible that Hallie participated to the extent that she did to try to keep her daughter safe?
My first thought when I saw Hallie in the video was that she is a battered woman and is doing this to protect her child. If she can make her husband think she agrees with him, then she might be able to calm him down. If she participates and hits Hillary with the belt herself, then maybe he will stop. Pure speculation on my part, but something I’d like you to consider.
Many say if abuse is going on in the home, the mother should leave. In this situation, Judge Adams is a Family Court Judge; he makes decisions every day on who gets to keep their kids and who doesn’t! It’s quite possible Hallie felt that if she left her husband, she would lose custody of Hillary. What are the chances Hallie would have retained custody?
Wasn’t Hillary better off with Hallie in the home acting as a mediator and working to protect Hillary from her father? What if Hallie did leave and lost custody? Hillary would have been in the home alone with her father, with no mother to help protect her. As counter intuitive as it sounds, sometimes staying is the safer option.
I am not suggesting that exposing children to child abuse is a good thing. I am only pointing out how difficult the choices are that a mother often has to make. Most of the mothers I have worked with care more about their children than themselves.
I am not defending Hallie’s actions; I’m just trying to make everyone look at the situation from another point of view. Let’s remember that the monster in this story is Judge Adams, not his battered wife.