From the Front Line of Domestic Violence: Hope House Blog

Stalking Awareness Month

2012-01-25T08:22:00.000-06:00

January is Stalking Awareness Month. It is a month dedicated to education and bringing awareness to the issue of stalking.

3.4 million people are stalked each year in the United State.
Intimate partner stalking is the most common type of stalking and the most dangerous.

At the suggestion of the Stalking Awareness website http://www.stalkingawarenessmonth.org/ I googled “track girlfriend” to see what would come up. I was not at all surprised to find websites and articles that give details on how to “track” someone “you love”. It is very scary to me how easy it is to track someone’s movements. Most often the person doesn't even know they’re being stalked.

Cell phones are an easy and often used way to stalk someone. It is so easy to install a tracking device on a phone without the person even being aware. There are apps available for download and no way for the owner to know it has been installed.

I have read that some shelters across the country are taking clients’ cell phones as they enter shelter. The staff takes the phone apart so any tracking mechanism is disabled. Abusers have shown up at their location due to the cell phone tracking devices!

Thank goodness, at Hope House, we have not experienced this issue but we absolutely talk to our clients about technology, the advances that have been made in the past few years, and the various ways that someone can be “tracked”.

Stalking is a very dangerous crime and one that needs to be taken seriously. Most stalking victims know their stalkers. 60% of stalkers have stalked before. This has become a major issue in our society.

I encourage you to visit the website http://www.stalkingawarenessmonth.org/ to learn facts about stalking and ideas on how you can participate in bringing more awareness to the issue.

Pets In Shelter

2012-01-20T16:41:00.001-06:00

In June of 2010 I posted a blog about animal abuse. I thought I would revisit that issue as there has been muchin the press this past week about animals and domestic violence.

In homes with domestic violence,there is often abuse of the animals as well as abuse of the women. Animals arebeloved members of the family and are often cited as reasons why a woman willstay in the relationship so she doesn’t have to leave her pet/family memberbehind.

At Hope House we have been taking animals into shelter for over 10 years. Werecognized that leaving the animals in the home was an obstacle that needed tobe addressed to allow women to leave when they were ready.

We have two kennels at each ofour locations, one for a dog and one for a cat. Asking about pets at home ispart of the routine questions asked on the hotline. We determine if pets will be safe at home; if arrangements need to be made with family or friends; or if they need to bring the pet into shelter with them.

Our process had been to seek thehelp of local animal agencies in taking the animals for a temporary period oftime while the client made other arrangements or found her own permanent housing.Unfortunately, over the past few years those agencies have been overwhelmedwith their own animals and haven’t had the extra space to take our client’sanimals.

Consequently, we have had animals staying with us longer in shelter. This hashad its advantages in that the client is with her pet and can find comfort inknowing that they are close and safe. It is a challenge in that we do not have adedicated space for the pets. But somehow we always find a space.

It is such a pleasure to sit inmy office and look out the window and see clients running around in thecourtyard with their dogs. It is a great to hear dogs barking and having a wonderfultime with their owners, knowing that they are all safe.

We will continue to providethis needed and worthwhile service, and continue to look at improving theoptions for our clients and their pets. For more statistics and informationabout this issue, visit my earlier blog.

Ellen Pence 1948-2012

2012-01-11T11:17:00.001-06:00

Photo by minnesota.publicradio.org/Laura Yuen

I am very sad at the loss of a huge advocate in the field of domestic violence. Ellen Pence (1948-2012) passed away January 6th from breast cancer.

Ellenco-founded the Duluth Model. It is a program that was developed to reducedomestic violence by providing a Coordinated Community Response (CCR), meaningseveral local agencies (including police, probation, courts and human services)work together in response to domestic abuse.
The primarygoal of CCR is to protect victims from ongoing abuse. This model is used in all50 states and more than 17 countries, including in our area.

According toDuluth Assistant City Attorney Mary Asmus, a friend of Pence’s for almost 30years, “Before Ellen, the criminal justice system did not intervene in domesticviolence issues. Police did not arrest. People didn’t get prosecuted. Nowherein the state or country. She is really behind all of it. It all goes back toher. She is the mother of our coordinated community response.”

Shetrained thousands of people during her career around the issue of domesticviolence, and dedicated her life to ending violence against women. She was aleader for those of us in this field.

She is gone from us, but her spiritremains, as does her legacy. She has inspired many with her research and heractivism. It is up to us to continue her work and take up where she left off.No one can fill her shoes, but we can continue her workto end the violence.

Looking back: Accomplishments

2012-01-05T08:14:00.000-06:00

The new therapy building on the Independence campus.

As we start a new year, I would like to take this opportunity to look at our 2011 fiscalyear that ended September 30^th and share with you all that weaccomplished.

One of our biggest accomplishments is the completion of thecapital campaign and the construction on the Independence campus. Thetransformation has been truly amazing. The buildings are beautiful and havereally helped us in providing services to our clients. It is truly a healingspace for great work to be accomplished.

In fiscal year 2010-2011 (October 1, 2010 – September 30,2011) we were able to provide the following services:

1,243 women and children were served in our two emergencyshelters
39,470 bednights were provided
29 people were served in our transitional living program
8,595 people were served through our court advocacy program
455 people were assisted by our two contract attorneys
108 people were assisted through the hospital advocacyprogram
81 families received services through our safe visitationprogram

It is so uplifting to see the numbers of clients we wereable to assist this past year through our programming. It is somewhatoverwhelming at the same time knowing that we turned away 999 from our sheltersand continue to have waiting lists for our outreach programs.

We will continueto do all that we can to serve those who are in need and continue our missionof breaking the cycle of domestic violence.

Happy New Year

2011-12-28T08:27:00.000-06:00

We look forward to the new opportunities that await us inthis coming year. I always start the new year with hope and anticipation of thingsto come, and this year is no exception.

We are doing amazing things at Hope House. I feel incrediblyblessed to have the opportunity to work with so many fantastic people and tohelp our clients transform their lives.

I continue to be in awe of the strength of those who havebeen affected by domestic violence and their perseverance to not only survive,but to thrive.

We have had an eventful year and I know the upcoming yearwill hold many surprises and wonderful new things for all of us.

I wish you all a Happy New Year filled with many blessings!

Life After Shelter

2011-12-08T08:12:00.001-06:00

Picture by Jonathan D.Bloom at Flickr.com

I am often asked how we help people once they move out of our shelter.

That answer will depend on what level of involvement a client wants to havewith us and what needs she has. We will continue to work with clients as longas they want to receive our support and services.

Any client leaving our shelter can access our outreachtherapy services, both group and individual for both herself and her children.We are able to offer our Transitional Housing program to some of our clients,which is extremely helpful for those who are facing obstacles related toemployment and housing.

If a client is struggling and needs temporary assistancewith food, clothing or other necessities, we can help with that as well, and hopefullyprevent a crisis from occurring.

We can assist clients leaving shelter with items that willhelp them set up their new homes. We are fortunate to have a caring communitythat blesses us with donations of furniture and household items.

We will work with clients on an individual basis and try toassist them with whatever their needs are. If we are not able to help them, wewill work to find someone that can. We are known for being creative andfiguring out solutions to the problems presented.

One of the most heart-warming things we can do for ourclients is the Holiday Store. Moms and kids get to shop for holiday gifts for eachother, and it’s free because our community has donated all the gifts.

The kids are thrilled when they get to choose something nice for their moms.And the moms are usually in tears, knowing that their kids might not have had aChristmas without the Holiday Store.

If you’d like to help us help our clients have a brighterholiday, please see our Holiday Store wish list. We are especially in need ofgifts for teens and moms. Our store opens this weekend, so we’re ready to startstocking the shelves.

Thank you for caring about these woman and children that you’ll never meet. Especiallyat the holidays, you make all the difference in their lives.

Pre/Postnatal Support Group

2011-12-01T06:30:00.000-06:00

Today’s guest blogger is Tracy Pickering,Prevention Specialist for Hope House.

Research has shown that women in domesticviolence relationships are 25% more likely to experience postpartum depression,increasing to 60% if the woman is in shelter.

Birth Trauma
One of the newer areas of treatment of postpartum depression is birth trauma.Birth trauma is post-traumatic stress that occurs following the birth of a baby.It can be the result of:

a history of domestic or sexual violence
non-consensual or forced pregnancy
having the abusive partner in the delivery room

The symptoms resemble other types of post-traumaticstress including:

nightmares
flashbacks of the birth
detachment from the baby

In one case, a mom reported having flashbacks of sexual abuse she experiencedas a child every time she looked at her baby. I have had several women reportbeing so depressed after the birth of their baby that they thought aboutkilling themselves and their child.

Pre/Postnatal Support Group Formed
In light of this, Hope House started a pre/postnatal support group. We’vefound that the support the clients receive from each other is the mostimportant element. The group offers an opportunity for the women to honestly discusstheir feelings about their pregnancy and not feel judged. They seem amazed thatother women have the same feelings.

The group offers a supportive environment to discuss the pros/cons of keepingthe child, or offering the baby for adoption, without any judgment or guilt.

The clients can discuss their fear of how they will take care of a baby whenthey don’t have finances to support the children they already have, embarrassmentthat they are having another child in the circumstances they are in, and theirconfusion about how the abusive partner will fit into their child’s life.

It is a powerful experience to see the women start to embrace the pregnancyinstead of trying to run from it. It is highly important that moms resolvethese issues before the birth so that they can be present and focused on thebaby, creating the safest, most bonded environment possible.

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T06:00:00.000-06:00

Photo by Jenny Steffens Hobick @
http://jennysteffens.blogspot.com/.

It is that time of year when we stop to give thanks for all of our many blessings. We at Hope House are extremely blessed.

We are blessed to be a part of this wonderful community; a caring community that reaches out to us in so many ways. People are amazing in how creative they are in helping us with our many needs!

Here are a few examples of things that people have done for us in the past that may give you a great idea for how your family, office or church can get involved with Hope House:

- Invite your neighbors over and ask them to bring a new, unwrapped gift for our holiday store. In return, they get hot chocolate and cookies made by your kids.

- Teach a Girl Scouts group how to crochet and have them create tiny blankets for our newborns.

- Hold a wiffle ball tournament with a percent of entry fees coming to Hope House. Get your kids’ schoolmates involved.

Did this list get you thinking creatively? If so, contact our Volunteer Manager, Gretchen, at 816-257-9342 or gschmitz@hopehouse.net to discuss the details.

We thank you for your support and for thinking of us throughout the year. We couldn’t do the work we do without the involvement of our community. We are grateful to everyone who has touched our lives as we work to break the cycle of domestic violence.

We wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving.

The Penn State Scandal

2011-11-17T07:26:00.001-06:00

Jerry Sandusky photo by AP.

This past week I have been following the news from PennState and learning about the alleged horrendous abuse that occurred over manyyears to innocent young children.

I understand that JerrySandusky has claimed his innocence of these allegations; however, I read inhorror that many people knew about “suspicious” activity occurring but they neverfollowed through or did anything to investigate.

It is so familiar to hear people respond by saying, “He wasa coach and founder of a children’s charity. How could he do this? How could hebe a well-respected member of the community and a sexual predator of youngchildren at the same time?”

In Mr. Sandusky's case a court of law will determine hisguilt or innocence, but every day there are those that appear to be modelcitizens who torture and abuse innocent victims behind closed doors. It isunimaginable to think they could be a coach, a minister, or a judge. It goesagainst our way of thinking that people can perpetrate such hideous crimesagainst others, especially children.

We see victims of domestic violence every day who havestruggled alone in silence because they didn’t think anyone would believe thattheir abuser, a respected upstanding citizen, could also be a torturer at home.I heard the same thing reportedly said by those young boys: they didn’t feelthey could say anything because no one would believe them or care.

Unfortunately, in this situation, it certainly appears thosewere valid concerns. People did see the abuse happening, reported it andnothing happened. How can any child feel that they should continue to report?

What threats are made to hold them hostage in the vicious cycle of abuse? There are so many similarities to how domesticviolence and child abuse occur: trapping victims and perpetuating the beliefthat they are alone, no one cares, and nothing can be done to stop it.

My heart goes out to all those who have experienced abuse bysomeone they love or trust. I am sickened that it took so long for this to cometo light. How many victims could have been saved endless torture and years ofrecovery had someone stepped in to help them?

We must all speak up whenwe see someone being abused; we may be their only hope. We must stop the abusethat is happening in our society before another innocent person becomes avictim.

Judge Beats Daughter With a Belt

2011-11-10T12:35:00.000-06:00

I was horrified at the video released by Hillary Adams thatshowed her father, Judge William Adams, beating her with a belt and cursing ather extensively. WARNING: this video is extremely graphic and very difficult towatch.

Her mother, Hallie, is also seen hitting Hillary with a beltand yelling at her. Many of the videos’ commenters ask what would possess amother to allow this to happen, and worse, participate in the cruelty?

Hallie reports that she was also a victim of domesticviolence, was brainwashed and had to do everything her husband said. Is it possible that Hallie participated tothe extent that she did to try to keep her daughter safe?

My first thought when I saw Hallie in the video was that sheis a battered woman and is doing this to protect her child. If she can make herhusband think she agrees with him, then she might be able to calm him down. Ifshe participates and hits Hillary with the belt herself, then maybe he willstop. Pure speculation on my part, but something I’d like you to consider.

Many say if abuse is going on in the home, the mother shouldleave. In this situation, Judge Adams isa Family Court Judge; he makes decisions every day on who gets to keep theirkids and who doesn’t! It’s quite possible Hallie felt that if she left herhusband, she would lose custody of Hillary. What are the chances Hallie wouldhave retained custody?

Wasn’t Hillary better off with Hallie in the home acting as a mediator andworking to protect Hillary from her father? What if Hallie did leave and lostcustody? Hillary would have been in the home alone with her father, with nomother to help protect her. As counter intuitive as it sounds, sometimes stayingis the safer option.

I am not suggesting that exposing children to child abuse isa good thing. I am only pointing out howdifficult the choices are that a mother often has to make. Most of the mothers Ihave worked with care more about their children than themselves.
I am not defending Hallie’s actions; I’m just trying to makeeveryone look at the situation from another point of view. Let’s remember thatthe monster in this story is Judge Adams, not his battered wife.

The $10,000,000 Wedding That Lasted 72 Days

2011-11-03T11:13:00.001-05:00

Photo by wakeywakeynews.com

I must admit that I do watch some reality TV but I have not been a follower of the Kardashian Family… that is until recently.

It’s hard not to know what is going on with this family since the big wedding and now the big divorce. The family is everywhere. I‘m perplexed by the interest in them and their never-ending adventures.

But now, I’m so angry that I have found myself watching and listening when the media reports the Kardashian’s newest drama. I don’t know why I do this since it raises my blood pressure and causes me to use words that are highly inappropriate!

Why am I angry?

Because these people waste money just because they can. I am sickened by the fact that 10 MILLION DOLLARS was spent on one wedding. REALLY?! What does someone need to have at a wedding that costs $10,000,000?

I understand that people have different standards than I do, but again I say: REALLY?! You must spend that type of money?

Since the big wedding I have been spouting off to anyone around me who will listen about this outrageous spending. And now that the marriage lasted a whopping 72 days, I am even more livid!

What does their spending have to do with me?
Do you know what $10,000,000 could do for non-profit organizations? I cringe when I think about how many lives could have been saved if that money had been donated to the domestic violence programs across this country. Hope House alone serves over 10,000 people every year through our programming. How many more could we serve and assist with $10,000,000, or even $1,000,000?

Lives are at stake every day in the work we do. We scramble for every penny we get, and yet the Kardashian’s reality is so different from ours that they can throw away millions of dollars for a party. That is just plain wrong and it is shameful.

I am so grateful for all of the supporters that we have. Sometimes they don’t have much themselves, yet they consider others and their needs. They are helping us to break the cycle of violence every day.

I can only hope that someday Kim Kardashian and others who have so much will look at the resources available to them and say, “You know what? I have enough. Instead of throwing this money down the drain, I am going to donate it to a worthwhile charity.”

Until then, I am afraid those around me will continue to hear me rant.

Do You Know a DV Victim?

2011-10-26T16:00:00.000-05:00

Are your sister and niece
victims?

Can you tell by looking at someone that they are or havebeen a victim of domestic violence? Absolutely not. Just as you can’t look atsomeone and know where they are from, or what they do for a living.

Survivors of domestic violence often survive alone and inthe privacy of their own homes. It can be so difficult to share their pain andthe difficult reality of their family life with others.

Those who have been victimized often feel a sense of shameand embarrassment. To me, the last person who should feel embarrassed is thevictim. The one perpetrating the abuse is the one who should be riddled withguilt and shame, but too often that is not the case.

Is your co-worker being
abused?

So, how do we know who is beingvictimized? It’s not that we want to know out of some perverse sense of wantingall the gory details, but from the place of how can I help? What can I do tomake their situation better? Howdo I intervene? What can I say to them?

These are all questions I hope that everyone is askingthemselves about their loved ones and friends. I encourage you to:

Visit our website and learn more about theservices Hope House offers so you can share this information.
Visit loveisnotabuse.com, sponsoredby the Liz Claiborne Company. It has all kinds of educational informationincluding warning signs to look for.
Call our hotline at 816-461-HOPE (4673) any timeday or night. Our advocates can give you advice on how to talk to and helpsomeone you suspect is being abused.
Better yet, encourage the victim/survivor tocall us. We won’t try to make them do anything they don’t want to do. We won’tcall the police or insist that they come in to shelter. We’re here to help,even if that’s only lending a compassionate ear.

2011-10-20T14:00:00.000-05:00

Chairperson Kerry Oliver (R) with
Nancy Woodworth.

This past Sunday we hosted the 4th annual Howlin’ for Hope,sponsored by Carter Energy. This event was held at the dueling piano bar, Howlat the Moon, which is located in the Power and Light District.

I’d like to offer a special thanks to Kerry Oliver, of Carter Energy, forchairing this exciting event.

The dueling piano players created a fun, music-filled atmosphere and lots ofopportunities for patrons to get on stage and join them for laughs, and the chanceto win prizes. But most importantly, it helped Hope House raise desperatelyneeded funds.

This event raised about $22,000! The money will be used forcapital needs (i.e. home repair type projects) at our Lee’s Summit campus. Wehave over $300,000 worth of projects that need to be done.

We have drainage issues that need to be addressed on the grounds. There’s also workto do in shelter. The wear and tear our buildings take is truly amazing. Butwhen you consider that both shelters house over 1,100 people every year, itisn’t surprising that they need major upkeep.

We plan to replace all of the carpet in the shelter withtile, which is easier to maintain, and creates a healthier, cleaner environmentfor our residents. With so many people in and out of the shelter, carpet isdifficult to maintain.

We will work with other sources to raise the remaining fundsneeded for all of our capital projects. We’re fortunate that we’ve alreadyreceived funding for some of the projects through the Goppert Foundation. Toclose the gap, we have requests out to other funders, as well.

In addition to funding, we’re always looking forgroups to help us with the labor for our capital projects. For example, a groupof Home Depot employees are currently priming and painting all the exteriortrim for the entire Lee’s Summit campus. Other groups have done interiorpainting, tiling, and landscaping.

Do you belong to group that would like to get involved in a project? Please contactour Volunteer Manager, Gretchen, to discuss the possibilities: 816-257-9342 orgschmitz@hopehouse.net.

Topeka, KS Repeals Domestic Violence Law

2011-10-13T14:22:00.000-05:00

Outrage, disbelief, horror: these are all the feelings I have had sincehearing about the Topeka, Kansas City Council and their decision to repeal their domestic violence law.

You can read more about it here.

I first saw an email about it and I immediately thought itwas a hoax. I contacted a Kansas colleague and asked if this was true. To myabsolute horror, it wasn’t a joke.

Anthony S. Bush/AP Photo

How did the city of Topeka come to this? The County DistrictAttorney refused to prosecute misdemeanors due to budget cuts. Last year half of their misdemeanors were domesticviolence cases.

Then the City said they couldn’t afford it either. So what was their solution? Repealthe law so domestic violence is no longer a crime in the city of Topeka in a play to force the County to step up.

REALLY?! That’s your solution? For the city and the county to play games with people’s lives is outrageous and unacceptable.

Victims of domestic violence do not matter to them; they arenothing but a cost to the city - one that they don’t want to incur. So the mostvulnerable citizens are tossed aside in a political game to see who will givein first.

It makes me both incredibly sad and angry. We have worked so hard to let victims of domesticviolence know that they matter; that they are worthy and deserving of a betterlife. We’ve worked to let them know that they don’t have to live in fear; thatjust because they are in a relationship with somebody doesn’t mean they can beabused.

The City of Topeka shattered that in one vote. Victimadvocates in Topeka must start from scratch. They and the victims they workwith are in my thoughts. Hopefully, someday soon the politics will be over and victimsof domestic violence in Topeka will have the protection they deserve. But howmany lives will be lost while they wait to be thought of as more than a budgetline item?
____________________

UPDATE: After the City of Topeka voted torepeal their domestic violence law and a national outcry ensued, the County DistrictAttorney’s office has decided to once handle the prosecution of these cases. However, the domestic violence law is still repealed in the City of Topeka.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

2011-10-05T14:00:00.000-05:00

One of these four girls will experience domestic violence in their lives.
Photo by memoossa @ sxc.hu.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. Every year inOctober programs across the country work to bring more awareness to thisdevastating issue that affects so many people in our country and across theworld.

At least 1 in 4 women at some time in their life will be a victim of domesticviolence. That means if I stood in a room with my mother, sister, and oneco-worker, one of us will have been touched by domestic violence! It’s shockingwhen you put it in perspective like that.

For so long this issue has stayed behind closed doors. Itwas never discussed because it was a “family issue”. The more we can do tobring it into the light, the closer we are to ending it.

Even if you are not in a relationship that is violent, this is an issue thataffects us all. Why? Because the cost ofdomestic violence to the US economy is more than $8.3 billion¹.This cost includes medical care, mental health services, and lost productivity(time away from work and getting less done for not being able to focus on work).

On top of the economic issues, domestic violence is everyone’s issue because wehave an obligation to look out for our fellow human beings. It’s not ok thatpeople live in terror every day. It’s not ok that children are afraid of theirfathers (or mothers). It’s not ok that ateenage girl is hounded with hundreds of texts from her boyfriend asking “whereare you?” and “who are you with?”

By bringing attention to the issue, we are also letting people know that help is available. Please visit our website: www.hopehouse.netto see what you can do to get involved. Lives depend on it.

1Max W, Rice DP, Finkelstein E, Bardwell RA, Leadbetter S. The economic toll of intimate partner violence against women in the United States. Violence and Victims 2004;19(3):259-72.)

What Does An Abuser Look Like?

2011-09-28T13:20:00.001-05:00

Photo by Ale Paiva @ sxc.hu.

What does an abuser look like? Can you pick out an abuserwalking down the street? Do they have outward signs that they are abusive?

If we could tell that someone was abusive by the way theylooked, then it would be so easy to stay away from them and never get involvedin the first place. Unfortunately, none of the abusers I have come into contactwith have ABUSER tattooed on their forehead.

Abusers can be anyone. They are doctors, police officers,judges, politicians, plumbers, teachers, and even ministers. There is no set of demographics that can betied to abusers. They are in allsocio-economic classes, races, ages, religions and educational backgrounds.

There is no typical abuser, but they do appear to have somecommon characteristics such as jealousy, possessiveness, and low self esteem. Theirsense of identity is tied to their partner. Abusers are not “out of controllunatics” that you can just pick out in a crowd. They are everyday people thatterrorize their loved ones in their own homes.

Their abuse is controlled and targeted only at the partner and sometimes theirchildren. They are not attacking strangers on the street or getting into brawlswith strangers. They are focusing their energy and abuse on their family.

You will recall that domestic violence is about power andcontrol. Abusers want to keep their loved one under their control by whatevermeans necessary.

There is still research to be done on abusers: what makessome people abusive and others not, especially when they have watched thisbehavior as children and grown up with it. Why do some go on to abuse andothers not?

There are still many questions about the human personality thatremain unanswered. I am very interested in learning if abusers have anti-socialpersonality disorder? Are they sociopaths? There is more work to do in thisarea to learn the answers to those questions.

A Day In the Life: Women's Advocate

2011-09-21T15:43:00.000-05:00

Our guest blogger today is Lori, a Hope House Women's Advocate.

As a Women’s Advocate here at Hope House, I have many different roles. No day—or hour for that matter—is ever the same.

Today when I came into work, I spent the first few hours providing general support to the women and children who reside in shelter:

helped a client her medications
helped a client take her child’s temperature
put new sheets on the beds for an incoming family
assisted a group of clients in working out a laundry schedule

Advocate answers the hotline.
Photo by nota @ sxc.hu

In the midst of all of that, I answered the 24-hour hotline, which is where most women first access Hope House services. The woman on the hotline told me that her husband is verbally and physically abusive towards her. Her husband has been drinking tonight and she knows that she and her children are not safe staying at home. We make arrangements to bring them in to shelter.

When this woman and her children arrived in shelter, I made sure they had something to eat, and that they had no immediate medical needs. Then, I completed an intake process with her where I gathered general information about her situation and needs.

Tomorrow, I will meet with her again to provide her with information about power and control, red flags, the cycle of domestic violence, and safety planning.

I spend the next couple of hours of my shift meeting individually with the women who are assigned to my caseload. During these individual meetings, I assist the women in recognizing their personal strengths and in setting goals. I provide a variety of resources and information to empower the women to make progress towards their personal goals.

No two days are ever the same in shelter, so I have learned to be very flexible. Although working as a Women’s Advocate can at times be a busy job, being able to provide support and assistance to the women in shelter is my passion. It’s most definitely a rewarding job!

Back to School

2011-09-16T11:46:00.000-05:00

Photo by gugacurado @ sxc.hu

It seems like just yesterday I was writing about how kids spend their summer days in shelter and now it’s back to school time. As we say goodbye to summer, we welcome the fall and the new schedules that it brings to shelter.

When a family comes to shelter, one of the first tasks is to enroll the children in school. When deciding on where her children will go to school, Mom has to weigh the risks of the children attending their home school versus the challenges that come with starting in a new school.

It is so important to get the children into a routine and get their schedules in order. This structure can help the children feel “normal” and feel like they have some control. Living in a home where there is domestic violence can create chaos and a feeling of being out of control. It’s amazing how normalcy, routine and structure can really help a child to feel calm and more relaxed in their environment.

Photo by hvaldez1 @ sxc.hu

When kids are dealing with trauma and violence at home, they often struggle in school, finding it hard to focus and stay on top of things. Once in shelter, there is a focus on helping to make school a priority and addressing any educational issues that children are facing.

We always have a need for volunteer tutors to help the children get caught up and to work with those who are struggling and facing challenges. If you can spare some time to help a child with their schoolwork, please contact Gretchen at 816-257-9342 or gschmitz@hopehouse.net.

United Way

2011-09-07T15:22:00.000-05:00

Greater Kansas City United Way (GKCUW) will be kicking off their 2011 campaign on September 8^th. Hope House is proud to be a United Way partner agency. We recognize the good work done through United Way, and we will be involved in the campaign as well.

2011 United Way Campaign Focus

For this year’s campaign, GKCUW will focus on education, income and health.

Education strategies will focus on helping children and youth attain their full potential.
Income strategies are helping people achieve financial independence and stability.
Health strategies are focused on helping people and their neighborhoods to be safe, healthy and thriving.
All strategies are focused on ensuring that people in Greater Kansas City have all the building blocks for a good life.

How United Way Helps Hope House

We do our part to work with United Way to ensure they have a successful campaign. If their campaign is successful, then the agencies they fund will be more successful as well.

Approximately 6% of our budget comes from United Way, funding our shelter and our therapeutic services. We agree with United Way that when people are safe they have a better chance of being healthy and thriving.

How Hope House Helps United Way

Our partnership includes participating in the United Way Day of Caring and assisting with the campaign. We have our own internal campaign with our staff members and we will go out to the community to talk with other businesses. If your company doesn’t do an internal campaign I encourage you to start one this year.

If your business does a United Way campaign, you can request a speaker from Hope House. We would be honored to come to your place of work to talk about what we do and how your dollars help us meet our goals. If you’re interested, please contact Gretchen at gschmitz@hopehouse.net or 816-257-9342.

It Can’t Happen To Me

2011-08-31T14:13:00.001-05:00

Photo by Ben Earwicker, Garrison Photography
www.garrisonphoto.org/sxc

Many people tell me they have never known anyone who was a victim of domestic violence. Yet, the statistics tell us that nearly three out of four (74%) Americans personally know someone who is or has been abused by their partner.

The sheer volume of people who have had domestic violence in their lives makes it difficult for us to not know someone who been affected by domestic violence.

The Statistics

The statistics show that one out of every four women will at some point in her life be impacted by domestic violence. That’s 25% of the population! It’s staggering to think of the number of people who "know” domestic violence; who have lived it and experience it on a daily basis. With numbers like that, it’s amazing to me that so many people think it could never happen to them.

All Demographic Groups Are At Risk

When you look at the statistics about domestic violence you’ll see that it affects everyone. Some groups are more at risk, but no one is immune.

· Women ages 20-24 are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.

· Women of all races are about equally vulnerable to violence by an intimate partner.

· Intimate partner violence affects people regardless of income. However, people with lower annual income (below $25K) are at a 3-times higher risk of intimate partner violence than people with higher annual income (over $50K).

· On average between 1993 and 2004, residents of urban areas experienced highest level of nonfatal intimate partner violence.

· Approximately one in five female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner.

We all need to be aware of what domestic violence is, how it occurs, and what to do if you find yourself in a violent situation, because unfortunately, it can happen to anyone.

If you or someone you know needs help, please call our 24/7 hotline at 816-461-HOPE (4673) or visit the Hope House website.

Statistics from the Domestic Violence Resource Center website.

The Safety Net

2011-08-25T12:06:00.000-05:00

If you look on our website or in our brochures, you’ll see:

“Hope House services form a safety net of prevention, education and support for more than 10,000 victims of domestic violence every year.”

So what does the term “safety net” mean?

What’s a Safety Net?

Photo by Stephanie Bennett Vogt
@ spaceclear.com.

When a woman enters shelter, her life has just taken a drastic turn. A million thoughts are swirling through her head:

How will the kids get to school?
Where will they get clothing to wear to school?
Where am I going to live now?
I was a stay-at-home mom. How will I survive without an income?

Hope House provides a web of services - a “safety net” - to keep her afloat so her life doesn’t continue to spiral downward.

Services Included in the Safety Net

The safety net includes services to handle immediate needs like:

A safe place to sleep
Help figuring out how she’ll get to work/the kids will get to school
Clothing and personal items
Three meals a day

But it also covers long-term needs such as:

Help finding a place to live
Help with legal issues like divorce or custody
Therapy

This list doesn’t begin to list all the services available. Our advocates also help our clients navigate the maze of services available from other agencies like applying for government assistance, or getting mental health counseling.

Photo by Lisa Truscott @
aerialartiste.com

Think Trapeze Artist at the Circus

Just like the trapeze artist at the circus whose life depends on the safety net that will catch them if they fall, Hope House services are here to keep a woman from hitting rock bottom while she transitions from being a victim to being a survivor.

The Inner City Myth

2011-08-18T11:03:00.001-05:00

Valerie Avore/The Epoch Times

A common myth of domestic violence is that it only happens in the inner city; it doesn’t happen in the suburbs. This myth is very similar to the misconception that it only happens to poor people.

For some, it can be very difficult to believe or acknowledge that something so horrible could be happening in your neighborhood, by people you know and care about. It’s easier to think it only happens in segments of society; to “other” people.

So it’s common to assign it to a group that you are not a part of, whether that be poor, rich, suburban, inner city, white, black, Christian, Muslim, or non-believer—whatever “label” you want to assign so it’s not a part of you and your world.

Unfortunately, domestic violence transcends all worlds so it will intersect with you at some point. It happens everywhere, to every group of society. We can’t ignore it, and we can’t assign it to someone else so we can avoid addressing it.

If we are ever going to end the cycle of violence, we must first acknowledge it and then address the underlying problems.

Hope House has two locations in the suburbs of Kansas City. We are full every day with people from suburbs across the metro area. It IS happening here.

The Lee’s Summit location was started after three women were murdered by their husbands. How many homicides does Lee’s Summit have in one year? Not many— most years, none. To have three in one year was eye opening for many. It moved a group of people to start the fundraising so we could have a shelter in the city to address the need.

We must see it as it is, acknowledge it, and work toward solutions. It takes a village to raise a child and it takes the entire community to stop the violence. Together, we can break the cycle and work toward a future where there is no domestic violence.

Hope & All That Jazz

2011-08-10T15:01:00.000-05:00

Our largest fundraiser of the year is fast approaching. Hope and All That Jazz will be held at the Muehlebach Hotel on August 20. Festivities start at 5:30.

The event activities include fabulous food and drinks, the opportunity to bid on some of the best auction items you'll ever see, dancing to the sounds of the Kerry Strayer band, and an opportunity to spend time with friends and learn more about Hope House.

It isn't too late to join us! For ticket and sponsorship information, go to the Jazz page on our website, or you can contact Libby at 816-257-9334 or lconnor@hopehouse.net.

For the first time, we're starting the Jazz festivities a couple of weeks early! We've set up an online auction which features unique items like you’ll find at our Jazz event such as:

• A Danger Zone Flying Experience where you’ll be flying the plane in dog fight. Hello, Maverick?

• An autographed Eagles Greatest Hits album, signed by all the original band members.

• Sporting gear like a Nike golf shirt and a wind jacket that has sleeves that detach at two different lengths.

The online auction continues through 5PM CDT on August 16. Get registered now and join in the fun!

The proceeds from the online auction and the Jazz event support our daily operations. The dollars raised are crucial for us to maintain the level of programming we currently offer. By participating in this event, you could have a great time, and help to save lives. What could be better than that? We look forward to seeing you there.

Summer in Shelter

2011-08-03T14:00:00.002-05:00

Photo by kevinrohr @ sxc.hu

For those of us in Missouri and most places around the country this has been a scorcher of a summer. We’ve tried hard to make this hot weather as bearable as possible for those who are in shelter. We’re grateful that the air conditioning has worked most of the summer… just one outage for a few hours, and it was fixed immediately.

Besides the heat, what exactly happens around shelter in the summer? The same things that happen at your home in the summer: parents work, some kids go to summer school, and other kids play and enjoy their time off from school.

We strive to make the summer as much fun as possible for the kids staying here. We have water play days where they can run through sprinklers, and play on Slip ‘N’ Slides. They ride their bikes all over the campus. You can hear them squealing as they see the fish swimming around in the water garden. They even go on field trips. But mostly, they do what kids do everywhere: they have fun.

There are some up sides to being in shelter. There is always someone to play with and always someone to talk to. It seems that boredom isn’t an option for our kids; there are too many things going on and too many fun possibilities.

Kids in shelter also have the opportunity to spend time with the Children’s Therapist. This can be very fun; working through issues and obstacles doesn’t have to be a chore. It can be done through art and play and is just as therapeutic and long lasting as other traditional forms of therapy. This time with the therapist allows the children time to focus on themselves, and their needs, and to work through the issues of the trauma that has gone on in their lives.

I’m grateful we’re able to provide the children with everything they need so that they can focus on what they need to be doing: just being kids.

3rd Party Events

2011-07-27T14:00:00.001-05:00

What is a 3rd party event? Rather than being hosted by Hope House staff, a 3rd party event is hosted by someone in the community for the benefit of Hope House.

Events are varied and have included:

% of sales for a given time period
golf tournaments
music events
donation for Hope House in exchange for admission to event

The great part of it is that the sky is the limit! We are so excited when we hear a new creative idea that will help us.

We have several 3rd party events are coming up. Participating in them is a fun and easy way of showing your support for Hope House.

August 1 through August 8 - Brio Tuscan Grille at 500 Nichols Rd in the Plaza will donate 20% of your purchase when you mention Hope House.
Macy’s is having their Shop for a Cause event on August 27. Tickets are $5 and you receive 25% off all your purchases either in store or online. Hope House is able to keep all of the money from the sale of the tickets. You can purchase tickets by calling Libby at 816-257-9334 or visiting the Shop For A Cause page on our website.
Birdies Fore Hope is a women’s golf tournament on October 3at Oakwood Country Club. For tickets or sponsorships, call Libby at 816-257-9334 or visit the Birdies page on our website.

If you are interested in hosting a 3rd party event, please feel free to email us. We would love to hear from you.

Community Partnership Building

2011-07-20T14:00:00.000-05:00

We are excited to have our new Community Partnership Building ready to begin offering services to our clients. We renovated the old Therapy building to make space for a medical/dental room and a new salon room.

We have been truly blessed to have so many people offer to help in the past. But it’s been a struggle finding a way to get the clients to the clinic or salon that is offering their services. Transportation and child care are on-going issues that we have had to overcome in order to utilize these donated services.

This new building will allow us to offer these services on-site, thereby eliminating transportation and childcare issues.

So far we have received:

a dental chair
an medical exam table
a grant from KC Impact to purchase the necessary supplies for the medical room
an X-ray machine
dental tools
blood pressure cuffs, stethoscopes, thermometers
shampoo sink and chair
salon chairs
dryer chair

We are still looking for supplies for our salon room. We are in need of curling irons, hair straighteners, blow dryers, scissors, and products for perms, coloring, etc.

We are interested in working with anyone that is a dentist, doctor, nurse, nurse practitioner, or hair stylist that is interested in coming to our Independence campus to offer services to our clients.

If you know of anyone that might be willing to donate their time and services, please encourage them to contact Gretchen at gschmitz@hopehouse.net or 816-257-9342.

Kids and Philanthropy

2011-07-13T15:58:00.000-05:00

Chandler

One of the best parts of my job is getting to meet our donors and connecting with those who care about our work as much as I do. I really love to meet the young people who are learning about philanthropy in a very real way.

Kids learn about us through their schools, many which are now requiring a certain number of community service hours for graduation. For some, it’s a family tradition. Others just want to give back and choose us as their recipient. We work to accommodate the interests of each of these kids. Most often, they come up with something really special on their own.

One such young person is Chandler, whose grandmother gives him $10 for every “A” he receives in the school year. Last year he saved all the “A” money he received, $300 to be exact, and he went out and bought items from our Urgent Needs List to donate to us. We were thrilled when he brought in mountains of toilet paper, diapers and paper towels, among other items.

We have had several kids who asked their birthday party guests for a donation to Hope House in lieu of gifts. How special to be able to put others’ needs before your own, especially on your birthday. I know that is so difficult to do at any age.

Playground built by Justin

We’ve had boys working on their Eagle Scout projects that choose wonderful projects at Hope House. Most recently we had Justin, 15, who completely renovated our playground on the Independence campus. He turned a blank space into a wonderful play space for the kids in shelter.

Young people are able to connect with others in need in ways that are so uplifting and truly inspirational to me. I’ve realized that you’re never too young to want to help others, and it’s our job to help these kids attain their goals to help those in need.

Domestic Violence Doesn't Discriminate

2011-07-06T14:00:00.001-05:00

Photo by Gronvik @ sxc.hu

One of the most prevalent myths about domestic violence is that it only happens in poor families and in the inner city. Statistics clearly demonstrate that this isn’t the case at all.

Domestic violence crosses all socio-economic levels and happens in the inner city, the suburbs and in rural areas. There are no boundaries. However, we do have some trends.
· Intimate partner violence affects people regardless of income. However, people with lower annual income (below $25K) are at a 3-times higher risk of intimate partner violence than people with higher annual income (over $50K). Please note that those with less resources are more likely to report incidents of violence.1

· On average between 1993 and 2004, residents of urban areas experienced highest levels of non-fatal intimate partner violence. Residents in suburban and rural areas were equally likely to experience such violence, about 20% less than those in urban areas.1
Our statistics show that 87% of the women in our shelter are at poverty level. We know from our work with our clients that those who come into shelter have fewer resources. Shelter is often the only resource they have available to them.

Research is less available regarding women of higher socio economic status, but we do know that they don’t seem to choose to enter shelter. Perhaps this is due to feelings of shame, lower levels of reporting the abuse, or a wider network of resources available to them.

Even if a woman lived in a middle or upper class home, when she leaves the relationship her socio economic status can change dramatically. She may immediately find herself homeless and penniless.

Clearly, the violence is happening to all economic levels. It is our goal to reach all of those impacted by domestic violence and ensure that they are aware of the resources available to them and have the means to access them.

1 From the Domestic Violence Resource Center: Bureau of Justice Statistics, Intimate Partner Violence in the U.S. 1993-2004, 2006.

Lethality Assessment Program

2011-06-29T15:07:00.000-05:00

In May we were able to work with the Safe Family Coalition to deliver cookies to all of the police officers that have been a part of the Lethality Assessment Project (LAP) as a way to say thank you for their commitment to those who are impacted by domestic violence.

The LAP was started as a pilot project with the cities of Lee’s Summit, Grandview, Raytown and Kansas City police departments. The police partner with the local domestic violence agency in carrying out the program, which is based on research on lethality for battered women.

The program is simple: when police respond to a domestic violence scene, they ask the victim a series of research-based questions. The way the victim answers these questions can determine the level of lethality for that victim. Based on the answers, the police officers will talk to the victims about safety and the concern that they have for the victim.

The officers then call our hotline and speak to an advocate with the goal of getting the victim to speak to the advocate. They will safety plan, discuss resources - such as shelter - and to make a follow up appointment to further discuss the situation.

The program has worked extremely well. The pilot project ended in October of 2009, but all participating departments have continued with the program. We have also added the Blue Springs police department to the list of participating departments.

We know that only 3% of domestic violence homicide victims had ever availed themselves to services prior to their deaths. We, as DV programs, have worked to reach this group of victims but have not had much success. Through this program, we are able to reach this very high risk group of people.

We are grateful for the participation of all of the police departments, the administration and the officers that complete the surveys. With the support of the officers on the street, we are working to save lives.

Are Battered Women Crazy?

2011-06-22T14:31:00.000-05:00

Photo by coloniera2 via sxc.hu

Many people think they are because they don’t leave right away, they return to the abuser after they have left, or they think that the abuser is going to change. But the short answer to the question is an emphatic “NO”. Battered women do not like the abuse, they do not ask for the abuse, they are not stupid and they are not “crazy”.

Battered women are an extremely resourceful and very strong group of women. They endure so much and figure out a way to survive and cope with what is happening within their families. They carry feelings of shame and hurt, mistrust, lack of hope, low self esteem, and abandonment.

Battered women know better than anyone else how to make a very bad situation one that will work for the time being. When someone doesn’t leave immediately it doesn’t mean she asked for it or that she likes it. What it means is the timing isn’t right for some reason.

Battered women make decisions based on the resources available to them at the time. Hope House works hard to make sure women know about our services and the ways that we can help. We never want “lack of resources” to be a reason that someone stays in the relationship longer.

No, battered women are not “crazy”. They are normal people in incredibly difficult circumstances doing the best they can.

Help Us Win Pepsi Refresh Project

2011-06-15T14:00:00.005-05:00

People are buzzing and there is great excitement at Hope House as we have made it into the voting round for the Pepsi Refresh Project. We have tried for months to get our project in with no success, until this month!

What is Pepsi Refresh? Pepsi is funding ideas that “refresh your world”. They say if we can dream it, submit it and get enough votes, they will help make it happen.

We hope to win $50,000 to help provide free legal services to domestic violence victims. We ask that everyone vote for us and share this information with your friends.

You can vote three ways every day:

1) Through this link: http://pep.si/kJS4mL You can log in through your Facebook account, or sign up for a Pepsi account. Or do both and get more votes!

2) Scan this QR code with your smartphone to easily vote by text (download the reader for free from your app store). Or text 107076 to 73774. (Standard text messaging rates apply.)

3) Get Power Votes on specially-marked Pepsi products. Click on “Power Vote for this idea” on the Hope House Pepsi Refresh page. Enter your power code and get up to 100 extra votes.

We need to be one of the top 10 vote-getters in our category to win $50,000. Please support us and vote every day throughout June to help us give our clients the support

Guardian Program

2011-06-08T14:45:00.000-05:00

Today’s guest blogger is Kelli Stallman, Coordinator for the Guardian Program.

Hope House’s Guardian Program provides supervised visitation or exchange for non-custodial parents and their children. Our client families are mainly ordered into supervised visits by Adult Abuse Courts, Family Court, or Children’s Division.

These families have issues that range from domestic violence, child abuse, substance abuse, mental health issues, or a parent never having been in a child’s life.

Because of the many problems that are faced by these families, the Program is arranged so that custodial and non-custodial parents park in different parking lots, and arrive at different times to avoid any chance meetings.

We have therapists supervise the visits between the non-custodial parent and the child. An off-duty police officer is on site at all times. The families receive an hour of visitation a week free of charge, and can schedule additional time for a fee.

As the Coordinator for the Guardian Program, I have the pleasure of working directly with the survivors of domestic violence, as well as their children who have witnessed the violence between parents.

Often times, the children have themselves been victims of some type of abuse. The Guardian Program staff also work directly with the non-custodial parent, which is often the identified abuser. My job is extremely rewarding. I watch the kids grow and change, and see them heal from the abuse they have seen and experienced.

When I have a child from the program run up to give me a hug and a huge smile, it hits home why I do the job I do. How often do you get a card from a child you barely know thanking you for what you do, or drawing you a personal Christmas card? I am fortunate to receive several of these every year.

Sometimes what is thought of as the hardest job, by nature of its requirements, can be the most rewarding. I look forward to the drawings, the hugs, and the smiles that greet me when the kids come in. That is what I look forward to each day.

The Bridge SPAN Program

2011-06-02T12:36:00.000-05:00

Hope House’s Bridge SPAN program provides on-site, 24 hour on-call advocacy services at four hospitals in Eastern Jackson County, in the Kansas City metro area. We provide emotional support, domestic violence education, safety planning, shelter services, assistance filing for orders of protection, civil/legal referrals, community resources and more.

Victims do not always come into contact with the Bridge SPAN program through the ER. We may respond to calls from labor and delivery, in-patient, radiology, pain clinic, physical therapy or other clinics. We also provide our services to employees and visitors to the hospital. A key component to our program is educating and training medical staff on the screening process and how to provide the best medical care for their patients experiencing domestic violence.

Our program could not exist without our volunteers and on-call staff. They dedicate their time to helping victims of domestic violence. When a call comes in from a hospital, shelter staff will contact the on-call Bridge SPAN person, who then responds to the appropriate hospital, day and night. They help plant the seed of hope and show victims that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Here is an example of someone we helped through the Bridge SPAN program:

Mary* was in ICU after being stabbed by her daughter Lilly’s ex-boyfriend. Mary watched her granddaughter, Zoey, during the day while Lilly worked. Mary worked at night and Lilly during the day, so Zoey was always cared for by one of them.

The ex-boyfriend knew Mary watched Zoey during the day. He broke into Mary’s home with thoughts of kidnapping Zoey and killing Mary. Mary and Lilly were both at home when he came through the front door. Lilly was not hurt physically, but Mary was seriously hurt.

We were able to provide shelter, therapy and legal services to the family, helping them to rebuild their life through this difficult time. Mary was able to leave shelter, move to a new home, and return to work.

If the Bridge SPAN program sounds like something you’d like to be involved in, find out more at http://www.hopehouse.net/donate-your-time-hope-house.

A Day in the Life of a Court Advocate

2011-05-25T15:19:00.001-05:00

Today’s guest blogger is Sara Decamp, Hope House Court Advocate.

Imagine that the police were just at your house because your spouse assaulted you. Your spouse is arrested and the police leave you with a piece of paper telling you when your court date is. Would you know what to do next, and what to expect at court?

Photo courtesy of Sammylee at stock.xchng

Now imagine that you need protection from your abuser. Would you know the where to start or how to fill out paperwork?

I feel fortunate that I am part of a team that is able to assist victims in navigating through the often confusing court system. When people ask “What is a typical day like for you?” the real answer is there is no typical day. I can plan a day out in my head, but as soon as I hit the door that plan usually crumbles.

In the court program, we get police reports from the different departments and make contact with the victims by phone, letter or face to face, if necessary. What can start out a simple phone call to see how they are doing can turn into an all day event of trying to safety plan, filling out paperwork for orders of protection, perhaps finding shelter, or making more police reports for this one person.

When in court, we hear the stories that the abusers make up, see the intimidation that they try on the victims and see them, many times, escape consequences.

These are the tough points of the job; seeing a victim reduced to tears because she is terrified to testify or because there just wasn’t enough evidence and the abuser gets off on the charges.

It would be so easy to just throw your hands up and say “Why bother?” at this point. But when a victim who has avoided court in the past because of fear finds her voice and finally stand up to the person who has kept her down for so long, that trumps everything.

She's Leaving Shelter... Now What?

2011-05-18T14:33:00.000-05:00

I am often asked how we help people once they leave shelter. That answer will depend on what level of involvement a client wants to have with us, and what needs she has. We will continue to work with clients as long as we can and they want to receive our support and services.

Any client leaving our shelter can access our group and individual outreach therapy services, for both herself and her children. We are able to offer our Transitional Housing program to some of our clients, which is extremely helpful for those who are facing obstacles related to employment and housing.

If a client is struggling and needs temporary assistance with food, clothing or other necessities, we can help with that, as well. Unfortunately, people sometimes encounter difficult times and just need a helping hand; we are fortunate to be able to assist our clients in those situations and hopefully prevent a crisis from occurring.

We can assist clients leaving shelter with items that will help them set up their homes. We are fortunate to have a caring community that blesses us with donations of furniture and household items. Those items can be passed on to our clients transitioning out of shelter, and those who are in our outreach program.

We will work with clients on an individual basis and try to assist them with whatever their needs are. If we are not able to help them, we will work to find someone that can. We are known for being creative and figuring out solutions to the problems presented.

Emotional Abuse

2011-05-11T14:00:00.001-05:00

In an earlier blog I wrote about the different types of physical abuse. Today I would like to focus on emotional abuse.

In my experience, this type of abuse can be extremely devastating to the victim. Contrary to the children’s rhyme, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”, words do and can hurt… and hurt very deeply.

Emotional abuse is a part of the pattern of controlling behavior. This is a particularly vicious way of hurting someone by cutting to the very core of their being.

Many of those who have been victims of domestic violence will tell you that it was the accusations, the name calling, and the demeaning words that really damaged their self esteem. The physical wounds healed, but the emotional scars take much longer.

Emotional abuse causes the victim to question their self worth, their ability to make decisions, their ability to parent their children, and their ability to really trust their perception of the situation.

They start to believe what is being said to them: that they are stupid, they will lose their children, they can’t survive without the abuser, they are ugly. The list goes on and on. They begin to question everything about themselves and their worth and value as a person.

The therapists at Hope House work with the clients on addressing the issue of their low self esteem and help the clients to begin to understand what has happened to them. They work with them to trust themselves and their decisions.

Healing from the wounds of emotional abuse can be a difficult road of recovery but it is wonderful to see someone blossom and become their own person again.

That is our work: to help guide people on their journey of self discovery. Sometimes for the very first time; other times, it is a reclaiming of their lost self. Either way it is an honor for us to accompany them on their journey.

Hope Takes Flight Celebrity Golf Classic

2011-05-04T14:00:00.001-05:00

We are looking forward to our upcoming Hope Takes Flight Celebrity Golf Tournament. The tournament is on Monday, May 23rd and we are still seeking sponsors and signing up teams.

The tournament is one of our annual fundraisers with the proceeds supporting our daily operations. Proceeds from our special events support a large portion of our annual budget.

This tournament is an opportunity for people to help Hope House but have fun at the same time. In my opinion, that is the best of all worlds: to help while having fun.

We start the day with brunch and then golfing on a wonderful course. Each team has a local celebrity join them in the festivities.

When they are finished on the course, they head in to the club house for more food and an opportunity to bid on items in our silent auction. Of course, it wouldn’t be a tournament without prizes for the top three winning teams!

If you haven’t joined us at this event, now is the time. It was a sell out last year, so don’t wait too long or you might miss out.

Teams and sponsorships can be purchased on our website. If you have questions, feel free to contact Libby at 816-257-9334 or lconnor@hopehouse.net.

Grand Opening Celebration

2011-04-28T10:52:00.000-05:00

Our grand opening celebration is almost here. On Friday we will celebrate the transformation of our Independence campus, and the hard work and accomplishments of so many.

Our campaign included constructing a new Therapy building and renovating the four existing buildings on our campus. What an incredible change. The campus is absolutely beautiful and we are so excited about all of the services we will be able to provide our clients.

The therapy building includes three group rooms that are large enough to accommodate the growing number of clients seeking our therapy services. It includes three observation rooms to monitor students and interns in their work with our clients.

The building also includes a workout room and large space for kids to play when they are not able to be outdoors. We are so excited to be able to focus on the physical health of our clients and allow for opportunities that we have not been able to provide previously.

Our shelter was completely remodeled. It’s an absolutely beautiful space for the clients to live in as they recover from the trauma that they have experienced.

The old therapy building has a completely new function - it now houses our Community Partnership Building, which includes a medical/dental room, as well as a salon. We can now provide a well-equipped space for our community partners to offer their services to our clients, helping them to address their many needs.

We are thrilled to be at this juncture of our journey and are so grateful to everyone who has helped us to get here.

What Is Abuse?

2011-04-20T14:00:00.000-05:00

I am very aware of how differently that question can be answered depending on who is answering and their frame of reference. I want to spend time today talking about physical abuse. This seems to be what most people think about when they think about domestic violence although it is only one form of abuse that domestic violence victims suffer.

The definition of physical abuse in Wikipedia is: abuse involving contact intended to cause feelings of intimidation, pain, injury, or other physical suffering or bodily harm.

Most often when we think of physical abuse we think of some very obvious ways such as hitting, punching, slapping, pushing, and choking. However there are other less thought of forms of physical abuse such as biting, denying needed medical care, depriving a person of sleep, or forcing someone to use drugs or alcohol against their will as well as attempts to drown, exposure to heat and cold, and poison. Unfortunately, the ways that abusers physically abuse their partners makes a long list. The clients that we serve have experienced all of these types of abuse, and more.

What we know from our experience in this work is that the abuse often doesn’t start as physical; it often starts as emotional abuse and then over time progresses into the physical realm. Research also shows that as the relationship continues, the abuse will most likely become progressively worse and intensify in severity. What may start out as a push or slap will most likely progress to shoving, punching and worse.

Much of our work with clients focuses on education and safety planning. We want to put them in the best position to make the necessary decisions about their lives and their future. Understanding the abuse is the first step in moving toward a life free of abuse.

Awareness Week for Crime Victims and Volunteers

2011-04-13T13:51:00.000-05:00

This week we recognize and appreciate two very important groups of people: crime victims and volunteers. During this week we have an opportunity to pause and reflect on those in our country who have been victimized by crime and to honor those who offer service to them.

It seems fitting to me that we should honor these groups during the same week as they seem to go hand in hand, especially at Hope House. We provide vital services to victims of crime, and we could not begin to do what we do without the assistance of volunteers in every aspect of our agency.

The theme for this year's Crime Victims Awareness Week also seems appropriate for us at Hope House: “Reshaping the Future and Honoring the Past”. We are settling into our new Therapy Building, and enjoying the newly renovated Shelter, and Court and Legal Services Building. We are also celebrating the new Community Partnership Building. There we are creating new relationships with our community volunteers and offering them a place to give of their talents and services.

As we strive to do every day, we will continue to honor and serve the individuals who have been victimized as they work to put their lives back together. We will continue to be thankful for the wonderful and committed volunteers who help us provide life saving services every day. We couldn’t, nor would we want to, do it without them.

Both groups of individuals enlighten us and enrich us through their experiences and their strengths. We honor them and continue our commitment to break the cycle of domestic violence.

Spring Fling - April 16, 2011

2011-04-06T14:00:00.002-05:00

Are you ready to head to Mexico? I know I am and you can join me on Saturday, April 16th as we present Spring Fling, Destination: Mexico.

This is our annual spring casino night which kicks off our event season. We moved the event into April hoping to avoid any chances of snow storms like we encountered last year. I am sure everyone remembers the spring snow storm we had last March? Yes, that was the day of our event and we were so blessed that over 160 people braved the weather and joined us in our festivities!

We will be at it again this year, playing roulette, craps, black jack, bingo and Texas hold ‘em. This year we’re very excited to be adding a giant plinko board and salsa dancing! So, there is something for everyone.

The doors will open at 6:30pm and gaming starts at 7pm. All festivities, including a live auction and prizes, will conclude by 10pm. Once again, the event will be held at the Hilton Garden Inn in Independence, which is exit #17, less than a mile off I-70.

We have wonderful event chairs, Tiffany Goddard and Courtney Goddard-Hawkinson, who are working hard to ensure the event is a huge success.

Sponsorships start at $500 and individual tickets are only $50 each and include a themed-cuisine buffet, gaming cash, two drink tickets and assigned seating. So plan on attending and having a fun filled evening, while helping Hope House provide desperately needed services to those whose lives have been impacted by domestic violence.

Sponsorships, tickets and more information are available on our website. Or you can contact Libby at 816-257-9334 or lconnor@hopehouse.net. We’re looking forward to seeing you on the 16th!

Early Childhood Program

2011-03-30T14:00:00.001-05:00

Hope House is committed to providing services to both children and their mothers. Often the services we offer to children also benefit mom. Our Early Childhood Program is an example of such a service.

The Early Childhood program offers licensed daycare for those children who reside in our shelter. It offers mom an opportunity to go to work or school without having to worry about the care her children are receiving, and it’s safe and fun for the kids.

A main goal of ours is for the kids to have the opportunity to be kids; to play and not have the worries that have plagued their family prior to coming into shelter. Our daycare offers this opportunity.

The rooms all meet licensing requirements and are stocked with age-appropriate toys that help the kids in their development. Kids spend time learning their colors, their ABCs and their numbers, and have an opportunity to work on their gross and fine motor skills.

It is wonderful to tour the daycare and hear the kids laughing and sharing with each other, or to go at naptime and see all of them nestled on their cots with their favorite toy or blanket to keep them company.

We are able to offer our staff a limited number of slots for childcare; it’s a benefit for staff, as well as another source of earned income for Hope House. An added benefit is that the shelter children are given the opportunity to play with other children who have not been traumatized. It has been an unexpected blessing for us as we are able to support our staff and clients at the same time.

To know that we are playing a part in helping kids recover from trauma and helping them reclaim their childhood is such an important part of our work. We are very proud of our program and the quality of services that we offer the children.

Does a Victim Ever Feel Safe?

2011-03-23T14:00:00.001-05:00

I am often asked if a victim of domestic violence ever feels safe. From my perspective the answer isn’t a simple one - just like everything else with domestic violence. The hard truth is that many survivors of domestic violence do not ever fully feel safe. They take steps to protect themselves and to free themselves from their abuser, but are constantly looking over their shoulders and always on alert.

If children are involved there can be a level of fear the entire time the parents have to have interaction regarding the children. Children can be used as a means of control and if custody orders require visits then interaction can be frequent and the level of fear more constant.

Women have fled their home states and moved across the country only to be found and the torment to start again. The feeling of safety ebbs away even more each time a phone number has to be changed or relocation is necessary. Even work can be a place of fear if the abuser knows the location and waits in the parking lot for his current or former partner to walk to her car at lunch or after work.

Women have told me that they only felt safe while their abuser was in prison or after their abuser passed away. Only then did the feeling of safety truly come to them.

Yes, some survivors of domestic violence are able to feel safe and go about their lives without the feeling of constant fear. I am happy for them and thankful for whatever part Hope House or other services might have played in helping that become a reality.

The sad fact is that the level of fear can depend on the abuser and his willingness to stop the abuse. Is he willing to stop tormenting her and let her live her life in peace? The responsibility lies with the abuser, not the victim. His actions, and the level at which he is held accountable for those actions, make all the difference.

Donations and Urgent Needs

2011-03-16T14:05:00.000-05:00

Can you imagine the amount of supplies it takes to meet the needs of 104 women and children every day? Well, I can tell you it takes a lot!

We do not charge our clients for our services or for the supplies they receive. It is important that they use their resources for things like school, rent, and gas to get work, etc. They do not need to be worrying about buying things like deodorant, toothpaste and shampoo.

Thankfully, neither do we. We do not have to budget for toilet paper, paper towels, diapers and other household needs. If we did, we know we would have to cut some of our services to accommodate the increase in the expenses.

Our supply of household items comes to us in a variety of ways. Individuals and groups will hold drives to bring in needed items; others have hosted parties with admission being a package of toilet paper or bottle of shampoo. Others learn of our needs through our Urgent Needs List, an email list of people who have asked to be alerted when we have an urgent need. We send out the need and instantly people respond. If you'd like to be added to our Urgent Needs List, please email us at blog@hopehouse.net.

We have several easy ways for you to help us get the supplies we need:

1) Go to our wishlist on http://www.amazon.com/ and have the items shipped to us. Seach for Hope House under Wish List, then look for our familiar logo.

2) Go to our website http://www.hopehouse.net/ and click on the Donate Now button. We will purchase the items ourselves with your donation.

3) Send/bring us gift cards for WalMart, Target or any place that sells the items we need.

Here are some items that are currently urgent needs. This list is also found on our website and is updated as needs change.

Paper Towels
Toilet paper
Adult cold medicine (all kinds)
Pillows
Towels

Wash cloths

Combs/brushes

Size 4 diapers

Ethnic hair care products

We are extremely grateful to the members of our communities who give so generously to help us meet these needs. Without all of you, we would have to turn our resources to these daily needs, rather than focusing on the services which help people deal with the pressing issues in their lives.

Point In Time Survey

2011-03-09T14:50:00.000-06:00

The National Network Against Domestic Violence (NNEDV) has released the results from their 5th annual Point In Time Study. This study is done once a year, to calculate the number of people across the country who are receiving domestic violence services on a given day (September 15, 2010).

This study gives us the opportunity to talk about the need in our country, and to highlight the services that are offered. It also allows us to see the unmet need and what work still needs to be done. This gives us information to discuss with our elected officials in order to address the needs of a very vulnerable population.

The national numbers are astounding to comprehend:

• 70,648 victims across the country received safe shelter.
• 33,129 received non-residential services.
• 23,522 hotline calls were answered
• 9,541 requests for services were unmet.

In Missouri on that day:

• 2,114 victims found safety in emergency shelters or transitional housing.
• 740 adults and children received non-residential services including groups and individual counseling.
• 286 people across the state were turned away due to lack of capacity.

Reports from the other programs were consistent with what we are seeing at Hope House: the economy has definitely impacted the number of people seeking services and resources in the community are down. The need continues to be overwhelming across our country.

The NNEDV website (www.nnedv.org ) reports: Across the nation on September 15, 2010, three women were murdered by their intimate partners. 36 babies were born to mothers living in domestic violence shelters. 391 survivors started new jobs. Three men committed suicide – one after murdering his wife, another after a failed attempt to kill his girlfriend, and the third after holding his partner hostage and a standoff with the police.

So we continue to be challenged by the ever increasing need, and we will continue to rise above the challenge and meet the needs of those we serve.

Legislative Breakfast

2011-02-25T15:31:00.000-06:00

L-R Missouri Representatives Brent Lasater,
Jeff Grisamore, Noel Torpey, Ira Anders

Hope House hosted a breakfast for our recently installed legislators on January 28th. We had the opportunity to meet our new representatives and re-engage with those who have been in office.

I love having their undivided attention to discuss what is happening at Hope House. It's a chance for us to say thank you for all that they do for their communities as well as to highlight the work we do, and the obstacles and challenges facing our clients.

We are able to advocate on our client’s behalf and to ensure that their needs are heard. We are extremely fortunate in Eastern Jackson County to have such wonderful representation and concern from our legislators. This is a difficult time for legislators facing another year of budget challenges and having to balance the needs of so many. I appreciate their willingness to come to the table and to hear our concerns.

I want to thank, Representatives Anders, Grisamore, Lasater, McManus, and Torpey; and Senator Kraus for taking time out of their busy schedules to attend our breakfast and tour our facility. I look forward to meeting with them throughout the year as we advocate for those who have been impacted by domestic violence.

Winter Weather

2011-02-16T15:07:00.001-06:00

With crazy winter weather this year, we at Hope House must be very aware of all the things that can go wrong which can have a huge impact on our clients living in shelter and those coming to us for services. We implement emergency contingencies and go into hyper-planning mode to ensure that we are prepared if the worst case scenario happens.

First and foremost, our responsibility is to those who are living with us and depend on us for their shelter and daily living needs. With school closings, we need to be prepared with enough food, as we’ll have the children here all day and will be feeding more than we normally would on a weekday.

We need to have back up plans for electrical outages and emergency staffing plans for those who are working in shelter and those who cannot get in to relieve them. We do intakes and proceed as any other day, just like any other 24-hour facility.

Our shelter and facilities staff outdid themselves this past storm. I am so appreciative of all of them and the way they handled the situation. They approached it with enthusiasm and determination. Shelter staff prepared themselves to stay for the long haul, and stay they did, doing 24+ hour shifts. They were real troopers.

Facilities staff came in with shovels and the wonderful snow blowers that we received from our donors. They went to work first on the cars of the shelter staff so that they could go home as relief had arrived, then they went to work on the parking lots and sidewalks so people could get around.

I am grateful to every one of them for their efforts and their dedication. They truly are heroes in my book. We can’t stop doing what we do because of the weather and I am grateful for the staff who keep it all going.

Valentine's Day

2011-02-09T14:00:00.001-06:00

Next week many people will hear from their significant other how much they are loved and how much they are appreciated. This will be shown with flowers, candy and perhaps a romantic dinner out. Of course, I am talking about celebrating Valentine's Day.

This is a wonderful holiday to celebrate with your loved one and to show them how much you care. However, this can be an extremely difficult holiday for those who have been experiencing domestic violence. The presence of flowers can have a different meaning if the only time you ever receive flowers is after a beating. What if the person who professes to love you also beats you? Calls you horrible names? Forces you to do things you don’t want to do?

For those who are in our shelter and outreach services, we work to make this day special by celebrating our uniqueness and our special value as individuals. We work with clients to accept who they are and to work through where they have been. We help them dig down deep inside and find that person who is special and worthy of love - especially their own self-love.

When you have been a victim of abuse you can lose your love for yourself. You learn to believe the things that were said about you - that you are unlovable and unworthy of anyone’s love, not even your own. For if you were worth something and lovable, then your partner would not have had to beat you, right? (Of course not! The responsibility of the abuse lies with the abuser, not the victim.)

I ask that as you celebrate Valentine's Day next week, you pause and remember the women and children who are in shelter and services at Hope House. They are working hard to recover from their experiences of abuse, hoping to find themselves and to love themselves again.

Knowing that someone reclaimed themselves and found their voice to profess their self worth and their worthiness of love is the best Valentine's Day present I can receive.

(Note: If you'd like to be a part of a Valentine's Day present we're working on for the women in our shelter, please visit our website www.hopehouse.net.)

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

2011-02-03T14:00:00.002-06:00

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. Many people don’t realize that domestic violence impacts not only adults, but young people as well.

One in three teens will experience violence in their dating relationships. The abuse experienced by teens is similar to the abuse experienced by adults, including physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, and intimidation. Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence, at a rate almost triple the national average.

Teens are not always able to talk about the abuse to trusted adults in their lives. This can be due to a variety of factors including not acknowledging the signs of abuse, fear, embarrassment and fearing they wouldn’t be believed.

A teen’s confusion about the law and the desire for confidentiality are two of the most significant barriers to young victims of violence seeking help.

We must work together to bring attention to the issue of teen dating violence. To do that, we need to provide resources and education to the young people who are experiencing violence. We need to understand the dynamics of domestic violence, recognize it when it happens, and offer interventions. These steps are essential if we are to ever break the cycle.

For more resources regarding teen dating violence there are many websites available. Statistics for this blog came from http://www.teendvmonth.org/. You can also visit http://www.breakthecycle.org/ and the Hope House website http://www.hopehouse.net/ for more information.

Civil Legal Assistance Program

2011-01-26T15:23:00.000-06:00

January, 2011 marks the 10 year anniversary of the Hope House Civil Legal Assistance Program.

In January, 2001, Hope House hired a full-time paralegal and began contracting with a full-time attorney, Mary Weir, to represent victims of domestic violence in civil legal matters. Over the last ten years the legal program has represented thousands of women in obtaining orders of protection, custody of their children, child support, divorces, name changes, and in other civil legal matters.

Throughout this ten year period, the program has been primarily funded from a grant through the Office on Violence Against Women (OVW). However, there were actually two years when the OVW funding didn’t come through and Hope House, recognizing the immense need for direct legal services, managed to continue the program on its own.

While Ms. Weir has continued on as the contract attorney over the ten year period, there were also times when the funding permitted Hope House to expand the program to two full-time attorneys and extra support staff. Hope House is happy to announce that we are in the process of once again adding a second attorney and our paralegal of eight years, Shannon Pollard, continues in her full-time position.

In addition to the direct legal representation the legal program provides, the contract attorney also successfully argued to the Missouri Supreme Court in 2004 for the protection of the identity and records of all persons served by domestic violence agencies in Missouri.

Frequently, the legal program receives comments or letters from women expressing their gratitude for helping them obtain safety, security and empowerment in the face of a daunting legal system. We know that this program has not only changed women and children's lives, it has saved them.

Stalking Awareness Month

2011-01-19T14:09:00.000-06:00

January 2011 marks the 8^th annual Stalking Awareness Month. During the month of January programs will bring awareness to the issue of stalking and what people can do to stop it.

3.4 million people are stalked in this country each year. Often the perception is that it is celebrities that are stalked by crazed fans. While this does happen, it is not the majority of stalking cases. Three out of four victims know their stalker. Nearly one third of victims are stalked by a current or former spouse or girl/boy friend.

The impact of stalking takes many forms but the emotional and physical toll on the victims is tremendous. The constant threat of someone following you, watching your moves and threatening you places a heavy toll on stalking victims. People who are stalked are always afraid and constantly looking over their shoulders. It is difficult to find peace and rest when fear is always present.

46% of stalking victims fear not knowing what will happen next.
29% of stalking victims fear the stalking will never stop.
The prevalence of anxiety, insomnia, social dysfunction, and severe depression is much higher among stalking victims than the general population, especially if the stalking involves being followed or having one’s property destroyed.
2/3 of stalkers pursue their victims at least once per week, many daily.
78% of stalkers use more than one means of approach.

If you know someone who is being stalked or you are a victim, there are resources available. A great resource is the Stalking Resource Center at www.ncvc.org and also at www.stalkingawarenessmonth.org. As always, Hope House can help answer questions and assist with safety planning. Our 24-hour hotline 816-461-HOPE (4673) is always available.

Source: The Stalking Resource Center. (June 2009) Stalking Fact Sheet 2Tjaden, P., & Thoennes, N. (1998). Stalking in America: Findings from the National Violence Against Women survey. National Institute of Justice and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Research in Brief. Washington, DC: U.S. Department

Go Green

2011-01-12T14:00:00.002-06:00

How can you have a direct and positive impact on the lives of thousands of women and children you may never meet? By going green, you can give green (funds) to support the daily operations of Hope House.

We have partnered with Global Re-Source Funding (GRF) and we’re delighted to offer the opportunity for businesses, schools, churches and other organizations to collect recyclables to support our services and programs for victims of domestic violence.

By collecting inkjet and laser/toner cartridges, cell phones, laptops, GPS devices, digital cameras and iPods, you will be raising money to help Hope House create a safe environment and supportive services for the thousands of victims of domestic violence who take advantage of these services each year.

The best part of this program is that you can support Hope House simply by asking for a donation of items (not cash!) that most people discard anyway. Your impact can be substantial. Here’s a partial list of the donation Hope House can receive for your recyclables:

Inkjet cartridge: $4

Toner/laser cartridge: $12

Laptop: $35

Cell phones/iPods: $100

GRF provides free recycle bins and marketing materials. They will deliver the bin(s) to you, and will pick them up when they’re full. It couldn’t be easier for you to help us!

Simply contact Lee at Hope House at 816-257-9363 or lmarlin@hopehouse.net, or go to GRF’s website (http://www.globalre-sourcefunding.com/) to sign up directly.

From all of us at Hope House and Global Re-Source Funding, thank you for going green and giving green (cash, through GRF’s donation back to Hope House!) to support our mission to break the cycle of domestic violence.

Workplace Violence

2011-01-05T16:30:00.000-06:00

I receive regular email updates from the Family Violence Prevention Fund (www.endabuse.org) which is a great resource for people who are interested in ending the cycle of domestic violence.

One of the recent updates I received talked about the new initiative launched by President Obama and Vice President Biden called Workplaces Respond to Domestic and Sexual Violence: A National Resource Center.

This center is a new resource that will assist employers in their quest to ensure the safety of their employees. The center was formed by a partnership of seven national organizations led by the Family Violence Prevention Fund (FVPF), and funded by the Justice Department’s Office on Violence Against Women (OVW).

The center has a website for employers to get current information, resources and tools to assist in creating policies that will protect their employees. Often employers seek assistance after an employee has been murdered, as they are trying to determine what went wrong and what they might have been able to do to prevent the murder. This new resource is a valuable tool to employers, and hopefully will help to prevent future domestic violence attacks/murders.

If you are an employer, I encourage you to visit the website of the Center (www.workplacesrespond.org) where you can take a quiz to find out how much you know about violence and its effects on the workplace. Then read more about domestic violence and find out about the resources that are available that will help you maintain a safe environment for everyone.

I believe this new tool is one more step in the direction of ending the cycle of domestic violence and giving everyone the opportunity to live a life free of violence. It takes many concerned individuals to truly make an impact and this new resource provides valuable tools for people to get involved and to make a difference.

I appreciate the hard work the Family Violence Prevention Fund and the other organizations put into this initiative and know we will have positive outcomes because of it.

Happy New Year

2010-12-29T14:10:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year!! 2011 is just two days away, and we are gearing up for it to be a great year.

We are so excited to be planning our grand opening for the new therapy building and for all of the renovations and changes that have happened on the Independence campus. It is a beautiful, calming atmosphere; a perfect environment for healing to take place.

We continue to be forward thinking in our plans for this year. We will continue to enhance our programming through grants that we have received. It is so exciting to be able to hire back staff and enhance the quality of our programming. We have been operating at lower staffing levels but continuing to have increased demand. This can take a toll on the staff, to be able to provide relief for them is such a thrill.

Last year we turned away more than we served in shelter; hopefully this year will be different. We will continue to offer services to as many as we can through all of our programming and minimize the numbers who are turned away. We will continue to advocate at the state and national level to make sure that the needs of those impacted by domestic violence are heard and addressed.

We remain positive that our work is making a difference in the lives of women and children. I heard from a former resident not too long ago who said, “Hope House saved me.” I said, “No, you saved yourself. We just helped.” I plan to continue to offer services that help women in their journey to reclaim themselves and move on to lives free of abuse.

I hope you will stay with me on this journey as we see what 2011 brings for us.

My Holiday Hope

2010-12-22T14:00:00.001-06:00

I know that it can sound cliché but I really do hope for world peace; that we can someday find ourselves living in harmony and no one is afraid in their own home and of their life partner.

It is always at this time of year that this wish seems to be most prominent in my mind; the holidays seem to bring this out in me. I know that we have made great strides and have come so far in breaking the cycle of domestic violence, so I am celebrating that today.

We are that much closer and many more people have joined us in our efforts so I will take that with me and allow that to nourish, energize and motivate me to continue my part in this work.

Thank you for joining me in this effort. Thank you for all you do in making our world one step closer to being free of domestic violence.

Happy Holidays to you and yours. Wishing you peace and happiness.

Celebrating Traditions

2010-12-15T14:03:00.000-06:00

It is that time of year and everyone is gearing up for the holidays. Our clients have many different traditions this time of year. We work hard to make sure that everyone’s traditions are honored, and they are given the opportunity to celebrate.

We work with clients from all faiths and each has its own unique traditions. We have a committee that works on ensuring the environment at Hope House is representative of who the clients are, and where they come from. At this time of year, we typically celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa.

We are working to educate ourselves on the many other holidays that occur during this season, as well as throughout the year. We welcome information on traditions of which we may not be aware.

Our goal is to be a safe place for people to come and be themselves, and to give them the opportunity to carry on their traditions, or create new ones. We do not have a script of what they should or shouldn’t do, but celebrate with them in the way that makes them most comfortable.

It is a great opportunity for us to learn new beliefs and learn of the experiences our clients have had that have helped shape who they are today. What a gift to be able to do that with our clients and grow with them.

We are looking forward to this most celebrated season and sharing in our clients’ joy of the season - whatever that looks like for them.

End the Silence on Domestic Violence

2010-12-08T14:00:00.001-06:00

If you haven’t been watching Dr. Phil (on ABC) the past couple of months you may have missed his very exciting announcement about his partnership with the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) and his new initiative called End the Silence on Domestic Violence. He launched a season long campaign to bring attention to the issue of domestic violence.

His shows have addressed the many aspects of domestic violence: red flags to look for, teen dating violence and the danger when leaving an abusive relationship. His attention to this topic is encouraging and brings much hope to those of us in the field.

It is so helpful to have a national celebrity talking about the issue, bringing it to the forefront and allowing it to be discussed openly. It is a legitimate topic to address and I appreciate his attention.

I am so pleased that Sue Else with NNEDV has partnered with Dr. Phil as she understands this issue like no other. She worked at Hope House for 18 years and is always bringing the issue to the forefront. Her efforts in this are greatly appreciated.

Many lives will be impacted by the discussions that have taken place and will take place over the course of the season. It is so helpful to have those with such a large audience talking about the issue, raising the awareness and directing people to the available resources.

Hope House will be here offering the services to those in need and helping Dr. Phil and NNEDV end the silence. For more information on Dr. Phil’s efforts, visit his website. For Hope House resources, please visit hopehouse.net.

The Holiday Store

2010-12-01T14:00:00.001-06:00

Struggling through leaving a relationship and working through the painful issue of domestic violence is never easy, but it can be especially difficult at the holiday times.

We provide a Holiday Store at each of our locations so that both shelter and outreach clients are able to “shop” for gifts for their children and children get to “shop” for their mom. This is a great way for the moms to make the holiday special for their children, even if it is different from their past celebrations.

We help both the moms and the kids work through the difficulties and begin the healing process, and encourage them to take a moment to have fun and not worry about all of the stressors in their lives. If we can help make the holiday special, and make them feel like life is back to “normal”, then we have accomplished a lot.

Creating new traditions and new beginnings is a wonderful way to celebrate the season. So if you are looking for ways to get involved this holiday season, think of Hope House and the clients we serve. We would love to have you help us in giving our clients the special holiday season they so deserve.

For ideas on how to help, visit our website www.hopehouse.net (click on Ways to Give, then Donate Items) or call 816-461-4188, ext. 0 and ask for our holiday wish list.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving

2010-11-24T14:00:00.001-06:00

We have so much to be thankful for at Hope House and it is always good to pause and to give thanks for all that we have. We are blessed to have so many friends and supporters of our agency. Without all of you we would not be where we are today.

I am so grateful for the Board of Directors, the Advisory Board and the staff that works so hard every day to provide quality services to those who have been impacted by domestic violence.

I am grateful to all of the people that have challenged us to do better and who have supported us on our journey. I’m especially thankful to Barbara Potts who had the vision and the courage to start this agency in 1983. She and a group of dedicated individuals still support us today, offering their guidance and encouragement.

So, as you all reflect on your blessings and what you are thankful for, remember that you have made a difference for Hope House. We are able to do what we do because of you, and for that we are grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving.

The Guardian Program

2010-11-18T08:51:00.000-06:00

In domestic violence situations, visitation and exchange of children is a very dangerous time. Knowing that the custodial parent is obligated to honor the court order allowing visitation, the abuser often uses the opportunity to continue to stalk, abuse and to terrorize the victim/custodial parent.

Knowing this, Hope House started the Guardian Program in November of 2002. Our program is designed so that visits and exchanges are safe for everyone. The custodial and the non-custodial parents arrive separately, park in separate parking lots, and leave at different times so that there can be no opportunity for abuse or stalking to occur.

The program consists of a Program Coordinator, therapists, and an off-duty police officer who is there to ensure everyone’s safety.

The program has three components:

1) The exchange of children when there is no court order for supervised visits. This most often occurs Wednesday evenings, and/or Friday evenings for weekend visits with the kids returning on Sunday. In exchanges the children are taken from the custodial parent to the non-custodial parent by the staff person; the parents never interact.

2) When the court has ordered the visits to be supervised, the program is able to offer two levels of supervised visits.

a. The first is less intensive and can be offered in a group setting with other families.

b. In more severe situations, a judge may order that the non-custodial parent can’t be around any other children. In those situations, the visit would be limited to just the one family.

The Guardian Program has offered safety, support and hope to hundreds of children as they visit with their non-custodial parent. It gives them the opportunity to begin the healing process, and if they desire, to rebuild a relationship with the offending parent; the choice is theirs.

Kids' Birthdays in Shelter

2010-11-10T10:00:00.000-06:00

Photograph from pxleyes.wordpress.com

Do you remember what it was like to celebrate your birthday as a child? For some of us there was anticipation of presents; perhaps a party with balloons, streamers and party hats. Of course there was a cake with candles and ice cream, and friends and family taking pictures and singing Happy Birthday.

I believe birthdays are a precious thing and need to be celebrated to the fullest. It is your special day and for 24 hours you get to be reminded of just how wonderful you are.

At Hope House we work very hard to ensure that everyone realizes just how special they are every day, but especially on their birthdays. With the help and generosity of our donors, we have new toys and gifts available so Moms can pick out the perfect presents and wrap them for their birthday child. Kids are able to do the same thing for their moms who are celebrating their special day.

We had a donor that loved birthdays and always made them very special for her children. When she passed, her children set up a fund in her name that is to be used to purchase birthday cakes for kids who are in shelter. This allows these kids the opportunity to blow out the candles on a decorated cake, and have a group of people sing a rousing “Happy Birthday to You”. They get to have a very special moment that is theirs alone.

Metropolitan Family Violence Coalition

2010-11-04T07:55:00.000-05:00

One of the great things about being a domestic violence service provider in the Kansas City metro area is being a part of the Metropolitan Family Violence Coalition (MFVC). MFVC is composed of the six domestic violence agencies in the metro area, both in Missouri and Kansas.

All six of the agencies provide domestic violence services, emergency shelter, advocacy, and court advocacy, and all participate in the operation of the shared metro hotline (816-HOTLINE). The hotline is a critical tool for those who are in need to reach a safe and understanding person to talk to about their situation whether they are in immediate crisis or just need someone to listen.

The hotline is shared in order to provide one phone number for people in need to call, so victims do not have to remember six phone numbers in the time of crisis.

In addition to the hotline, the MFVC also offers the BridgeSPAN program which is a comprehensive hospital-based advocacy program. There are over 36 hospitals in the metro area partnering with the DV agencies to offer advocacy and crisis intervention to those patients identified in the hospital as needing services.

The agencies that comprise the MFVC are committed to meeting the needs of those impacted by domestic violence and working in collaboration to best meet those needs. Our goal is to work together, not in competition with each other. Our challenges are often the same so we can share what has worked and what hasn’t, support each other in our struggles and celebrate with each other in our successes.

We strive to not duplicate services but to offer a comprehensive range of services so that no matter where a person is in the metro, one of the agencies will be able to help meet the need.

I feel so fortunate that there are six very committed and dedicated agencies providing a seamless safety net of services to victims in this area. I have been to other areas and it doesn’t appear there is such a comprehensive collaboration working for victims.

It is our hope that someday we can celebrate the end of violence in our community. Until then, we will continue our commitment to provide quality and comprehensive services to those impacted by domestic violence and we will do it together as a group.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)

2010-10-27T14:03:00.000-05:00

This photo is a representation only. It is not an actual client.

Today’s guest blogger is Janet Howard, a therapist at Hope House.

I have been a therapist at Hope House for eight years. About three years ago I discovered the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). In EFT, we use our fingertips and tap on specific meridian points to realign the body’s natural energy centers. This allows the memory to be healed, and the body’s energy to be realigned.

I know it sounds fantastic and something right out of a sci-fi movie, but believe me, if done correctly, healing from painful memories occurs in a matter of minutes.

Free from the emotional pain of the memory, the client can then reorganize their thought processes and move on with their life. Such was the case with Patty*. The first time I met Patty, she appeared to be afraid of taking up too much space. She sat in an almost fetal position.

She avoided eye contact and spoke so softly that I could barely hear her. She fidgeted with her fingers. Her fingernails were so short from biting them that they had scabs. Her eyes were lifeless. Her complexion was pasty, probably due to her latest overdose of medications.

She had been in psychological services since pre-adolescence, and had experienced domestic violence her whole life. Her hospitalizations for suicidal attempts were a normal part of her life. She practiced every type of self destructive behaviors I had ever known. Although she had spent years in therapy, she had never found lasting relief from her painful memories, or self destructive behaviors. She wanted to try EFT.

Over the following months we journeyed through her past and present, putting away old misery, pain, and fear-based ideas. Patty learned new healthy coping skills, and practiced EFT daily. She worked very hard to change, and save, her life.

Several months ago, as Patty sat in my office, we discussed how much she had changed her life. She had confidence and self love. She sat up straight, and had direct eye contact. Her eyes were clear and bright - full of promise and hope. She spoke with assurance and calm certainty. She could face life head on without fear.

She had outgrown her need for therapy in her life. She was enrolled in college, lived in her own apartment, and had a supportive group of friends. She had a future. She had a life.

*names have been changed

Completion of Our Capital Campaign

2010-10-20T11:06:00.000-05:00

In December 2009 the Kresge Foundation granted Hope House a $600,000 challenge grant for our Building Hope capital campaign for the construction and renovations to the Independence campus. To qualify for the gift, we had to complete the remaining fundraising for the campaign within one year.

We’re excited to announce that we have successfully satisfied the conditions of the Kresge challenge. This means that we have successfully raised $5,000,000 for our capital campaign and have completed the fundraising portion of the campaign!

The construction on the campus is well underway with the shelter and daycare renovations already completed. Work is underway in the Court and Legal Services Building as well as the Community Partnership Building. The new Therapy building (shown above) has the walls and roof in place so work will not be interrupted with any inclement weather.

Work is progressing along very well and we should be completed with all aspects of the campaign by spring of 2011. We will have a ribbon cutting and grand opening once the work is completed and weather is suitable for an outside gathering.

We are so appreciative of all of the support that we have received from the community that has allowed us to make these improvements so we can continue to provide quality services to our clients.

The Demand is Rising

2010-10-13T15:02:00.000-05:00

On September 15^th Hope House once again took part in the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) Census. This is an annual count of adults and children who seek services from U.S. domestic violence shelter programs during a single 24-hour survey period.

In that same 24-hour period last year, the results showed us that Missouri programs:

served 2,033 victims.
provided 1,238 victims emergency shelters or transitional housing.
provided 795 adults and children non-residential assistance and services such as counselling and legal advocacy.
answered 515 hotline calls.
educated 1,410 people in prevention trainings.
turned away 416 requests for service.

While the number served is truly amazing, in the entirety of 2009 Missouri programs had to turn away more people than they served due to lack of funding/lack of staff.

I suspect that when the numbers for the 2010 census are released in a few months the picture will be worse. I am anticipating that we will see more turned away, more numbers served, and a greater demand for services.

Hopefully soon we will see a trend in the opposite direction that will find providers with enough funding to increase their capacity to meet the growing need.

If you want to learn more about the census and what is happening across the country, visit the NNEDV website at www.nnedv.org and click on projects.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

2010-10-06T13:38:00.000-05:00

This month is an opportunity for programs that work with the issue of domestic violence to celebrate those who have survived, mourn those who have died, and increase the awareness of the issue.

It continues to amaze and sadden me that there are people in Eastern Jackson County who have not heard about Hope House and are not aware that the largest provider of domestic violence services in the state of Missouri is located within their community.

We still have a lot of work to do to make sure that everyone who is in need knows we’re here for them. This month is an opportunity for us to spread the word about what we’re doing and engage people in helping to stop the violence.

We’ll spend time at community events and health fairs, and with service organizations and businesses who give us the opportunity to talk about domestic violence and what we are doing to break the cycle.

If you have an opportunity to wear purple during the month of October to show your support of those who have been impacted by domestic violence, please do so. If you would like someone to speak to your group about domestic violence, let us know and we’ll be happy to be there.

As we raise awareness this month, we look forward to the day that we no longer lose a life due to domestic violence.

Violence Against Women Act (VAWA)

2010-09-30T10:52:00.000-05:00

We are celebrating the 16^th anniversary of the Violence Against Women Act of 1994 (VAWA). It is a federal law that was first signed by President Clinton on September13, 1994. VAWA was reauthorized by Congress in 2000, and again in December 2005. It is up for reauthorization in 2011.

VAWA was developed as a result of concerned groups of prosecutors, law enforcement, victim advocates and the courts coming together and urging Congress to adopt legislation that would address the issue of domestic violence. Since it originally passed in 1994, the focus has expanded from domestic violence to include dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking.

The intent of VAWA is to improve the way communities work together to address the issue of domestic violence. It was adopted to combine new penalties to prosecute offenders while also implementing programs to address the victim’s needs.

By requiring a coordinated community response (CCR), VAWA makes communities talk to each other and work together to ensure there is a safety net of services provided for victims and a coordinated response to the perpetrator.

This CCR is actually one of the greatest successes of VAWA. This type of collaboration didn’t exist before and the needs of the victims of domestic violence were not being addressed as quickly and efficiently as they are now.

We have always known that domestic violence is not a family issue. It is a community issue and it takes the entire community working together to really make a difference in the lives of those impacted by domestic violence. Thank you to our members of Congress who continue to understand and support the needs of victims by the continued passage and support of VAWA.

Howlin' for Hope

2010-09-22T13:57:00.000-05:00

We have all kinds of events every year to raise funds to support Hope House services, but Howlin’ for Hope is probably the most fun. We’ll spend the afternoon at Howl at the Moon in the Power & Light District, and be wowed by “the World's Greatest Rock 'n' Roll Dueling Piano Show.”

Howl at the Moon is a total entertainment experience where the piano players and staff not only entertain the guests - the guests become part of the show. This totally fun event will have you singing and dancing with everyone in the room. We’ll also have a live auction.

The fun starts at 3PM on Sunday, October 3 (no Chiefs’ game that day!) and goes until 6PM. Tickets are $25 and include 2 drink tickets. Visit our website to purchase tickets in advance, because this event sells out ever year!

You must be 21 years or older to attend this event.

IT’S UNITED WAY TIME

2010-09-15T11:00:00.003-05:00

United Way kicked off its fundraising campaign on September 8 at the Westin Crown Center. It is now campaign time for companies and partnering United Way agencies. UW is working hard to make sure that agencies have the resources available to provide the critical services being offered in our area. Hope House is proud to be a partner agency with United Way and will work hard to ensure that the campaign is successful.

Hope House receives approximately 6% of our budget from United Way. This is through the allocation process and from those donors that designate their giving to our agency. It is imperative that the campaign is successful so that agencies like Hope House can continue to receive the crucial funding for our programs.

United Way has gone through many changes over the past couple of years and is truly committed to making change happen in our community. The changes have been positive and thoughtful and will positively impact our community.

If you work for a company that does a United Way campaign, congratulations - you are making a difference. If you are not, please consider starting a workplace campaign. United Way makes it easy, and agencies like Hope House are available to visit your workplace and present information about our programs and what being a partner with United Way means for our agency.

Safe Family Coalition

2010-09-08T15:16:00.000-05:00

Domestic violence and child abuse often occur together. Before 2001 there were many agencies that addressed each of these problems as separate issues. At times, these agencies seemed to work against each other, potentially putting women and children in greater danger of harm.

To address this problem, the Jackson County Safe Family Coalition (SFC) was formed. Their mission is to provide a coordinated community response to child abuse and domestic violence that will provide safety, enhance well-being, and provide stability for children and families.

SFC is made up of the many agencies that are involved when domestic violence and child abuse occur together:

• child protection workers
• adult and family courts
• county and city prosecutors
• judges
• domestic violence shelters
• law enforcement
• probation and parole
• social workers
• mental health services providers

SFC has challenged all of the participating agencies to look at our systems and change operations with the SFC mission as a guide. The best way to keep children safe is to keep the non-offending parent safe. This is accomplished by:

• Holding the perpetrator accountable for their actions.
• Providing meaningful help, support, and services for families who are experiencing child abuse and domestic violence.
• Providing legal interventions and services that stop violence and abuse.

SFC has committed to educate agencies and their staffs about resources that are available when they recognize cases of domestic violence with child abuse. SFC also seeks to engage the community by creating awareness about the need to provide a comprehensive array of services that will respond to the unique strengths and concerns of families.

Hope House has been a proud partner of this coalition and will continue coming to the table to keep children and the non-offending parent safe. We are very grateful that so many partners have joined us to make a difference in our communities.

For more information about the Safe Family Coalition, please visit their website http://www.jcsafefamily.org/.

Survivor Treatment Group

2010-09-01T14:16:00.001-05:00

Hope House offers a 12 week Survivor Treatment Group to battered women who are out of their abusive relationships for at least three months and attempting to put their lives back together.

Abusers’ tactics of verbal and emotional abuse reinforce a negative perception of self. The victim begins to see herself as her abuser defines her. She loses her self-identity. The focus of the Survivor Treatment Group is the recovery of a sense of self. We help the client to define her own beliefs, validate her own feelings and develop a healthy regard for her self worth. This allows the client to transform herself from victim to survivor to thriver.

There are five topics addressed with two weeks devoted to each topic. Participants explore issues in their own lives relating to the topic discussed.

Week 1: “I’m Okay, You’re Okay.” A look at power and control in abusive relationships. Why does it happen? How does it happen?

Week 3: “How Did this Happen to Me?” A look at our own personalities. Where did we get our life ‘tapes’? How did my ‘tapes’ allow me to remain in an abusive relationship?

Week 5: “Whose Fence is this Anyway?” Establishing healthy boundaries. A look at what boundaries really are and what role they play in establishing and maintaining healthy relationships.

Week 7: “The Secret to it All – Loving Myself.” A look at self-esteem. How do I get there? Tools to help me stop beating myself up.

Week 9: “Letting the World Know I Love Myself.” A look at assertiveness and tools for healthy communication.

Week 11: “Putting it all Together – Letting it all Go.” Putting all the previous information together to let go of the past and start over with power in the present moment.

To get more information about joining this group, call our hotline at 816-461-HOPE (4673).

A Successful Hope & All That Jazz

2010-08-25T14:07:00.000-05:00

Hope and All That Jazz took place on Saturday night at the Muehlebach Hotel. It was a huge achievement, bringing in around $327,000 that will help fund vital programs that help women and children affected by domestic violence.

It was a wonderful evening with people filling the hallways and the ballroom to support Hope House. The silent and live auctions were fantastic. We had a committee that worked extremely hard on securing new and interesting items that were a hit with our guests.

We were fortunate to have Mary Hunter share her story of the road to recovery that took place in her family after her daughter was a victim of domestic violence. She shared how difficult it was to believe that it could happen to her family - a family that was full of love and self esteem and “ordinary” in so many ways - not one that could be impacted by domestic violence.

What she learned through her process is that domestic violence can happen to anyone, including her daughter. How wonderful to hear such an uplifting story and know that Hope House services made a difference in the lives of Mary’s family.

I am grateful for all of the hard work of our co-chairs, Bill and Liz Downey, and Chuck and Susie Caisley. They worked so hard to secure sponsors and to introduce Hope House to new people who have become our friends. We couldn’t have done it without them or our Board of Directors.

My thanks to everyone who had a hand in making this event such a huge success.

Please mark your calendars for next year, August 20th, for another wonderful Hope and All That Jazz. We would love to see you there.

The Hope House BridgeSPAN Program

2010-08-18T13:52:00.000-05:00

Health care providers are in a unique position to help victims of abuse if they know how to detect domestic violence (DV) and provide victims with referrals and support. It only makes sense, then, to reach out to survivors in area hospitals. This is what the Hope House BridgeSPAN Program aims to do.

Through the BridgeSPAN program, Hope House and other area DV programs provide a coordinated effort to address DV as a serious healthcare issue in 46 hospitals and clinics throughout the Kansas City metro area. BridgeSPAN offers patients with on-site advocacy including support, safety planning, and access to ongoing DV services including those for mental health. It also offers training for medical personnel, and protocol development and maintenance.

Recently, our BridgeSPAN Coordinator provided training to new employees of a local hospital about how to screen patients for DV and what resources to offer when patients screen positive for abuse. Later that evening, a nurse who went through the training called the hotline to obtain services for herself. She had been in an abusive marriage for several years and had never reached out for help.

The nurse told the hotline operator that after hearing the trainer talk about what DV entails and what survivors go through, she suddenly realized that the trainer was describing her own life. That nurse was able to speak with the hotline operator about a plan for leaving her abusive relationship and she entered services shortly after.

(Photo credit: Aaron Lindberg)

Hope & All That Jazz - August 21

2010-08-11T15:30:00.000-05:00

Would you like to stay in a fully furnished villa for 7 days in Hawaii, or enjoy Carrie Underwood in luxury with 16 tickets in the KCP&L Sprint Center suite?

Well, our largest fundraiser of the year is just around the corner (Saturday, August 21) and those items will be available at the event in the live auction. This event is so much fun and so important to our mission. We are expecting over 600 people at this event where we will have dinner and enjoy the silent and live auction.

Take a sneak peek at some of the auction items we’ll have available by checking out our Auction Flipbook.

We'll have so many other wonderful items too, including jewelry, children’s items, artwork, wine and many, many other beautiful things to bid on. It is so much fun to watch the guests get into bidding wars with each other over their favorite items!

The funds raised from this event support our daily operations, allowing us to provide life-saving and critical services to over 10,000 people every year who are impacted by domestic violence.

This year we will move across the street to the Muehlebach Hotel. I know that the new venue will be perfect and the evening will be a success. We are still taking reservations, so if you don't have your tickets yet, it isn’t too late. You can purchase tickets at our website, or call Libby at 816-257-9334.

Looking forward to seeing you there.

Construction Update

2010-08-04T13:30:00.004-05:00

The Hope House Independence campus is full of activity with construction happening all around us. The renovation to the living area of shelter is complete and the clients have moved back in. The transformation is amazing.

The meeting space for intakes is now private and we have room for the children to play separate from mom but yet still visible through a glass wall. The little ones won’t have to be exposed to the questions and the responses but will still feel safe since mom is right there in their sight. There is expanded storage and a better flowing work space for the staff.

The daycare playground will be the next project started. We will expand the playground to have a separate space for the really young kids to be able to play and crawl around without worry about the bigger kids tripping over them. We will be installing a new playground structure and a trike trail for the little ones to ride their bikes in a safe enclosed space.

Work will continue on the new Therapy building with the anticipated completion date at the beginning of 2011.

Thank you to everyone who participated in our capital campaign that has allowed this work to happen. It is a gift that we are extremely grateful for and will treasure always. We are committed to providing quality services to those in need and the work in this campaign will assist us in doing that in an environment that lends itself to the healing process.

Advocacy Days in Washington D.C.

2010-07-28T13:20:00.000-05:00

I recently had the privilege to participate in the annual Advocacy Days sponsored by the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) in Washington, D.C.

NNEDV organizes this annual event to educate advocates on new legislation and the needs across the country. We then carry a common message to Capitol Hill when we meet with our elected officials.

Our message was simple: programs are in dire need. More money is needed to meet the ever increasing needs of those impacted by domestic violence. People are being hurt and killed every day and we must do something to help those programs that are working with the survivors.

In Missouri, more women were turned away than were served last year. For every two women served, three were turned away. The demand for services is increasing and the resources to serve them are decreasing. We shared many stories and the frustration of not being able to do more to help those in need.

There was much discussion about how we can increase the money in such a very tight economy, when so many are suffering. This fact is clearly understood by those of us working with survivors. Thanks to NNEDV’s work, we were able to clearly talk about strategies and ways that this can be done.

I left D.C. with appreciation for the hard decisions that our elected officials have to make every day in prioritizing needs. I hope that we will be able to have the necessary resources to do our work and to help the thousands of people that are impacted by domestic violence every year.

My Lilith Fair Experience

2010-07-21T14:42:00.001-05:00

Sarah McLachlan presents MaryAnne
Metheny with a $4000 check.

I was lucky enough to represent Hope House at the Lilith Fair last week at the Capital Federal Park at Sandstone.

As we’ve discussed in recent blogs, $1 from every ticket sold to the Kansas City Lilith Fair as given Hope House, who was chosen through a Choose Your Charity contest on Facebook. We received $4,000 to help us in our mission to break the cycle of domestic violence.

See our Lilith Fair pictures here.

Lilith Fair and its organizer Sarah McLachlan have been receiving negative publicity and questions regarding the necessity of Lilith Fair and if it makes sense to do it again after such a long hiatus.

Times have changed since the last Lilith Fair but does that mean it shouldn’t happen again? Yes, ticket sales are down and some tour sites have had to be cancelled, but that is happening to all concerts, unfortunately. I wish the economy was better and that people had more disposable income that they could use for entertainment such as the Lilith Fair.

It was an incredible experience and I feel sad that more people were not there to take part in it. Everyone else missed out on an amazing experience and remarkable music. In an interview on NPR, Sarah McLachlan said “it is not about ticket sales, it's about the experience of Lilith — about artists getting together to make this world a better place.”

In the same interview Sarah said, "that's one of my greatest passions: women and children. Anybody who doesn't have their own voice, or doesn't know how to reach out and have their own voice and help themselves in a bad situation. And, yes, there's a lot of horrible things going on all over the world, but as individuals, I think we all have to focus on our own gifts and our own values and bring those forth to the world the best we can.”

How perfect for Hope House to be the recipient of funds from an organization with such passion and concern for women and children. I have always felt that the mission of Hope House is to help women find their voice after it has been lost or taken away. How inspiring that Sarah feels the same way and through her advocacy and her willingness to work hard, she has helped us to do that.

I appreciate her focusing her gift of music to help others and feel incredibly fortunate that we were chosen to be Lilith’s charity. It was a wonderful experience and I would say to the naysayers: go to the concert, enjoy and don’t inject negativity into a group of people who are trying to make a difference in our world.

Lilith Fair Helps Hope House

2010-07-14T12:38:00.000-05:00

Our guest blogger this week is Lee Marlin, Director of Marketing for Hope House.

Don’t you need a vacation day? I suggest taking off Thursday of this week (7/15) and spending the day celebrating women in music at the Lilith Fair Tour at Capital Federal Park at Sandstone.

The show starts at 2:30pm and goes til 11pm. If you can’t take the day off, go after work; there’ll still be a lot of amazing music waiting for you.

Hope House was chosen as the winner of Lilith’s Choose Your Charity promotion. That means Hope House will receive $1 for every ticket purchased. Sandstone has a capacity of 18,000. My mind boggles when I think of what Hope House could do with $18,000! We’re sure hoping for a sell-out! Get your tickets now at http://lilithfair.com.

A few of the acts at the Kansas City stop include Sarah McLachlan, Heart, Emmylou Harris, Courtyard Hounds (2/3 of the Dixie Chicks), and locals Sara Swenson and Julia Othmer.

Lilith organizer Sarah McLachlan will be on-hand to perform, and to present the check to Hope House CEO MaryAnne Metheny. How exciting is that?!

The purchase of one ticket can support Hope House and women in music (and get you out of the office with a chance to work on your tan)… it’s a no-brainer. Hope to see you there.